


The Perks of Having a Babysitter

by a_little_bit_larry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Babysitter Louis, M/M, basically louis is the worst babysitter on the face of the planet omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 16:12:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_little_bit_larry/pseuds/a_little_bit_larry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Recently moved over from Tumblr - complete!</p><p>16 year old Harry Styles isn’t supposed to be there when his mum leaves for the night and brings in a sitter to watch his two younger siblings. But when his plans change and he is forced to deal with with 19 year old Louis Tomlinson, the babysitter and the boy he’s had a crush on for two years, Harry may realize he doesn’t mind having a sitter all that much after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on Tumblr and decided to move it over to AO3. It is complete!

Harry did not need a babysitter. He was 16 fucking years old. He was practically an adult. His balls had dropped. He had hairs starting to grow on his chin, for fucks sake!

He wasn’t even supposed to be there while his mum went out tonight, it was only supposed to be his younger siblings here being watched. He should be staying with a friend, but Liam had called and cancelled on him instead. What a great mate.

He’d begged and pleaded with his mum to cancel the sitter. Louis didn’t need to come over. He was old enough to watch little Gemma and Isaiah by himself, he didn’t need his older neighbor who was home from Uni for the summer coming over to help… especially not when Harry had a crush on him the size ofAfrica. Not that Louis or anyone else knew that. Or would. Ever. He was going to take that secret to the grave.

But she had told him to stop being daft, she had already made a deal with Louis weeks ago and paid him in advance and besides it wasn’t going to kill Harry to have an extra set of hands (if only she knew what those hands did to him in his mind when he was alone in his room at night, maybe she wouldn’t throw words like that around so carelessly) while she was gone, his younger siblings could be quite a handful after all.

“But… but I’m an adult, mum! He really doesn’t need to come over. I’ll pay you back the money you gave him, promise!” Harry tried desperately to plead in one final attempt with his mother.

“Harry, you don’t have a job, the only money you get is from me. Louis is coming over at 5, he will be here all night until I get back in the morning, end of discussion. For the adult that you claim to be, you sure are throwing a tantrum worthy of your 5 year old brother.” Anne countered.

“What a bitch…” Harry mumbled under his breath, as he turned his back to walk to his bedroom. He said it quietly, almost whispered, he hadn’t expected his mum to hear him at all but apparently she had the hearing abilities of fucking Superman because she called out to him through the door way, “I’m going to pretend like I didn’t hear that, young man! And Louis is still coming!”

Harry just walked into his bedroom and slammed the door, planning to bury himself in Coldplay and self pity. He was in for a rough time of avoiding and pretending he wasn’t attracted to the boy who would be staying in his house… All. Fucking. Night. His face burned red as he thought about the two years he’d had a crush on his 19 year old neighbor and all the things he’d imagined doing to him, and having done to him in return. He wanted to punch himself when he felt a stirring down below the waistband of his jeans at the memories.

Oh god, this was going to be a long, terrible night.

************************************************************

“Sure thing, Ms. Cox. I’ll make sure they eat and all that and that Gemma and Isaiah go to bed early. We’ll have a good time,” said Louis Tomlinson with a winning smile as Harry blatantly stared at him from the next room over.

The older boy was talking to his mother and he was looking positively horrible. Horrible because he was making Harry want to do horrible things to him. He actually looked quite delicious. Standing there in his bright red pants and flimsy grey t-shirt, his skin was so tan, tanner then Harry remembered it ever being in the past and his gorgeous blue eyes that were the reason Harry had fallen for the boy in the first place, seemed to stand out even more because of it. He was smiling at his mum in a dazzling way that should be completely illegal. And his hair was perfectly tousled and he kept reaching up and sweeping it out of his eyes in a way that Harry could only describe as fucking hot. He had never seen someone so able to pull off the sex hair look.

Oh god. No. Harry do not think about Louis and sex in the same thought. Fuck.

Harry pretended to be preoccupied with his cell phone when Louis and his mother walked in from the kitchen and he hoped that neither would notice the violent pink that he knew tinged his cheeks.

When he heard the gorgeous boy’s voice casually asking “Hey Haz, how’s it going?” Harry’s heart dropped into his stomach. He felt like he was on a roller coaster and he’d just been dropped down the steepest incline known to man and he hadn’t been prepared for it at all.

He’d forgotten Louis used to call him Haz. When they would hang out on weekends, jumping on his trampoline and laughing like loons or going to the town pool with a few other friends… When the used to be friends.

But Louis had grown up and he and Harry stopped hanging out as much. They had never been best friends or anything. For Harry, it was sort of like having an older, cooler brother to look up to. Well, like a brother up until the point that Harry had started finding him attractive. Because then the thought just got creepy.

Yeah, he’d grown up and gotten older friends and gone off to University while Harry was just now going to sixth form and yeah, he still had Liam, Niall and Zayn as friends instead of the older boy but Harry wasn’t in love with them and they just weren’t Louis.

Their history as friends made this whole fucking babysitting situation even more awkward.

And what made it even worse was Louis wasn’t even gay. Harry remembered all the girlfriends he used to brag about and hang around. Like that fucking bitch Eleanor. She came around right at the same time Harry started to realize he might be gay… Perfect brown hair, perfect plastic smile, perfect hipster clothes. Ugh. Harry hated her. He hated her even more when he would see them making out and basically groping each other in front of people. Talk about fucking disgusting. Those had been dark times for Harry.

And thinking about what all he’d gotten up to with the university women he must have come into contact with made Harry sick. Well, really, boobs in general made him sick but the reaction was ten times worse when he pictured Louis’ hands touching those boobs and just oh god he wanted to puke. Disgusting.

“Don’t mind Harry, he’ll probably be moody all night. He’s upset that I had you come over even though he’s apparently an adult and old enough to watch the kids by himself. Actually threw quite the tantrum about it. It was adorable.” Anne said.

What the fuck.

Harry’s eyes grew incredibly wide and he felt the blush from earlier coming back fiercely. Why would his mum say something like that? Did she want him to die of embarrassment? This was because of that bitch comment, wasn’t it? Louis was going to think he was an absolute child. Oh god, oh god, oh god. He could not make eye contact with Louis ever again. This was the worst possible way to start off what was already going to be an awful night. 

But Louis just laughed lightly. “I bet it was,” he said with a grin still on his face. “And I promise I’m not going to make you eat your vegetables or, you know, boss you around or anything. Unless you piss me off because then I might have to abuse my power and send you to your room without dessert.”

Harry chanced glancing up and saw the most charming smile gracing the older boy’s face. How was it possible for that smile to do all sorts of things to Harry’s heart? And Louis was joking with him… It was almost like they were good friends again. It was weird.

Being the cheeky bastard that he was, Harry replied “Not that you could actually get me to do anything you said. I do what I want.” His voice came out deep and gravely. But he was trying to deepen his already deep voice for the boy standing across the room from him. No, he definitely wouldn’t do that.

“I guess we’ll have to see about that.” Louis retorted, with an eyebrow raised and a smirk. A fucking smirk. God, was this boy trying to kill him? Even though they were bantering, Harry still couldn’t bring himself to make direct eye contact. It was much, much, much too soon for that. Maybe in about ten years he could make that leap. But for now, staring at his neck seemed to be doing just as fine. And oh what a neck he had.

Eventually his mother left. While she was bustling out the door and Louis was shutting it behind her, Harry admired the definite curve of the older boy’s perfect ass. Uni looked good on him. Anyone could tell he’d been working out, probably playing a few sports here and there. He wanted to take both hands and just squeeze it, feel it beneath his finger tips just so he could know if it felt as wonderful as he imagined. He didn’t catch himself staring, with his bottom lip between his teeth, until Louis turned around and caught him as well.

But the only acknowledgment he gave of catching Harry gawking at him was a slight narrowing of his eyes. The blue depths were questioning Harry, but luckily he had decided that it couldn’t have been the younger boy checking him out because he just shrugged his shoulders and went about his business.

“Gemma! Isaiah! Come on, we’re going to eat ice cream and watch the Wizard of Oz!” Louis yelled through the house and the two little kids came scurrying out of their rooms, more than excited to stuff their faces with sugar and watch vicious flying monkeys rip straw out of a defenseless scarecrow. Kids and their violence these days.

Then Louis turned to Harry who was still sitting in his living room chair, his phone in his hands even though he hadn’t been paying any attention to the object since the babysitter had arrived. The dazzling smile was back and Harry knew not to look directly or it might blind him or something with its beauty. “What about you, Haz? Ice cream? I think your mum said there was chocolate and I know that’s your favorite.”

Fucking shit. It was impossible not to fall in love with this boy, especially when he said and remembered things like that when they hadn’t even been around each other for two years. He knew he didn’t trust himself to be alone with the older boy, but he figured since his kid siblings were around as well that he wouldn’t have a problem… controlling himself.

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, standing up and making his way towards the kitchen, ignoring the feeling of immense pressure he felt weighing down on him with every step he took closer to the older boy. Louis got a funny little smile on his face when he agreed, completely oblivious to how Harry tried to stay as far away from him as possible when he passed, and headed that way as well.

For about a millisecond, Harry forgot he was supposed to be avoiding eye contact with Louis and when he passed by much closer than he’d intended to the boy, his eyes wandered to those ocean deep blue ones that peeked out underneath the perfectly feathered fringe and he swore time stood still. It really was less then a second but Harry remembered their entire friendship in that second, all the jokes and laughs and ice cream cones and pillow fights and even a punch or two, and then the moment Harry had finally realized that the things he was feeling towards Louis were not entirely platonic, that each touch from Louis sent a fucking army of butterflies into his stomach, that those blue eyes were the most beautiful things he’d ever seen in his life. And in that second, he felt something shoot through his body, something he thought he would’ve gotten over when he wasn’t around Louis as much but there was nothing he could do to stop it, it hadn’t gone away and it was looking more and more like it never would. It was like he got electrocuted and the shocking pulse that went through his entire being was the most pleasantly unpleasant thing he’d ever felt; he wouldn’t mind feeling it every day for the rest of his life.

And as Harry finally broke that measly second’s worth of eye contact and practically ran away to the kitchen, he swore he saw Louis shiver and bite his lip.

But no, it couldn’t be. It was just a trick of the light.

**********************************************************

During the film, Harry sat on their black leather couch with Isaiah laying beside him. Louis sat in the same chair from which Harry had been staring at him in earlier. Gemma was sitting on Louis’ fucking lap during the whole thing and had her head laying on his chest. The fact that Harry was jealous of his 7 year old sister should have disturbed him but he was too busy fuming because it was obvious that he was not the only one in this household with a crush on Louis Tomlinson.

She needed to back off because only he was allowed to fall in love with Louis. It was Harry’s job and Harry’s job only to completely disregard anything else going on around them and stare at Louis under his eyelashes hoping beyond hope that he wouldn’t get caught. Gemma was 7. How did she even know what liking somebody was? Surely she should be too preoccupied with playdo and glitter pictures of kittens and unicorns or something to even know what those feelings were! 

Louis was his. He would fight her for him. 

Or not. Because she was 7. And Louis was straight anyway. His little sister had more of a shot than he did. Harry couldn’t have him even if he begged. He really needed a therapist.

Isaiah fell asleep about half way through the film and he looked so precious curled up on the couch. It was only about 8 when the credits started rolling but Harry gingerly picked up his little brother and carried him to his bedroom trying not to wake the sleeping mess in his arms. 

He was just putting the sleeping form down onto the small mattress when the little eyes fluttered open. Harry felt his heart swell because Isaiah was just so damn adorable and his sleepy eyes made him grateful his mom had kept having kids after him. Even if one of them was now competing for his affection of their babysitter. Well, the kid’s babysitter. Because Louis was not here to watch him. He was an adult.

“Harry?” the little boy asked, tiredness making him confused and even cuter. His voice was clouded with sleep and he was mumbling more than actually talking. “I love you, Harry.” He melted. Pressing a kiss to Isaiah’s forehead, Harry whispered back “I love you too and I always will.”

“T-tell – yaaaaawn – Louis I said g’night.” Isaiah immediately fell back asleep as he curled in on himself and Harry gently tucked him in with his blankie. Geez, everyone seemed to be in love with Louis tonight.

And then he turned around and almost let out a scream. Standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame and scaring the absolute shit out of him, was Louis. His lips were turned up in the smallest, but most expressive smile. He looked impressed and awed curious at the same time and none of that made any sense to Harry.

“Don’t scare me like that,” Harry said as he jumped a little bit and then internally scolded himself for feeling more excitement that Louis had been watching him than fear. It kind of pissed him off that Louis could do that to him. What gave him that right? “And also, it’s fucking creepy that you’re just standing there staring. Stop it.”

“Language, Haz. You’ll ruin the children. And besides I’m the babysitter, you can’t tell me what to do. I can creep all I want!” His smile had turned into a playful smirk and Harry just wanted to kiss the cheekiness right off of him, except not because he wasn’t allowed to have those thoughts, he scolded himself for the millionth time that night.

Forcing himself out of his Louis filled daze, Harry realized that they were the only ones around. “Where’s Gemma?” He asked, hoping she was somewhere close by so that he wasn’t going to be alone with Louis for much longer. He didn’t know if he could handle being in this close proximity with that perfect face without folding in on himself, or worse jumping on Louis and not letting go until he agreed to love him back.

Louis laughed, oh that gorgeous laugh, and said, “She’s outside on the trampoline. That’s actually why I came back here. She’s requested both of us join her. I figured as long as it got her out of my lap, I was up for it. I think your sister fancies me, mate.”

‘Oh my fucking gosh, Louis did not just wink at me.’ Harry screamed to himself in his head. But he had. He had fucking winked. Louis Tomlinson had just winked at Harry Styles. What was the world coming to?

Trying to keep some semblance of coherency, Harry retorted as cheekily as he could, “Once again, fucking creepy.”

“I guess being around you just brings out the worst in me, Haz.” Another wink.

‘No,’ Harry thought as they walked towards the backyard where they would shortly join Gemma jumping on the trampoline and Harry would stare at every inch of Louis Tomlinson as he bounced on the black surface, hair flying every direction, shirt riding up just enough so Harry could see a sliver of incredibly toned stomach, eyes sparkling with energy exertion and laughter, where Harry would basically fall in love with the boy all over again, ‘there’s no way that Louis is flirting with me. No way in fucking hell.’

But, god, it had seemed so real. His heart was racing.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gemma can you not.

“Pink! I want pink!” Louis called out to Gemma as she trotted back inside the house to get them the popsicles she’d promised. Harry was pretty sure she was doing it to impress their gorgeous guest, but whatever. It got him a popsicle so he was okay with it.

He’d come to the conclusion that it didn’t bother him if Gemma was crushing on the same boy he was. Louis wouldn’t act on it anyway because if he did, he would go to prison. Simple as that. It eased his mind quite a bit.

“I told you, Haz, you’re sister’s got a crush on me!” Louis joked.

They were both laying on the trampoline, tired from having jumped for twenty minutes straight. They were still trying to catch their breaths.

Louis was propped up on his side, hand under head, facing Harry but Harry stayed staring up at the sky. The stars were out and they were nice. Besides, he couldn’t look at Louis without probably popping a blood vessel (or a boner, he thought) and so he stayed on the opposite side of the trampoline, both hands behind his head, looking up.

“Yeah, I’m starting to sense it,” Harry rolled his eyes, letting out a laugh that probably held some annoyance. So maybe he wasn’t completely over the fact that someone else liked Louis, even if it was his little sister.

He guessed he must have sounded as annoyed as he felt because Louis said, “Aww, come on Harry you don’t have to be jealous about it.” 

Harry whipped around so fast, he swore his head almost came unscrewed. What had he just said? Oh god, did Louis know? Was he being that obvious? Was it time to go dig a hole, jump inside and live there forever?

Then Louis winked and flashed him that perfectly beautiful joking smile that was so famous to Harry and some of the tension melted away. Well that was good wasn’t it? Louis had only been joking. There was no way he could know just how truly jealous Harry really was.

Even through his relief, Harry still couldn’t think of anything to say. What words do you say at a time like this, when you’re not so casually lying on a trampoline with the man of your dreams and he’s being entirely too charming?

So instead of saying anything at all, Harry did the first thing that came to his mind; he picked up a handful of the dry leaves that had fallen onto the trampoline from the trees above, crunched them up in his hand so they wouldn’t be too floaty, and threw them at Louis. Louis obviously hadn’t realized what was happening until right before they hit his face; his eyes got comically wide and his mouth flew open which only made the situation worse for him. He was spitting out bits of leaf and shaking his head like a dog, trying to get all the pieces out of his hair – there really had been an awful lot of leaf. That’s when words came back to Harry, and of course they were all cheeky.

“Aww, Louis it looks like someone messed up your perfect hair!” He said mockingly through his laughter. “You might have to go spend a couple of hours fixing it in the loo.”

“You are such an absolute bastard, Harry Styles.” 

And then he attacked.

It happened in slow motion. One second, Louis was still laying on his side and the next he was literally leaping over the gap between them. If Harry hadn’t been so shocked and completely terrified, he would have had the brain capacity to wonder how that was even possible; it hadn’t even looked like he moved! He was just all of a sudden flying across the trampoline like a bat or something equally horrifying.

A strangled screech came out of Harry’s mouth as Louis landed on top of him and the stretchy black material beneath them gave way. They both began to bounce, not very high, but enough for Harry to bump and rub up against Louis in a way that sent that same electricity from earlier into his brain; he didn’t even have the opportunity to be embarrassed about the girly screams coming out of his mouth.

Because then came the tickling. There was no time to react. He had the awful revelation that it was coming a half second before it started because this is what Louis used to do to him on his trampoline. Tickle him until he almost peed himself. (He actually had peed himself once before, but oh god that was embarrassing and Harry did not want to think about it, especially not when he was fighting the same urge right this second.)

Laughing, desperate for breath and trying to shove the shorter boy off of him, Harry managed out of his mouth, “Louis get the fuck off me!” but he knew it was futile, and he wasn’t even sure Louis could understand him with as breathless as he was.

Apparently he’d been heard though, because Louis continued tickling him, unrelentingly and said “You started it! I’m not getting off until you surrender!”

Louis was laughing too and inside Harry was on fire with happiness.

He’d missed Louis’ laugh so much and he hadn’t even realized it until right now; it was like his laugh was a balm, covering up the burns the fire inside him was producing. He absolutely couldn’t get enough. If he had to keep being tickled forever, he would take it just so he could see this boy hovering over top of him with the most breath taking smile in the universe.

In this moment of them just laughing and being friends again, Harry forgot about any sort of awkwardness that was supposed to exist between them because of his crush. They were just Harry and Louis, being silly like they always used to be together. And Harry could really appreciate the reason why he had fallen in love with the boy who was still attacking him in the first place.

Louis was perfect. The way he so easily joked and got along with everyone around him. The way he genuinely cared about other people, cared about Harry, even when he didn’t have to. The way his smile always reached his eyes, causing the most beautiful explosion of happiness to have ever been witnessed by human eyes. It went beyond the good looks - because there were definitely good looks - and went straight to his heart. Louis had the biggest, most stunning and open heart of anyone Harry had ever seen or known.

Harry was in love with Louis Tomlinson; there was nothing he could do about it, and there was nothing he wanted to do about it. In this moment, his feelings were sound and confident. He knew his feelings for the boy more than likely couldn’t be reciprocated, but that wouldn’t stop Harry cherishing what Louis had allowed him to feel and for that he was grateful.

After his epiphany, Harry suddenly got a devious idea. He was taller and probably stronger than Louis and he could use that to his advantage.

“I’m sorry Louis, but you asked for this,” Harry said as he swiftly rolled his weight over so he was on top of Louis. It hadn’t taken much effort, Louis hadn’t even put up a fight. He was just laughing that amazing laugh of his and was now staring up at the curls that were dangling over him.

He’d intended to start tickling Louis back, but all intentions flew out the window as he realized that he was straddling this angel and that both of them had at some point stopped laughing and now they were just looking at each other. Making eye contact. Really long, really intense, really fucking scary eye contact. 

But he couldn’t make himself look away. He was lost in those oceans, drowning in the waves that were crashing over him. And the fact that Louis seemed just as riveted made Harry’s heart start to thrash in his chest, trying to force its way out of his ribcage.

He wasn’t nervous, but he was a little bit scared. Because his inhibitions seemed to disappear beneath the roaring waves surrounding Harry and he suddenly wanted nothing more than to crash his lips against the older boy’s beneath him and that just really wasn’t something that was okay to be feeling. It scared him because he couldn't stop himself.

He felt his face lowering down, dipping closer to Louis’ but at a rate that was so slow, he didn’t know if he would ever get there.

When his face was less than a foot away from the one beneath him, he felt Louis’ breath hitch and that drove Harry crazy, he almost lost control of the situation right then and there because holy shit Louis' breath had just hitched and that was not something that he saw ever day. It also made him snap back to reality and his eyes widened in horror as he realized what he was about to do.

Had his mind been taken over by the devil??

Before he was even able to pull away in embarrassment, he heard the door to the house open and then slam shut, signaling the arrival of his sister with the popsicles. Harry rolled off of Louis as fast as he could, hoping against hope that the red flush of his face couldn’t be made out through the dim outdoor lights by Louis or his sister.

His mind was on sensory overload. He barely registered Gemma’s flirting (There was only one pink one left, Louis, but I want you to have it. *fluttering eyelashes*) What had come over him? He had almost kissed Louis Tomlinson! Was he looking for a punch in the face? Because if TV and the internet had taught him anything over the years, it was that straight guys usually didn’t take too kindly to being hit on by gay ones.

But then why had Louis’ breath hitched? Was it... was it anticipation? No, it couldn't have been, it was impossible. It had to have been some reaction of disgust, it was the only thing that made sense. God, he couldn’t even bring himself to look over in Louis' direction, he didn’t want to see the look of revulsion that had to be plastered on his face. He didn’t think he could handle that on top of his scorching embarrassment.

The younger boy jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder - he really needed to stop being so jumpy, holy shit - and he turned to see Louis’ face beside him. The only sign of recognition of what had happened a minute earlier was shown in the mildly blown away look in his eyes. What did that even mean? Harry didn’t want to know.

“Haz, come on, we’re gonna go eat our popsicles on the hammock.”

Haz. Louis was still calling him Haz. And he looked… too normal to be disgusted by what had just happened. Harry supposed it could have been him covering up his true feelings while Gemma was around so as not to scare her, and he finally settled on that explanation. It was the only logical one.  
Harry just couldn’t bring himself to go sit on the hammock with his little sister and the guy he had just tried to kiss (oh god, just thinking about it made it worse) because he had never been more ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed, angry at himself… basically, you name it, Harry was it.

“ImgoodIthinkIllstayhere,” Harry spat out as quickly as possible. Louis, for some unbeknownst reason, looked a little upset and just nodded his head before heading over to the hammock where Gemma was already comfortably situated.

Harry lay back down in the middle of the trampoline and put his arms over his face. This was too much. His acceptance of his feelings from before disintegrated and he realized how stupid his feelings were. How stupid he was.

He lay on the trampoline like that for almost half an hour, contemplating how best to never show his face in public again and also wishing he would have just kissed Louis while he had the chance. At least then he would have gotten something out of this. It didn’t seem fair that he had been so close and yet so far from what he’d always wanted. The image was going to haunt him for the rest of his life and he would never know what it felt like...

Eventually, he knew his pity party was going to have to end, and it came all too soon when Louis appeared and told Harry that Gemma wanted her brother to go put her in bed. Harry felt his face flush and he curtly nodded and hopped off the trampoline, avoiding any kind of contact with the other boy; it was so hard for him, especially when all Harry wanted to do was throw Louis down on the trampoline and not let him up until his lips were swollen with kisses.

Gemma was waiting for him at the door, looking extremely unhappy. It threw Harry off a little bit, but he figured it was probably just a girl thing he didn’t understand.

He glanced back once before entering the house and saw Louis had gone back to the hammock as was laying down. He did a poor job of hiding the sigh that came out of his mouth at the sight.

Five minutes later, Gemma was dressed in her nighty and tucked in underneath her covers. She had a really sad look on her face now which worried Harry. He sat on the edge of the bed and held his sister’s hand.

“What’s wrong, Gem?” Harry asked. She looked up at him with the most innocently hurt eyes Harry had ever seen. Okay, this was really starting to concern him.

“It’s… well… have you ever liked someone?” Gemma asked. “Like… like liked someone?” This started to raise Harry’s suspicions… surely not… this couldn’t be about…

“Yeah, I suppose I have,” Harry answered cautiously.

“And have they ever not liked you back?”

This was not happening. His 7 year old sister was not about to complain to him about her crush on Louis Tomlinson. He refused to accept it.

“Yeah, Gem, I know what that’s like. Who are you talking about?” Harry asked almost callously. He didn’t want to hurt his sister’s feelings, but he also didn’t want to think about Louis or liking him when he was trying to recuperate from his humiliation.

Gemma looked a little scared when she looked up at her brother, like she was unsure of whether she should respond or not. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” she asked, her lower lip trembling. Harry pinky swore.

“Well it’s… it’s… L-louis.” She finally stuttered out.

Of course it was. And now he had to be the responsible adult and give her advice on not liking Louis. Because he was so the expert on that topic.

“Love, he’s twelve years older than you. It’s almost impossible for him to like you back.” He knew that wasn’t much of an explanation for a 7 year old girl, so he tried to continue.

“It’s nothing personal….” Yeah, that didn’t do much to cease her sadness either.

“Look, Gem, you’re still my angel. I’ll always love you. Louis is just… a little bit too old. It would never work,” he said, playing with her brown hair that was curling at the bottom like his did.

And then she started crying. Holy shit, what had Lou done to his sister to make her act like this?

“It’s not even that, Haaaarry. He said he d-doesn’t like… he doesn’t l-like g-g-girls.” Gemma wailed.

What the fuck. What had she said? Why would she say something like that?

She was still sobbing, “He doesn’t like me because I’m a girl and he likes b-boys. It’s not my fault that I’m not a boy, Harry, and I just like him so mu-u-uch! I don’t know how to stop, he’s so p-preeeeeetty!” She howled and tears were streaming down her face.

Harry felt like he’d been hit by a ton of bricks. He knew his little sister would never lie to him, but he also was convinced that she had to be making it up. Maybe Louis had put her up to it or something just to mess with him.

No, that was stupid; Gemma would never do something like that to him. She may have been an annoying prat sometimes, but she was an annoying prat that loved her brother more than anything in the world. That only left one explanation.

Louis was gay. 

And Harry had tried to kiss him earlier.

And Louis’ breath had hitched.

Holy shit.


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's gettin' hot in here so let's break all the hammocks.

When Harry’s brain finally started functioning again, he hugged Gemma and told her everything would be okay and she had eventually stopped crying and fallen asleep. 

Now he was standing in front of his back door, hand on the knob just… waiting. He’d been there for about 5 minutes. He was psyching himself up, trying to think of something – anything – clever and witty and adorable to say and make Louis fall in love with him because that could be a possibility now and he was feeling extremely overwhelmed and more than a little bit nauseous.

When he realized he wasn’t making any headway standing there, he took a deep breath, counted to ten and forced himself to walk out the door. It was one of the hardest things he’d ever done, but he felt like if he could at least get outside, something would happen. He didn’t know what, but it would be something. Everything starts with the first step, he reasoned, thinking how cliché he was sounding.

Louis was still laying on the hammock and Harry’s stomach started flipping and fluttering; he looked incredible, stretched out with his long legs crossed at the ankles, completely relaxed – the opposite of Harry. It struck Harry just how much he wanted Louis to like him… more than he’d ever wanted anything in the world.

“I can feel you staring at me, Styles.” Louis’ infectious voice permeated his thoughts.

Shit. Harry felt like a deer caught in headlights.

“You should really work on that, you’ve been doing it all night.” Double shit! So he hadn’t been as subtle as he’d been trying to be… actually, who was he kidding? He hadn’t been trying at all. It was no wonder Louis had caught him. He was sure all the blushing hadn’t helped either.

Harry could tell Louis was smiling though. He felt a surge of hope at that.

He still stood there staring, messing with his hands because he was nervous and he’d never been great with words. “Umm… Well… I – uh…”

Yep. He was definitely not great with words.

Luckily Louis saved him the pain of trying to articulate a sentence. He still hadn’t moved from where he was sprawled, or even looked up. “Why don’t you come over to the hammock instead of just standing there? I won’t bite.”

Harry’s face turned hot. He could immediately picture Louis biting on his lips (he’d had a lot of practice), moving down to his neck and then his wet tongue appeared and Harry had to swallow back a groan that was starting to build in his throat.

He hesitantly started walking over to the hammock, shuffling his feet and taking his sweet time. He wasn’t sure what to do when he was standing about a foot from the hammock. Louis hadn’t made any attempt to move and make room for him so he didn’t know where to sit.

It was actually quite a large hammock and Harry supposed he could sit down on the edge, but he didn’t want to risk touching Louis when he was in this unstable state. His heart was beating so hard and fast that he just knew Louis could hear it and touching the perfect boy might give him heart failure. 

He ended up just standing there, being as awkward as was humanly possible, and not saying a single word. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“You can lay down too, you know. It’s not like we haven’t both been on the hammock at the same time before.”

Louis had a point, a very good one actually. It used to be one of their favorite spots to hang out. But it still took Harry a few seconds before he could will his body to move. He gingerly sat on the edge and it moved under his weight, causing Louis to move with it. At this, Louis finally scooted over a bit and Harry took a deep breath and tried not to think too hard about the fact that he was laying next to Louis Tomlinson. And not just that, he’d been invited to do so.

Louis was still the one with all the words. While Harry’s mind may have been going a hundred miles a minute, it wasn’t producing anything near intelligible.

“Do you remember when we used to do this when we were younger?” He asked, his voice not much louder than a whisper. Louis had a perfect voice; a little bit higher than normal and so incredibly vulnerable, like the quivering music note left hovering in the air after a piano stops playing; so fragile and haunting. Harry could listen to it for hours upon hours and never get tired of it.

“I miss that. I’ve missed you, Haz.”

Harry felt his chest constrict and he stopped breathing, biting down hard on his bottom lip because he just needed to feel something right now, and the pain was sufficient. Louis was going to be the death of Harry Styles, he just knew it. His feelings were already a mess and now this beautiful boy, who may or may not be gay, was saying he missed him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Like he needed Harry.

Harry’s hands were sweating and he looked away from the sky for a second just to see Louis’ face. So fucking gorgeous…

“I, uh… I missed you too, Lou… a lot.” Harry whispered to the stars.

He was burning with the need to ask Louis, to know if what his sister had said was true, to know if he even had a real shot and he almost wanted to cry. This was everything he’d ever wanted and it seemed to be a very real possibility… but there was still the chance that once he tried to grab it – poof – it would disappear. He didn’t know if he could take that pain. Harry had to know but he how would he react if he received an answer he didn’t like so much?

It was like he could see the struggle going on in Harry. Louis was fidgeting with the bottom hem of his shirt – he really needed to stop doing that – and looked over at the younger boy inquisitively. “You’re sister told you, didn’t she?”

“Um…” This was it. ‘Make your words count, Harry.’ he told himself.

“Yeah. Yeah I guess she did…” For a bit, both of the boys were silent. It was such a breakable moment, filled with so much tension it could suffocate someone… Harry for instance. “Sooo… it’s true then?” Harry asked in the completely uncharming way of his to make absolutely sure. He felt like his words were a lot more confident than he personally was but that wasn’t saying much.

“That I’m gay?” Harry’s face colored.

The moment of truth. He felt way too hot underneath his jumper and he was sweating uncomfortably under his arms. Thank god for extra-strength deodorant. As he felt his heart racing, he realized he was making this a bigger deal than Louis seemed to be. He clearly needed a sedative of some sort because this just wasn’t normal behaviour.

“Yeah it’s true.”

He hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath. But as soon as Louis said yeah – yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Louis is gay hallelujah gay gay gay yeah – it was like a dam was broken and a gust of breath swept out of his mouth. He’d never heard a more beautiful word in all his life. Louis laughed at this, causing Harry to turn even more red, if that was possible. He hadn’t meant to make his relief so obvious.

But then Louis turned serious. His eyes softened and looked at Harry curiously. He was studying Harry and the curly haired boy just hoped he liked what he was seeing.

“Now it’s my turn to ask you a question,” Louis said. He was staring directly into Harry’s eyes and Harry was so compelled by the shimmering blue he was seeing, he couldn’t look away. He felt in his gut that this moment was important. That everything could count on this one question. He needed to prepare, go run a marathon, cook meals for the homeless, help a stranded stranger on the street, or just something to help him prepare for what this was going to feel like, but he knew that wasn’t an option, so he just swallowed thickly and nodded his head erratically.

“Were you trying kiss me earlier, on the trampoline?”

Harry’s mind froze. A part of him still cringed when he thought of the moment, but Louis in no way looked disgusted. Maybe this could be a good thing. He kept telling himself over and over ‘yes, just say YES, that’s literally all you have to say!’ but his vocal chords just weren’t working. He knew the best he could do was nod through his sweaty, cloudy daze.

So that’s what he did. He nodded his answer to Louis, never breaking eye contact and Louis nodded back at him in a sure way, like he had known the answer all along. He expected something else to come out of the older boy’s mouth… he needed something besides the brief nod that had only been confirming suspicions. But it was silent.

The silence was weighing on Harry, making Louis’ presence beside him ten times more noticeable as electricity flowed between them. This time it wasn’t pleasant. Because Harry couldn’t take the silence, it was going to crush him.

That was when he broke. He just needed to know. More than anything, he had to take this chance tonight. It had been burning at him all night, for two fucking years, and this opportunity was slapping him in the face and he had to do it, he had to see what would happen, where this could take him.

He had to know. So he asked.

“Can I… um – would it be okay if I tried it again?” Harry asked nervously, shivers running through his body.

He didn’t know how he gotten the words out of his mouth. He figured it was the pure want coursing through his body right now, or maybe some crazy, intense word vomit that took control over his mind. Whatever it was, he was grateful for it.

Every nerve in his body was on fire, and where the side of his body was touching Louis’ because of their positions on the hammock, Harry felt himself melting at the stimulation. Everything became even more heightened as he waited for an answer to the question that could make or ruin his life.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Louis nodded his head. He looked so shy, such a contrast from what Harry was used to seeing on the usually arrogant boy. But then, Harry figured, that was all probably just for show. Louis was allowing Harry to see the real, exposed him. He was going to let Harry kiss him. It didn’t get much more exposed than that.

Harry slid up a bit so he was in a better position and he touched his hand to Louis face. Louis leaned into the touch.

This is really happening. I’m really about to kiss Louis Tomlinson. I am king of the fucking world.

Little by little, Harry closed the gap between their faces. When his lips were an inch away from Louis’ perfect, pink ones, he let out one more sigh because holy shit, he was about to fucking kiss Louis fucking Tomlinson and everything has led up to this and he was dying and regenerating and dying again on the inside and this was the best day of his fucking life. Louis’ lips turned up into a smile, like he knew exactly what Harry was feeling and he was feeling it too. That smile turned Harry on much more than it should and he was done moving slowly.

Harry’s lips fell onto Louis’ and his first thought was ‘they’re so soft’. Softer than he’d ever imagined. It was a million times better than any fantasy he may have had about the boy.

Louis obviously had a lot of experience in kissing - not that Harry didn’t have any at all - and in no time, it was Louis who had taken control of the kiss. Harry felt hands tangling into his curls at the back of his head and pulling him down harder. His lips were forced open and Harry let Louis’ tongue – ‘oh god, Louis’ tongue there is definitely a tongue’ – into his mouth. Louis tasted like strawberry popsicle and Harry, timidly at first but then more boldly, let his tongue brush against Louis’ in the most delicious way.

One of his hands was still on Louis’ face and the other had worked its way to Louis’ hip, slowly feeling as much as he could.. Harry couldn’t help himself squeezing when he felt teeth biting down on his bottom lip. He also couldn’t hold in the moans that had been clawing their way out of his throat and he released them, the sounds intertwining with Louis’ panting. He squeezed the older boy harder.

His shirt had ridden up as Harry clutched Louis’ hip and he felt hot skin beneath his finger tips. That just about sent him over the edge.

God, Louis was so fucking hot and he was kissing him and touching his skin and Louis’ tongue was in his mouth and he never wanted this to stop. Some sort of primal instinct came over him and all of a sudden, Harry was no longer at Louis side, he was straddling him like he had been on the trampoline earlier. Only this time, he wasn’t going to let anything stop him from kissing this boy silly, especially not little sisters offering popsicles.

“Oh my god,” Louis breathed out, eyes rolling to the back of his head, before he was right back at kissing Harry, with more fervor than before. Harry had to agree, he shared the sentiment.

At this point, there was no hiding the fact that Harry was hard. This was everything he’d ever wanted and his dick was fucking overjoyed. It was more an accident than anything when he thrust his hips down onto Louis’. He just couldn’t control himself, not with the way that Louis’ mouth would gasp open and his sexy little body was writhing underneath him. He needed some kind of friction. So he did it again. Louis gasped again and responded, shoving his hips upwards to meet Harry’s. He was just as hard as the boy on top of him. Harry could feel it and he loved it.

Then it was just all hands, and tongues and grinding. Each time Harry ground his cock into Louis’ he felt a firework go off in his mind until all too soon, there was an entire show of fireworks and the grand finale wasn’t too far out of reach. He knew if he kept going, he was going to be able to cum just from this, just from the incredible friction that was coming from Louis fucking Tomlinson dry humping him and this was so much better than all the night’s he’d spend alone in the shower wanking himself to shitty fantasies in his head. This was real and tangible and so fucking sexy and Harry rotated his hips down onto Louis’ again and watched the older boy’s head fall backwards, leaning forward to kiss the now exposed skin. He felt himself start to suck so hard at the supple skin of Louis’ neck that he just knew there were going to be marks there when he was done.

Holy shit, he was leaving bruises made by his mouth on Louis Tomlinson. This night just couldn’t get any better.

Harry was so into Louis that he didn’t hear the creaking of the hammock that had started a few minutes back, in time with the thrusting. His hands were lost in feathery hair, pulling the perfectly chiseled face closer and closer, as his tongue was now swirling inside Louis’ hot mouth and then – snap!

The hammock broke and the two boys went tumbling down to the ground, limbs tangled in a complete mess.

After a stunned second, where both the boys just looked at each other, assessing the damage and making sure neither was seriously injured, they both burst into laughter. They laughed for several minutes, about the hammock, about the situation, about how incredibly insane this all seemed… and although it was unspoken, both of them were laughing at the fact that the incredible kiss they had just been sharing was the best one of either of their lives which made them wonder the same thing – why hadn’t they done this sooner?

Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and pulled him up, leading him inside the house. They were going back to his bedroom where he had a lock on the door and a bed that wouldn’t break underneath them.

He wasn’t finished with the babysitter just yet.


	4. Part Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry definitely was not done with his babysitter, y'all.

The door shut behind Harry and he made sure to turn the lock – nobody was going to interrupt this. This was about him and Louis and the fact that they had just kissed.

Harry took a second to just bask in that glory. He and Louis had just made out on his hammock. They broke the fucking hammock. Which, in hindsight probably wasn’t a good thing because he’d have to think of an explanation for his mum, but that didn’t even matter right now! He was fucking ecstatic! He was incredibly close to doing a victory dance but that might have killed the mood.

If someone would have told him yesterday that this would be happening, he probably would have punched them for dangling that in front of his face.

But here he was, in his bedroom, arm brushing up against Louis’; they were both trembling. This was really happening. It wasn’t being dangled in front of him, it was his for the taking.

Quickly shaking the door handle to make sure it was locked, Harry turned back to face the slightly flushed boy in front of him. Whether to drive Harry mad, or just because he was that turned on, Louis’ tongue came snaking out, running along his bottom lip, leaving a glistening trail that Harry desperately wanted to follow.

The tongue did it. Harry couldn’t wait anymore. He’d had two fucking years worth of staring at Louis and he was tired of waiting. Tired of pushing aside his feelings and watching Louis kiss other people besides him. It was his turn now.

Harry grabbed Louis and pulled him in, crashing their lips against one another’s.

”Ow!” They both cried out as they accidentally knocked their teeth together; but they didn’t seem to care that much as they brought themselves back together and let their lips meld.

Louis had the softest, most delicate lips in the world and Harry’s strong ones easily covered them. In no time at all, both the boys were panting again and Louis’ mouth was at Harry’s throat which was letting out weird humming noises he hadn’t known he could make.

Harry felt hands moving down his torso, and coupled with the sensations of the tongue currently flat against his neck, he stepped backwards out of sheer intensity. Louis following him, hands still on his chest. And then Harry felt his head smack into the door behind him.

“Fuck!” Harry let out as he broke away from Louis completely for a few seconds. He brought a hand up to rub his head, but Louis beat him there and soon his hand was intertwined with Harry’s curls, massaging the spot where he was hurt.

“Do you know what you fucking do to me –“ Louis quickly whispered, his hot breath filling Harry’s ear and clouding his brain. Harry forgot all about his head hurting. “–when you curse, Harry?”

Harry dumbly shook his head, it was all he could manage. He literally felt like he was going to explode from the pure intoxication of Louis that was pumping through his veins.

As close as Louis was, he managed to get even closer, wasting no time in grinding his hips, and therefore his erection, against Harry’s thigh. Holy fuck, he was so hard. And Harry had apparently done that to him.

It occurred to Harry for about two seconds that maybe this was moving too fast. After all, only an hour ago he hadn’t even been sure if Louis was gay and now they were making out and rubbing themselves against each other like the horny teenagers they were. But Harry threw caution into the wind, reminding himself that this is the thing he’d been wanting for far too long and now it was being offered up to him on a silver platter. He would be a fool to pass it up.

Obviously, he wanted more than anything for this to turn into something real between the two of them… to turn into a relationship. But if he was being logical, Louis was in Uni and there were no promises that he would want to be with someone who wasn’t. Harry would take what he could get.

He couldn’t control himself groaning at the feel of Louis’ cock through those fucking red pants that just needed to be ripped off of his perfect body. And then he felt hands pulling at the hem of his shirt, finger tips roaming over his abdomen, and Louis was looking up at him, questioning whether this was okay.

‘Oh yeah Louis, rub your dick on me but then ask permission to take my shirt off, that makes a lot of fucking sense.’ Harry thought. Out loud he said, “Yeah ‘s fine.” And in one swift movement, the fabric covering his torso was gone.

Harry pulled Louis in tight with both arms around his waist and his tongue was back in its rightful place – Louis’ mouth. He wanted to stand here like this forever, kissing Louis and holding him tight. But his with all the blood rushing downwards, he could tell his dick had other plans.

He started walking Louis backwards until they found the bed and fell back onto it, never breaking their lips apart.

It bothered Harry immediately that he had on less clothing than the boy currently beneath him and so he reached down and shoved his hands under Louis shirt, hoping he would take the hint that the flimsy excuse of a shirt needed to be gone, asap.

Louis complied and for the moments when he had to pull away from the kiss, Harry’s lips felt so lonely. He didn’t think his mouth would ever feel right again after this unless it was attached to Louis’ and the thought hurt his heart because he probably wouldn’t have that comfort in the future. He didn’t want to dwell on that now though. He could be sad another night but tonight was for pleasure and happiness.

When his shirt was gone, Harry took a moment just to look. After all, it couldn’t hurt. What he saw blew his mind. He’d seen Louis shirtless before at the pool or when they would stay at each others houses, but never this intimately. Never while his eyes were darker than he’d ever seen them and his chest was heaving from the exertion of kissing. In this moment, Harry had never seen him look so perfect. God he just looked so –

“Gorgeous…”

He hadn’t meant to actually say it, but after it was out he couldn’t bring himself to overly care. Louis had to already know how beautiful he was. This wouldn’t be any sort of news to him.

Louis’ eyes softened and the most heartbreaking sadness spread to his face. Harry became confused and started to panic; was it something that he’d said? That he’d done? He didn’t ever want Louis to look sad like this again. He would do absolutely anything if Louis could always have that beautiful toothy smile on his face.

The feather-haired boy looked like he was struggling to find words. Finally he muttereed, “You… you think I’m gorgeous?”

That was what really broke Harry’s heart. Stomped on it, tore it to pieces, lit it on fire and threw it off a cliff to toss and turn in vicious waves, never to be found again. Louis sounded so timid, his voice even more fragile than normal, and he looked almost scared.

And that just pissed Harry the fuck off.

Had nobody ever told this fucking boy how gorgeous he was?! That he was the most heavenly being to ever step foot on the planet? Gorgeous, beautiful, flawless, stunning, handsome, dazzling, all of these words applied to Louis and then more and he was looking up at Harry like he was scared to believe it. Like if he did, even for a second, Harry would laugh at his stupidity, get up and leave him there to rot.

How had Harry never realized how broken Louis was before? The strong front he put up had crumbled and now Harry saw that even though Louis was so purely good, people had hurt him in the past, made him believe he is so much less than he is. He didn’t know who or how or why… But how could anybody in the world live with themselves after breaking this perfect boy?

Harry brushed his thumb across Louis’ cheek, trying to put as much emotion into the touch as possible. He wanted Louis to feel loved.

“Louis, I know you’re gorgeous. I’ve known you were gorgeous from the first moment I met you,” Harry confessed.

All the urgency from before was gone. Now all Harry wanted to do was show this boy, this crazy beautiful boy, that he was perfect. And that he meant what he said when he told him he was gorgeous.

As tenderly as Harry possibly could, Harry brushed his lips over Louis’. It was a ghost of a kiss, barely there and light as a feather, but it was one of the most intimate and erotic things he’d ever done in his life. Their breaths intermingled and Harry could taste the traces of popsicle that was still there. 

He began placing feather light kisses on Louis’ cheeks, He trailed his kisses down to right where his jaw and neck met. Harry slipped his tongue out and teased the spot with the tip. Seeing how it affected Louis when the boy closed his eyes and shivered, he did it again with more attention. Louis’ skin tasted faintly of salt and Harry found it much more wildly attractive than he should have.

Harry licked his way up to Louis’ ear and then nipped at the lobe because why the fuck not; he just wanted to make this boy feel as amazing as possible and even though he didn’t have much experience with it, he had a general idea of what would feel good and what wouldn’t.

He brought their lips back together and let Louis have control of the kiss while his hands were trailing down the older boys torso. His skin was so soft that Harry just wanted to rub his face on it but he figured that wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe another time.

When his hands reached the top of those red pants, Harry felt his hands tremble for the first time out of nervousness.

This was uncharted territory. He’d never been this far with anyone before, let alone a guy. But this wasn’t just any guy… it was Louis. Harry trusted Louis because, well, he was fucking Louis. And he was just as vulnerable as Harry was right now. That gave Harry the courage it took to put his hands on the button and pop it open.

Louis spoke up quietly, fluttering his eyes open, “Harry, you don’t have to do that.” He was verbally saying no, but the breathy quality of his voice and hooded eyes spoke a different story. Why was he trying to stop this?

It occurred to Harry that Louis was most likely always the one giving in any kind of ‘relationships’ he held. He probably wasn’t used to having somebody want to worship every inch of him like Harry did and that sent another surge of anger through him. Someone needed to take care of Louis for once.

“You really have no idea how much I want to do this, Lou,” he said, pressing another kiss onto those cotton candy lips. Louis still looked a little unsure, so Harry decided to pull out his cheekiness to see if that worked instead.

“Just because you’re the babysitter doesn’t mean you have to do all the work tonight, Lou.” And this time it was Harry that winked.

There it was. That smile. It should win all the fucking awards.

Harry got his mind back on track and remembered what he was in the process of doing. He unzipped Louis’ pants and felt a shudder underneath his hands. For a second, Louis looked like he was going to try and stop the younger boy again, but Harry spoke out before he could.

“Just let me do this for you. Please,” he whispered, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth as intimately as possible. He could do that for now and he was going to take advantage of it. It took a few grueling seconds, but eventually Louis was nodding and Harry could tell he was trying very hard to relax under his touch.

Harry slipped his hands beneath the waistband of Louis’ boxers very slowly. He was still a little bit nervous.

“I’ve never… uh… done this before so…”

“That’s okay, Harry. I trust you.”

That was all he needed. He trusted Louis and Louis trusted him. This probably wasn’t going to be perfect, but it was going to be special in an entirely different way. Because Harry loved Louis and he was going to show him that. Louis might not love him back, but for right now his trust when he had obviously been hurt in the past was enough.

Harry wrapped his hand around Louis’ cock and oh god, he nearly let go immediately because he had imagined this so many times and now it was real and it was really happening. He kept saying that over and over because he couldn’t get over the fact. And Louis’ length just felt so good when Harry had his long fingers on it.

Louis groaned at the contact and Harry realized that he needed to do more than just hold it there. Because that was just awkward. He shook himself out of his shock and started to cautiously pump his fist up and down, testing the waters.

It really wasn’t much different from what he would do to himself. He guessed that was just a perk of being gay… unintentional experience from wanking.

It didn’t take long for Harry to become frustrated when Louis’ damn red pants got in the way of him pleasuring the guy he was so in love with.

“Louis, these fucking pants are going to have to come off,” Harry whispered. He knew the ‘fucking’ wasn’t necessary, but he also knew Louis liked it. He could tell by the way the older boy hardened even more in his hand.

Louis arched his back, lifting himself up, and allowed Harry to slide the tight pants down over his ass and off of his perfect legs. All that was left covering him were his boxers. Harry could see the outline of the older boy straining against the fabric and his stomach clenched because he was so close.

Hesitantly, Harry palmed Louis’ bulge and he couldn’t bite back the groans his body produced from the action. Louis hissed at the contact and bucked up into the hand on his groin. This wasn’t enough. Without even thinking about it, Harry tugged at the waistband of the boxers and then Louis was lying completely naked on his bed. 

His heart quickened as he raked his eyes up and down Louis’ perfect body, taking in the birthmark low on his left hip, the bruise on his shin that he probably got from being clumsy, the way his eyes were shining like sunlight and looking at Harry with what could only be insecurity.

Harry sighed internally; Louis would never know just how beautiful he was and that made him so sad. Without really thinking about it, without worrying about a few weeks from now when Louis would go back to Uni and probably forget about his existence, he decided to make it his mission to make Louis believe, even just a little bit, that he was worth every good thing in the world.

Once more, Harry caressed the soft face of the older boy and Louis’ eyes fluttered under the attention. Placing a quick, firm kiss on his lips, Harry began shifting down Louis’ body, keeping his face close to the skin below him. He didn’t let his lips touch like they so badly wanted, but instead let his breath ghost over the tanned stomach. Harry smiled a little when he saw goosebumps appear on the affected skin.

As Harry reached where he wanted to be, he suddenly felt some panic flair inside of him. Before, that had been just like what he would do to himself in a horny situation. But this… this was where the unintentional practice didn’t apply. In a moment of weakness, Harry almost quit; he could go back to using his hands, it would have the same ending either way. And besides, Louis had said it wasn’t necessary. That was pretty much permission to not carry through.

But then Harry looked up at Louis’ perfect face, contorted in anticipation with his lip clamped down beneath his teeth, like the sensations Harry had been eliciting from his breath alone were driving him mad. And that was it. Any doubts he had were gone. He couldn’t believe himself and the fact that he had almost given up on Louis because of his own insecurities. He was such a prick.

Without warning (to Louis, or to Harry because Harry’s mind sort of started acting of its own accord – he no longer seemed to have complete control over it), Harry’s tongue left his mouth to trail along the vein which was so prominent, running on the curve of Louis’ length.

A sound gurgled in Louis’ throat and Harry also let out an incredible noise because he hadn’t known what to expect, but this wasn’t it.

It was so much better. Louis tasted and smelled just like he imagined sex would; heady and thrilling and with a slight hint of sweat mixed in and Harry got lost in it. Before he knew it, he took the head into his mouth, closing his lips and experimenting by sucking like he would on a lollipop – or a popsicle, his mind teased him. Louis’ moans let him know that what he was doing had to be a good thing.

Feeling braver and his confidence raised from the unbelievable sounds coming out of lovely pink lips, Harry took more of Louis into his mouth. He kept using the popsicle trick, hollowing out his mouth and sucking upwards, which caused Louis to gasp and thrust his hips forward, pushing his dick to the back of Harry’s throat.

Immediately, the younger boy began to choke from the sudden contact. He began coughing and Louis snapped his eyes open, pushing his hair that was now matted by sweat against his forhead out of his eyes, and he pulled himself out of Harry’s mouth. 

”I’m so sorry, Haz, I didn’t mean to do that!” His eyebrows were knit together in intense worry and Harry wondered how this had happened. He had just been having the time of his life, sucking off the most beautiful boy to ever exist and now, just because of a single mistake, Louis was acting like it was the end of the world. It hadn’t even been that bad, really, he just wished he would have had some warning. If he had been ready for it, he might not have minded feeling Louis totally and completely in his mouth, tasting every inch of him and sucking every last drop of cum out until it was running down the back of his throat… okay, so he really needed to get Louis to cooperate because he couldn’t hold on much longer.

“It was an accident, Lou,” Harry reasoned, touching the other boy’s chest, rubbing soothing designs with his fingers.

“But I made you choke! You were coughing!” Louis’ hand was on Harry’s face now. As worried as he looked, his hand seemed to be doing the opposite of what his mind was saying, because Harry felt himself being pulled closer, centimeter by centimeter. “And it was all my fault. I really am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

It was almost adorable the way Louis was freaking out and Harry quickly kissed him on the mouth then sitting back and seeing Louis lick his lips. “I just wasn’t expecting it. Like I said, this is my first time, I wasn’t thinking about what might happen. But I love that I could turn you on like that, Louis. It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen, you losing control like that. I love it that you filled me up, even if you caught me off guard for a second.

“And I want you to do it again.”

Louis’ eyes widened, but not just in shock. The blue irises got darker and the lust was evident in them. He was still the new, insecure Louis that he had recently discovered, but for now he was also the Louis that was starting to lose control and Harry felt his cock twitch.

Harry slid back down the tanned body and didn’t even stop to think before his mouth was filled with Louis’ dick and he wasn’t being hesitant anymore. Louis’ head was thrown back, pants escaping that perfect mouth, but Harry could tell that he was trying to restrain himself from thrusting upwards again.

He put his hands on Louis’ bare hips and squeezed as hard as he could, trying to get the point across – that Harry wanted him to let go, to be completely in the moment and feel as good as possible. At the sudden pressure, Louis couldn’t help but buck his hips forward, causing Harry to smile around his mouth full. Louis was gong to enjoy this as much as he could, one way or another.

His mouth began to move faster up and down the length, stealing groans and the most delicious pants from Louis and every time he started to feel that pressure on his throat, he prepared himself. It really wasn’t that hard (no pun intended) sucking someone off. Especially not when that someone was as sexy and now completely lost in the moment as Louis was.

While he was taking care of Louis, Harry reached down his pants with his left hand and started pulling at his own cock that was already leaking inside his boxers. Soon, it got so hard to keep any sort of rhythm between the two because he knew he was reaching the end of this spectacular fantasy come to life. He wasn’t going to last much longer, not with those noises slipping out of Louis’ lips.

Because he wanted the other boy to finish first, he added his right hand to the mix. He was still sucking – oh god he never wanted to take his mouth off of Louis ever again if that were possible– and the added sensation of his pumping fist made Louis start to writhe even more. He was getting close too, Harry could tell.

With as much vigor as he could manage, Harry popped his mouth off of Louis, fist still pumping like it was the energizer bunny, and panted out hoarsely, “Do it, Louis. Cum.”

In that moment, he had never seen anything sexier and the view of Louis’ sweaty face, twisted by desire and pleasure and sex pushed Harry beyond his breaking point. He felt the warm, sticky liquid started to course through him, onto his hand and smeared all over the inside of his boxers. He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to hold out for Louis, but that didn’t mean he was going to make the boy’s orgasm anything less than spectacular. He pulled his sticky hand out and wiped it on his pants – they were pretty much ruined anyway.

With that same husky voice, Harry whispered directly into Louis’ ear, “Cum for me, gorgeous.”

Almost a choking noise escaped Louis and it quickly turned into a low, sexy scream as Harry felt cum start to spurt onto his hand, spilling over onto the Louis’ tanned stomach, the white contrasting wonderfully with the brown. Out of curiosity more than anything, he leaned his face down and ran his tongue over the head of the spilling cock, licking up some of the white substance.

Hmm… not something he’d go out of his way to try at first, but now that he had, he could see himself acquiring a taste for the salty bitterness of it. The thought made his insides burn; he was a little ashamed that he didn’t feel ashamed for thinking that.

Pulling himself back up to Louis level, he put his arms on either side of Louis, careful not to touch his delicate, sweaty face with either of his sticky hands, and pressed the most telling kiss full of love and lingering desire and thankfulness for Louis’ existence against the boy’s lips.

“I’d better go clean up,” Harry murmured against Louis’ mouth. He didn’t want to get up after he felt so sated and just completely fucking perfect, but he knew that he would hate himself if he didn’t clean up the mess now.

“I’ll come with you,” Louis said back, leaning forward to capture the curly haired boy’s lips once more, slipping his tongue between Harry’s lips for a few seconds before pulling away and sitting them both up. When they were upright, Louis out of nowhere grabbed Harry, pulling him in with both arms into the most incredible hug he’d ever felt.

“Thank you, Hazza. You are… so perfect.”

Harry just laughed at the complete ignorance of the older boy. “You’re the perfect one, Lou. Surely you have to know that by now.” He was still smiling as he pulled the naked boy out of bed behind him and headed towards the bathroom to clean them off.

He needed a warm washcloth, some soap and a new pair of boxers so he could wash both of the off and then bring Louis back into his bed where they could cuddle and Harry could continue to try and convince Louis that he was an angel. He wanted Louis to know that Harry cared about him, not just the orgasms they’d just shared. Because Louis deserved that and so much more.


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parks, yes, parks are a good place to struggle through emotions and awkwardness.

Harry was chasing Louis with a water gun, screaming at him, “Come back, babe! I’m not going to hurt you! Just get you a little wet!”

He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively when Louis stopped running and turned around with a huge grin on his face from what the younger boy had just said.

As Harry’s boyfriend started walking towards him with a look of hungry lust in his eyes, Harry heard a very faint banging noise from somewhere… He looked back at the blue ocean eyes of Louis but for some reason, his vision seemed to be failing him; Louis had started to become a blurry mess. Maybe it was the hot sun in his eyes?

Then he heard it again, the steady bang bang bang and this time it was louder than before. Louis continued to walk towards him, right into his embrace and as Harry wrapped his long arms around the beautiful boy in front of him, his mind started to feel fuzzy and he could feel dream Louis slipping away; he started to get feel really upset and groggy.

But as his eyes started to flutter and he realized that he hadn’t just spend a summer day messing about with Louis who also wasn’t actually his boyfriend, he could still feel something very solid in his arms… Just like in the dream.

Harry opened his eyes completely and he couldn’t stop the stupid grin that broke out on his face.

Louis was lying next to him, wrapped up in his arms. He had spent the night with Harry, in his bed. They had slept together – not in the sexual sense, but in the most beautiful way possible. As he pulled the shorter brunette in tight to his chest, Harry heard it.

The same bang bang bang from the dream, only it wasn’t from the dream… It was coming from his bedroom door and oh shit – 

–he heard his mum’s voice from the other side of the door; “Harry, open this door this instant before I unlock it and come in myself! I can’t find Louis anywhere and I’m going to be very upset if he left before I returned. I paid him to be here all night!”

Harry jerked his head down to see that both he and Louis were wearing nothing but boxers and shit shit shit he had a not so little morning problem that he really didn’t want his mother to see.

This was bad. This was very, very bad.

Flinging himself off the bed, Harry quickly and actually quite roughly shook the still sleeping person on his bed but the only response he got was a grunt and a slap to the hand as Louis rolled over and pulled the covers over his head. He clearly was not aware that Harry’s mother was mere feet away from them and if she walked in on them, she would probably flip her shit.

“Louis, wake up. Wake up now!” Harry whispered urgently into his ear before turning on heel and looking for the pants he had been wearing last night. Now where had those gone?

He found them in a heap on the floor at the end of the bed and began shimmying them up his long legs.

“Harry Edward Styles, I’m coming in right now!”

This time she had forgone knocking and Harry could hear the key being placed into the lock on the other side of the door. It was like the fear and dread inside of him made him frozen and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t move; his body wouldn’t let him. And he still hadn’t even managed to button his pants.

A look of utter horror was smeared across his face, he knew, and he honestly had no clue what to do in this situation. He prayed to whatever divine being might be listening that Louis would just stay quiet and asleep under the blanket he had tucked himself underneath and his mum would never know he was there, would never ask the questions that he knew would come if she found them like this, would never find out the completely indecent things the two boys had done together on that very bed the night before.

It went down like in a horror movie; the door swung open much slower than it should have and creaked on the hinges. And then Anne was standing in the middle of the doorway looking incredibly intimidating, albeit without an axe to murder everyone. All that was missing was the serial killer music.

And of course Harry, being the wordsmith that he was, muttered out nervously with the stupidest terrified smile on his face, “Hi mum, back early? Beautiful day, innit?”

His mum looked at him like he was being strange – which he was, he would totally admit – and spoke, “Yes, I suppose it is.”

She paused and looked around the room. Her gaze stopped on a pair of crumpled pants that looked like they had been carelessly tossed onto the floor. Harry’s face burned. Louis’ red fucking pants. There was absolutely no mistaking them for a pair of Harry’s and he knew that she knew exactly whose they were by the look that appeared in her eyes.

She brought her gaze back up to her son’s. He was royally fucked.

Right when Harry was starting to think that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, Louis chose that exact moment to throw the covers off of himself, showing off his boxer clad, love bite covered body to the world, and loudly complaining that he needed to take a piss.

“And thanks so much for waking me up so early, you sexy piece of shit.”

Yep. Royally fucked in the ass. And definitely not in the good way.

***************************************

‘At the swings. Meet me here? –Harry’

Harry sent the text from his perch on the neighborhood’s park appliance. He usually came here by himself to get away from Isaiah and Gemma when they were being insufferable twats but it was the perfect place to meet someone when you wanted some privacy. Especially considering it was still only8 amand nobody else would be awake.

Harry yawned and his phone buzzed with a quick ‘Yeah see you in 5 -Lou’. He shoved it into his pocket and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, inevitably thinking about that morning.

It had been awful, but not quite as awful as it could have been, Harry supposed. Well, his mum hadn’t seemed angry at any rate.

He sighed deeply while running a hand through his unruly curls, remembering the way Louis had frozen in shock at the sight of his friend’s (Friends? Could they really consider each other just friends now? Harry shook his head, deciding that was a conversation for another time. Or never.) mum walking in on them in that precarious position. His blue eyes had widened in panic and he started moving his mouth but no words had come out. He was like a fish out of water. It would have been adorable if Harry hadn’t been feeling the exact same bitter panic.

“Oh. Ohhhh.” Her eyes had become impossibly wide as understanding seemingly dawned on her.

“Um. Hi, Louis. I was just uh – Well I…” The awkwardness was unbearably painful. He could see his mum’s mind racing behind her eyes, jumping to all sorts of conclusions about what had happened between the two teen boys, some of which were undoubtedly true.

“I’m, uh, going to the kitchen. Make some coffee… Yes, definitely need some coffee.” She’d left the two boys staring at each other, wide eyed and speechless. Harry had expected anger and screaming, not the reaction he had just received. Louis looked just as confused as he was.

The boys had thrown their clothes on as fast as they could and Harry had watched as Louis rushed out the front door squeaking a quick “Later, Ms. Cox.” and leaving Harry to shuffle to the kitchen and face the music on his own.

Now, sitting on this swing in the chilly morning air, Harry waited for the boy he was in love with to arrive. He couldn’t help but run through the events of last night in his mind because those were so much more vivid than the memories of this morning… and they also didn’t make him nauseous which was a definite plus.

It had been so hot and amazing for him. He had never in his life been more turned on and the feeling of Louis underneath him had pushed him so far passed sanity. He hoped it had been the same for Louis as well.

But beyond that, he had felt like they really connected. Like they understood each other a little bit more after the magic that had been last night. Both of their guards had been down and Harry felt like he really knew Louis now, much more than he had when they had been friends all that time ago.

He felt something tugging at his heart that he was trying his best – and failing – to ignore. Simply put, it was sadness. If Louis hadn’t wanted nothing to do with the younger boy who would be completely insignificant to him in University, he certainly wouldn’t after this morning. It had been much too embarrassing for both of them. The older boy wouldn’t want any part of that and really, Harry couldn’t blame him.

He kind of just hoped he’d get one more chance to kiss Louis’ perfectly shaped lips with his own but even that was a long shot. He was lucky last night had even happened at all.

He sat there, letting the faint breeze push him back and forth, trying to convince himself that the memories would be enough. They wouldn’t.

At that moment his phone buzzed.

‘I see you ;)’

His heart tugged a little bit more. Did Louis really have to make this harder on him by being his usual flirty self? Harry looked up from his swing and could see shaggy hair walking towards him.

Louis looked incredible. The black skinny pants he was wearing were tight in all the right places. The thick grey sweater that buttoned up on the side made him look incredibly fit and the beanie atop his messy hair looked so cute, it made Harry die a little inside.

But the thing that did it – that really made Harry lose it – were the square framed, black glasses currently balanced right on thebridgeofLouis Tomlinson’s perfect nose. Nobody should be allowed to look attractive in glasses. It was like a rule of physics or something; surelyNewtonhad come up with a law for this.

Then Perfection spoke shortly and sweetly. “Hi, Harry,” he chimed out. Louis had the most charming half smile on his face as he sat down on the empty swing next to the younger boy who was having trouble controlling his breathing.

“Hi,” he managed to force out breathily, turning his head a few inches and training his glance on those glasses. The blue of Louis’ eyes still shone out strongly beneath them.

For a few moments, it was so silent that each time the chains of one of the swings were blown in the wind, it sounded like glass shattering. Both of the boys were afraid to speak in case what they said was the wrong thing. It made Harry hate that this morning had happened the way it had. Maybe if his mum had come later, had let them wake up on their own and deal with, well, whatever this thing was between them, would be different. It wouldn’t be so awkward and fragile and scary right now.

Harry decided it had better be him to start the conversation, since he was the one who asked Louis to show up in the first place.

“So, uh… this morning was fucking awkward, right? Or was that just me?” He asked to break the ice, running his hand through his curls. Louis was making him nervous by being this close to him. Which made absolutely no sense considering he had been sucking him off last night and he hadn’t even been acting this nervous then, but whatever.

‘Don’t think about that Harry, you will literally fall over and die of a heart attack.’

Louis chuckled, “I’m gonna go with mildly horrifying, actually. I don’t know that I can ever look your mum in the eye again. She probably hates me now because she thinks I stole away her baby’s innocence in the night,” he looked Harry in the eye. “Am I right?”

He was still smiling, but underneath the familiar flash of teeth Harry could tell that the thought of his mum being angry upset him. Harry brushed it off though. It was nothing. Louis was just a guy who was used to being liked.

“Actually, she wasn’t mad,” Harry stated, causing Louis to look at him, surprised.

“She was a little shocked. And sat me down and gave me an absolutely excruciating talk for about half an hour about… well, I think you know what.”

Louis’ jaw was hanging open. And god, Harry could remember exactly what that mouth had tasted like when his tongue had been inside it last night.

‘Shut up, brain.’

“That’s really all she said? She just gave you the sex talk? She didn’t ban me from ever entering your house or laying eyes on you ever again?” Louis asked. Harry was almost too preoccupied to completely listen to the boy beside him because Louis’ glasses were starting to very, very slowly slide down his nose.

He shook the endearing distraction away from his mind. ‘Focus, Harry.’

“Well, I mean… She said some other stuff too… but it wasn’t, like, important or anything. Just – well, never mind, it was nothing.” 

He didn’t know why he’d even bothered bringing it up. What his mum had said had no relevance to their conversation, no matter how badly he wanted it to. He was sure Louis would scoff.

“Hazza, come on. Tell me!” Louis laughed, poking him in the side and making the younger boy laugh at the tickling sensation. “It’s not as you can make me anymore embarrassed than I already am!”

The curly haired boy rolled his eyes. Yeah, maybe it wouldn’t embarrass him, it would just make him laugh his ass off at the suggestion and Harry didn’t want to be ridiculed, thank you very much. Even Harry had thought the idea was ridiculous when his mum had brought it up. Wonderful, but ridiculous all the same.

“It’s really not important. She just said some things about, well, you and I that were… silly. Honestly, you don’t want to know, it would just make you laugh.” The curly haired boy said. He was starting to feel pressured and that made him panic because he knew that if Louis kept pushing and really wanted to know what was said, he would give in. Harry couldn’t say no to him. Louis was his own personal kryptonite.

It didn’t help that those glasses were still sliding down, just enough to be noticeable, and Louis hadn’t seemed to take any mind of it.

“I can always use a good laugh,” Louis said, eyebrows raised expectantly and a close lipped smile on his face.

And Harry couldn’t help it. Maybe it was how adorable Louis looked with his hair peeking out beneath his hat or the fact that he had no self control, or the memories of last night when all Harry saw were flashes of exposed skin and tongues caressing lips, or maybe it was all of those things put together. But when he combined that with those fucking glasses that were fucking taunting him, he didn’t know what his own body was doing anymore.

Without a second thought, he reached over to the older boy’s face and pushed the black rims up where they were belonged. His hand lingered a little bit longer than was necessary and he let his thumb stroke Louis’ pink cheek.

He let out a sigh of defeat. He might as well tell Louis what his mum had said. He didn’t really have anything to lose right now, anyway.

Turning away and looking determinedly at the sky, he forced himself to talk again, his words coming out rougher than he’d intended.

“It’s stupid, really. She asked if we were dating. Like, she thought we had some secret relationship going on or something,” Harry said, shaking his head. If that wasn’t embarrassing, he didn’t know what was.

He expected Louis to bust out laughing at the thought of them dating, but he wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t really reacting in much of any way, actually.

“Oh. Did she… did she seem upset at you about it?” Louis asked hesitantly. Harry figured he probably just didn’t know what to say because he didn’t want to make the younger boy feel bad.

At least he was being tactful and trying not to hurt his feelings. That had to mean Louis at least cared about him as a friend.

“Um, well, not exactly. I guess that’s why it’s funny. She uh… actually, she seemed pleased,” Harry was the one who released a little chuckle at this. It all seemed so ludicrous to him even though he wished it wasn’t.

“She said she always thought we would get together when we were younger. Before I had even come out to her,” he felt his cheeks start to burn at this small confession. He hadn’t meant to tell Louis this much, but it was too late to take it back now. “Sorry, I know it’s stupid and embarrassing,” he rushed out to do damage control. “I don’t take anything she says seriously anyway.”

And then it was silent again. Louis wasn’t saying anything. Harry wasn’t saying anything.

Shit, he had ruined everything and turned it into this huge, awkward mess! Why hadn’t he been able to keep his god damned mouth shut? It had been those stupid fucking glasses that had messed with his resolve, damn them to hell.

The wind was starting to blow a tiny bit harder, just enough to move his hair around annoyingly. Harry could feel that the temperature had dropped a few degrees and he pulled his jumper in a little bit tighter for warmth. Today was just shaping up to be a lovely fucking day.

Louis’ fragile voice broke through the sound of the wind but it was almost too quiet and Harry was sure he heard wrong. “I did too, you know…”

The younger brunette whipped his head around and saw Louis staring at the ground, refusing to look up. He had too? He had too what? He had thought they would be together when they were younger? No, that was all wrong. It didn’t even make any sense. Louis had had girlfriends, many of them, and he hadn’t had a problem flaunting them.

His mind was running at an insane speed and nothing seemed to be helping him come any closer to understanding.

“I don’t understand…” He knew he probably sounded retarded, but he honestly couldn’t wrap his head around what Louis had said. It still didn’t make any sense to him and it was going to drive him crazy if he didn’t ask.

Louis was now playing with the sleeve on his sweater, looking like he was trying to avoid eye contact. It was getting Harry really worked up because this situation felt like it was getting worse and worse and his stomach was tied up in knots.

“Harry, can I tell you something?” Louis asked, his voice shaking. God, Harry didn’t know what was coming, but if the weather around them that was continuing to get worse was some kind of symbolic warning sign, he knew it could only be awful.

He nodded his head and mumbled out a quick “yeah”.

“And you can’t say anything until I’m done, okay? Promise.”

What had Louis so nervous? It was really starting to eat away at him. If Louis was this nervous, than Harry was sure what he should be.

“Yeah, okay. I promise.”

“Okay…” The older boy took a deep breath and pushed those fucking glasses up that had started their sneaky decent once again. “You know, I realized I was gay when I was sixteen.”

Sixteen? But that’s when they were good friends. Louis had had girlfriends then.

Harry couldn’t help speaking up, “But all those girls –“

“Harry, you promised,” Louis warned, with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine, fine,” Harry relented.

“I realized I was gay when I was sixteen at a friend’s house. We were playing Need For Speed on his PlayStation. He looked over at me with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face when he beat me and it just felt like my heart exploded in my chest or something. All I could do was smile back at him. And it scared the ever loving shit out of me.”

Around the two boys, clouds were starting to move in and the wind had picked up but neither of them seemed to notice. Harry was too drawn into what Louis was saying and Louis still hadn’t lifted his gaze from the rocks on the ground.

“I couldn’t be gay. I was the only boy in a sea of girls and I didn’t want to be a disappointment to any of them, especially my mum. And so yeah, I dated lots of girls. I pretended to like the way they kissed me and sometimes I almost had myself convinced that I could be okay with the fake life I had.

“But when I would lie awake at night, I hated myself because that’s when I didn’t have to pretend anymore and it all came crashing down on me. I hated myself, I hated the fact that I was gay, I hated that I wasn’t changing when I wanted to so bad, I hated being so tired from pretending all the time, and I hated my beautiful best friend who had made me fall in love with him. And so I started pushing him away because I just couldn’t handle it anymore.”

At this point, the sky was turning a bitter, dark color. The boys were completely oblivious to the storm coming in though.

Harry was staring at Louis’ face. He felt like he had so much to say, how sorry he was, how he hadn’t known or he would have tried to help, he would have talked to this mystery friend for him, he would have done anything to help him get through that awful time if only he had known. But he could tell Louis wasn’t done speaking and he had made a promise, after all.

“I don’t really know what happened in Uni. Maybe it was because I got drunk a lot or just because I learned not to give a fuck. But I realized I wasn’t changing. And that I didn’t really want to in the first place. And even after three years of trying to distance myself as much as possible, I still hadn’t gotten over my friend’s smile.”

For the first time since he started talking, Louis looked up right into the younger boy’s eyes. His face was scrunched up in what looked like a mixture of pain and hesitance and sadness and also a tinge of resolution. Harry’s heart was jumping out of his chest.

“I hadn’t gotten over you, Harry.”

Everything stopped. Time, the wind, Harry’s breathing. He was frozen in time, in this exact moment. Chills ran down Harry’s spine and it wasn’t from the cold surrounding him because he couldn’t even feel that right now. All that mattered was Louis. His confession and everything that came with it. There wasn’t a word to describe what Harry was feeling. He was blank, his mind was completely empty and the only thing going on with him right now was Louis. LouisLouisLouisLouisLouis. He was drowning in Louis and the gorgeous eyes that were still staring back at him. This changed everything. He felt his entire perspective on the world shift. Louis wanted him, wanted to be with him. Holy shit, Louis wanted to be with him. They could actually be together as a couple, and he could let the whole world know how much he was fucking in love with this boy.

The moment broke when it came violently crashing down on Harry that he was being delusional. Far away in the sky, lightening came down.

“But… you’re in uni…” He felt his heart breaking as he forced himself to keep talking. He had to do this. This was because he cared more about Louis than his own feelings. It was important that he do this. “And I’m not. And I – I couldn’t do that to you Louis. I couldn’t hold you down like that. There are better things for you out there.”

It was literally painful for Harry to say these things but he did it anyway. It was all for Louis.

The older boy threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter, startling Harry. He watched as a raindrop fell from the clouds and landed on Louis’ face, but Louis hadn’t even noticed.

“Harry, if I haven’t been able to get over you when I’ve been trying for three years, what makes you think I’m ever going to be able to do it? Especially after last night? You’re supposed to be smart, Haz.” Louis was shaking his head. He had a small smile on his lips.

Harry didn’t have anything to say. He could try and deny his feelings for Louis’ sake but the truth was he didn’t want to. He couldn’t force himself to say he didn’t want to be with the perfect boy who had just confessed so much to him when it was all he wanted with every fiber of his being. So he didn’t say anything at all. But Louis did.

“Look, I know it’s weird cause I’m older and I’m not around all the time. But my campus is only an hour away and I’m usually home on weekends.” Louis’ voice started to get a desperate edge to it and Harry didn’t know if he could let that continue. Louis shouldn’t ever have to feel desperate. It hurt Harry to think see him like that.

“I know there’s no getting over you, Haz, I’ve tried. And I’m done fighting it.” His words continued to get more and more flustered as a few more raindrops fell onto him and now onto Harry as well. Louis fists were clenched and Harry could tell he was getting incredibly anxious.

“And I’d just – ugh, I’d just… really like it if you’d go out for tea with me? And then… keep going out for tea with me for a really long time?”

It was quite possibly the most adorable thing Harry had ever seen. Louis looked extremely uncomfortable and fidgety and his voice had gotten higher and higher as he’d continued to ask the boy next to him out on a date. Harry couldn’t fight the smile that popped onto his face, even as he bit down on his lip to control it.

Harry had lost. He would never say no to Louis, could never deny him what he wanted especially if what he wanted was him. And as long as Louis wanted him, Harry was his.

“Well, I’m actually grounded. Forgot to mention that earlier. Something about being irresponsible with my brother and sister around.”

Louis face fell at the rejection. Harry couldn’t help but smile more, and maybe it was wrong, but he was a little bit happy that Louis was upset about Harry not being able to go on that date.

“But-“ Louis’ eyes shot up at this. “-my mum did say that you were totally allowed to come over to my house whenever. If you want, that is.”

Harry would have to remember to thank his mum for being so god damned awesome and give her a hug. Oh, and apologize for the bitch comment.

Louis lit up like a Christmas tree and Harry did the same.

“I think I might even be able to find Need For Speed if I look hard enough,” Harry said with his brow raised and a devious smirk on his face, leaning in a little bit closer to Louis.

“I’d really like that,” Louis breathed out with the most beautiful smile that made Harry giddy. Giddy! He felt like a teenaged girl. But he really didn’t fucking care.

And as Harry leaned over the rest of the way, closing the distance and pressing his lips against Louis’, feeling the butterflies released in his stomach, the rain began to pour.


	6. Part Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry experiences his first university party and Louis takes him home. *ba dum tisss*

The last month of summer flew by in a haze of kisses and video games and Louis. Harry had never been more happy in his life. Louis was his boyfriend. His actual boyfriend. 

When the week of punishment by Anne was lifted, Louis made good on his promise to take Harry out to tea. They spend many afternoons stuffed into corners of quaint tea shops, reading magazines out loud to each other and blushing when they would take a risk and hold hands where people actually could see. And since Harry was now allowed out of his own house and didn’t have to worry about the watchful eyes of his mother at Louis’, they were also able to make good on the unspoken - but clearly there - promises to spend as much possible time attached to each other by the lips. 

But as much as Harry tried to forget about it and put it off, the day for Louis to return back to uni started approaching faster and faster, days rushing past them in a blur until the time finally arrived for Louis to move into his dorm and leave Harry behind. 

As the horrible day rolled around, Harry decided that he was going to prolong the inevitable as much as possible and go with Louis. 

He drove his mum’s car - she agreed to let him drive it after three days of constant begging - and Louis rode with him in the passenger seat while they followed behind Jay’s car. His excuse was that he wanted to be an extra set of hands to help move boxes into the dorm but really, he just wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet. 

Harry had never felt these kind of emotions - ones that overtook all of your senses and wouldn’t let you concentrate on even the simplest of tasks because they were all you wanted to think about and all you physically could think about. But he had those feelings about Louis. If he thought he’d loved Louis before, it was nothing compared to now. After a perfect month of spending every waking moment together, being apart seemed like the impossible. 

If he was quite honest with himself, Harry was a steaming wreck. His heart felt like it was going to explode at any given moment because it was so full of love and happiness and more recently bitterness and anger because there was nothing he could do to keep Louis with him. 

So he held his boyfriend’s hand as tightly as he could get away with in the car on the way to the university where he knew his heart was going to break when the word ‘goodbye’ was uttered. It took everything he had in him not to cry. 

Apparently Louis picked up on something being not quite right because about half way through the trip - which had been oddly void of conversation for the most part - he turned to look at the stony face of his younger boyfriend and muttered, “You know I’m still going to see you all the time, right? I didn’t make an effort to come home all that much last year because I didn’t have a reason to. But you’re my reason now, Harry. I’ll see you every weekend.” 

Harry sighed exasperatedly before he could stop himself and mumbled grumpily, “You don’t even have a car, Louis. How are you supposed to get there? Teleport?” 

He knew he had no right to be this snappy with Louis when he was only trying to ease the younger boys worries, especially not when it was the last time he was going to see his boyfriend in what could be a very long time. But he couldn’t help it. All the emotions he felt were welling up inside of him and all he wanted to do was turn the car around and kidnap Louis so they could continue to have romantic days holed up together playing Mario Kart or running around in his backyard, climbing trees and jumping down into the arms of whichever one of them was still grounded. He wasn’t angry with his boyfriend, he was just angry with the fucking awful circumstances trying to tear them apart.

“Well, I wasn’t going to tell you yet because it’s not 100% a done deal… but my mum knows someone who is going to sell me their old car. It’s a piece of shit, really, but I figure if I can afford it and it can take me to see you, then I’m okay with that.” 

Harry felt his grumpiness dissipate instantly and he felt horrible for ever having been upset in the first place because when had Louis ever let him down in the past? 

This was amazing fucking news. Louis was going to be able to drive to see him. All the promises of visits that had been made earlier on in the month didn’t feel so empty now. 

“It was supposed to be a surprise. I was going to tell you when I got it.” Harry felt his hand being squeezed by the older boy sitting next to him. Harry allowed himself to just take a good look at Louis - something he probably shouldn’t have done considering he was driving, but he didn’t care - and he felt his breath being taken away. He honestly didn’t know how he had ended up so lucky as to have the most gorgeous person alive as his significant other. Louis’ eyes were currently crinkled as he smiled the most dazzling smile Harry had ever seen and he swore he could physically feel it as another piece of his heart became Louis’. 

“I’m sorry for snapping at you, Lou. I’m just going to miss you so much it hurts.” Harry admitted sadly, turning back to the road ahead of them.

Louis picked up his hand and brought it to his mouth, gingerly kissing the younger boy’s knuckles and practically whispering so as not to break the touching moment, “It’s okay, Haz. I’m going to miss you too.”

And that was that. All was forgiven. That was one of the millions of things Harry loved about Louis. 

Harry reached over to the radio cd player and changed the song from Ed Sheeran’s depressing ‘U.N.I’ which had ironically come on during the mini squabble between the couple to the more upbeat ‘Grade 8’. 

Harry and Louis made the rest of the trip with smiles on their faces, fingers intertwined as tight as ever. 

*********************************************

“Bye, mum! I’ll see you soon, I promise,” Louis said as he hugged his mother for the final time and kissing her on the cheek before she tearfully shut the door of her car and drove away. Harry was standing beside him and he could tell Louis was probably as sad as his mum over her departure. 

“Come here, love.” Harry pulled Louis into a hug and Louis rested his head on his taller boyfriend’s shoulder. They just stood there like that until Louis seemed to compose himself and offered up a “Let’s go up so you can meet my roommate.”

That was one thing that Harry wasn’t completely sure about. Stan. The roommate Louis talked about sometimes. 

They had been roommates the year before and Louis seemed to think the world of him, always talking about how close of friends they had become and how Harry would love him because Stan was almost as good as he was at video games. 

It was completely unwarranted jealousy kicking in, Harry knew, but it was primal instinct and he couldn’t help it, damn it! He guessed he was just going to have meet this Stan character before he decided if he was an okay lad. Harry hoped Stan was as straight as he was gay and that his jealousy really was unwarranted. 

Harry steeled himself outside the door of Louis’ dorm room and as they walked inside he saw an average looking guy sitting at one of the desks residing in the room. 

So this was Stan. It may have been cocky of him, but in that moment Harry couldn’t help but think there wasn’t really any competition. Unless this guy was hung like a horse or something, but Harry was pretty sure he could take him in the looks department. 

Not that there was a competition in the first place, Harry reminded himself. Louis and Stan were just friends. He was Louis’ boyfriend. He had nothing to worry about.

“Hey Lou! Long time no see!” Stan said, standing up from his desk and striding over to give Louis a brief hug. It was just a quick thing with a pat on the back from Stan, but Harry still felt himself bristle slightly. 

Because Louis knew Harry so well and sensed his discomfort, he stepped back and pulled his curly boyfriend forward. 

“This is Harry,” he said plainly with an adoring smile on his face as he looked at the younger boy.

A look of recognition passed over Stan’s face and Harry saw his features contort like he was trying to remember something. A second later, his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened with the most amused look in them. “Wait a fucking second… the Harry? The one you could never shut the fuck up about last year? Don’t tell me you finally got on that, mate?” 

Wait, wait, wait… what? Harry looked at Louis and saw him glaring at Stan as if telling him to shut the hell up. Then he was glancing at Harry apprehensively. A grin began overtaking the young boy’s face as he realized what everything meant and he suddenly found himself disliking Stan a lot less.

“So, Louis… You never shut up about me, huh?” He playfully said, mock shoving Louis’ shoulder. This was going to be a lot of fun. He was definitely going to store this bit of information away for later.

Louis stood there with his arms cross across his chest, looking extremely annoyed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he claimed. Harry couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the discomfort that was radiating from every part of Louis.

Stan spoke up, seemingly even more amused after watching the exchange between the boys. “So are you two like dating or are you just fuck buddies?” 

And this time it was Harry’s turn to react completely shocked. Any sense of amusement he held at the revelation about Louis fell away.

“Wha- what, no. We haven’t, I mean, we’re not - no we don’t do that-“ 

And then Harry began to panic even more because shit, what if Louis took that to mean that he didn’t want to? Holy fuck, he wanted to; he wanted Louis in every possible, sexual way. But they had been taking things slowly. 

Trying to cover his tracks, he continued rambling which was probably not the best thing for the situation. “Not that we won’t or I don’t want to, it’s not like that at all I would love to, we just… Oh god.” Harry forced himself to shut up because he was pretty sure he had reached rock bottom. His face was beet red and Stan seemed to be thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. Fuck him.

He had just admitted out loud that he wanted to fuck Louis. And while that was something that shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone, Harry was still incredibly embarrassed. He was almost scared to look at Louis to see his reaction, but when he did he couldn’t really make out what the older boy’s expression meant. He looked very pensive, like he was thinking very deeply but trying not to let it show too much. 

Louis looked away from his boyfriend. The curly haired boy felt relieved that the gaze was removed. “Harry’s my boyfriend. We got together this summer.” 

Through the thoughtful look on his face, Louis couldn’t help but smile as he told his roommate this beautiful piece of information. Harry would have smiled too if he hadn’t still been completely mortified at having told Louis - as well as a complete stranger - that he would love to bone him. That was going to take a while to get over.

“Fucking finally, man. Took you long enough,” Stan said, patting Louis on the shoulder in a friendly way. “I’m happy for you.”

And then Harry thought that maybe he didn’t have to worry about Stan trying to come onto his boyfriend after all. He seemed nice enough. He also seemed straight, something which did all sorts of things to appease Harry. 

Stan spoke again, this time even more enthusiastically than he’d been before.

“Now, who’s up for a party tonight, lads?” 

***************************************

The incredibly loud music pumping around them was starting to give Harry a headache. So was the alcohol, but he hadn’t had much of that. Just a plastic cup half way filled with warm beer which had been disgusting. Louis hadn’t had much more than him.

They were both standing off to the side of the party together, opting to try and have a conversation over the dropping bass rather than spend their last night together mingling with screaming strangers. Every so often they would see Stan dancing on a table, or taking another article of clothing off and screaming at the half naked girls around him. He’d definitely had a bit more to drink than them.

As a Katy Perry song started blasting out of the speakers, Harry was just about to poke a little more fun at his adorable boyfriend (ugh, boyfriend, he still couldn’t get over that, no matter how hard he tried) for ‘always talking about him’ last year when he was interrupted before he could even get a full word out.

The interrupting man standing near them had to be Louis’ age but he was completely unfamiliar to Harry. He was relatively good looking, but he looked like the type of person who was completely arrogant about his looks. Long story short, he looked like bad news. And he’d clearly had at least as much to drink as Stan. 

“Well if it isn’t Louis Tomlinson.” 

Immediately, Harry didn’t like the lad. His voice was nasally and his mouth was too big for his face. And nobody, especially not this tosser, was allowed to say ‘Louis Tomlinson’ in that manner - like he was talking about a particularly tasty meal he’d eaten before and wanted to try again. There was also a hint of mocking in his words. Harry instantly went on the defensive.

The stranger spoke again, this time sounding as drunk as he looked. “I’ve missed that pretty little mouth of yours, Lou. Where has it been all summer?”

At this, it was all Harry could do not to punch this mother fucker in the face. He felt his anger bubbling up, threatening to spill over the edge.

Okay so maybe a little bit of that was jealousy because this guy was clearly an ex boyfriend of Louis’ or something, but it was more than that. Absolutely no one was allowed to speak to Louis that way. Whoever this asshole was, he was a sleazy git that needed to check himself before Harry completely lost his temper.

Beside him, Louis was doing his best to hold his ground by glaring at the idiot trying to come on to him.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Ron. You don’t have the right to talk to me like that. We’re not dating anymore, thank God.” 

Okay, ex boyfriend, Harry had been right. That didn’t do anything to ease his anger. And now on top of that, he was really starting to worry about Louis’ wellbeing. Because while he really was trying to stand up to this dumbass - Ron apparently. What a stupid name. - and be his usual sassy self that Harry adored, he could tell that it was putting a huge strain on his boyfriend. 

The older boy was fidgeting beside him, avoiding eye contact and just looked incredibly stressed. It hurt Harry to see the boy he loved like this.

Louis wasn’t as strong as he always tried to show the world he was. All Harry wanted to do was protect him. Protect him from the world and especially this fucking idiot who thought it was a good idea to mess with his boyfriend.

Ron was clearly not taking the hint that he was not a wanted presence. 

“Look, Ron, you need to leave -” Harry started, trying to sound as authoritative as possible and grasping Louis’ hand beside him to make a point, but he was cut off.

“Aww Louis, don’t tell me you’ve run off and gotten with another guy?” The way he put an emphasis on the word another made Harry even angrier. Who the fuck was this prick to judge anything Louis did? Harry’s fists began to clench as he fought down the sizzling heat inside of him. 

Ron continued, slurring his words, “Is he your boyfriend? Or do you just let him fuck you?” 

The question wasn’t too different from what Stan had asked earlier, but the intentions behind it were. Ron made it sound so dirty. And it made Harry’s skin crawl. 

Ron took a step forward, getting way too close to Louis and Harry had to stick his arm out to try keep distance between them. Harry tried shoving him away, but the drunk guy was stronger than him. 

Leaning forward so he was speaking into Louis’ ear, but still loud enough where Harry could hear, Ron said, “Bet he’s not as good as I was. Don’t you miss the way we used to fuck, Lou?” 

The use of the nick name was what really got under his skin. Only Harry was allowed to call Louis that. 

He was completely wired, adrenaline pumping through him that he was trying so hard to control and all he wanted to do was punch this guy in the fucking face because Louis did not need this from him; he didn’t deserve this. His older boyfriend actually looked like he might be close to tears. Louis was still avoiding eye contact as adamantly as possible by looking away and up at the ceiling. 

Ron did not like being blown off. Before Harry could do anything to stop it, the other guy had grabbed Louis by the chin with one of his hands to try and force him to look into his eyes. 

“Don’t ignore me. I hate it when you ignore me. You always were a stuck up bitch, you know that? You were only ever good for anything when you had a dick in your mouth -“ 

And then Harry lost it. He lost all sense of self control, any shred of will power he had disappeared. He swung his fist around connecting with the stupid face he’d grown to hate in just a few minutes. The jolt of it sent pain shooting up his arm, but he couldn’t bring himself to care because in a matter of seconds, Ron was swinging back at him. 

Harry didn’t have time to worry about Ron being older, bigger and stronger than him. It didn’t really matter anyway, because with the amount of anger he was being fueled with and the alcohol dragging Ron down, he was pretty sure he still had the advantage. 

As a big fist hit the left side of Harry’s face, his head snapped around, almost knocking him to the floor. He heard Louis beside him, yelling frantically and calling Ron horrible names. Hearing his attacker called a ‘bloody fucking monster tosser from hell’ (really, that one made him almost smile through the pain of his face - Louis didn’t curse much but when he did it was always interesting) gave him a boost and before he could comprehend what he was doing, his own fists were flying towards Ron again. 

It only took two really good hits for Harry to knock Ron out. Once it was done and the stupid git was lying unconscious on the floor, he grabbed Louis’ hand and began leading him away from the crowd of people that had gathered around the fight at some point. 

They didn’t see Stan on their way out, but they figured word would get around to him what had happened. He was probably to drunk to care anyway.

The whole walk back to the dorm, Harry held Louis’ shaking hand. 

He was still angry at Ron for doing this to Louis. The older boy was a mess right now. Harry could tell the words spoken had hurt him, made him feel worthless after all the weeks Harry had spent trying to erase that view Louis had of himself.

Suddenly, he spun around to face Louis. They were right outside the dorm but there were no people around.

“You know you’re absolutely fucking perfect right?” Harry was still holding Louis’ hand and he brought it up to his lips, kissing his knuckles. He had yet to really start feeling the pain in his own knuckles or his face, which he knew would bruise.

“That prick, that total and complete idiot, knows nothing about you, Louis. He is scum and not worth your time because he doesn’t understand just how brilliant you are. You light up my world like nobody else. My goal each and every morning when I get out of bed is to make you smile because as long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” 

Louis had the beginnings of a watery smile now and Harry wanted nothing more than for that smile to get even bigger. He leaned in to his boyfriend and lightly pressed his lips to Louis’. 

Pulling back, he whispered, “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve even seen in my life, Lou. You’re so precious and you deserve to feel and be treated that way. Please, please, please don’t ever believe anything anyone ever says differently. Please. Promise me.” 

Louis wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and pulled him for another kiss, this time a little deeper than the chaste one before it. They broke apart just enough for Louis to say against Harry’s lips, “I promise,” and then they were back to kissing. 

There was nothing frantic about their kisses. Harry did his best to convey all the love he was feeling in the way he sucked at Louis’ bottom lip and nipped at it right before gliding his tongue into the older boy’s mouth. 

Soon their kiss came to a slow stop and the boys rested their foreheads against each other, breathing the other in. 

“Let’s go inside, Hazza,” Louis breathed out, eyes still blissfully closed. And Harry wanted to, really he did. But he also knew that Stan probably wouldn’t want his presence in their room and he didn’t want to be a bother or be an awkward third wheel.

“But Stan when he gets back -” Louis cut him off.

“Stan won’t be back tonight. Trust me. I know his partying habits well. So you can stay.”

Oh. Okay. So Stan was going to be gone all night. And Louis was inviting him up. To stay. He wasn’t sure exactly what it meant.

“Like, to stay the night with you?” Harry’s heart was racing with adrenaline, but it was an entirely different kind of adrenaline than what he had felt during his fight earlier. He was nervous for Louis’ answer. He felt like a stupid teenager; this shouldn’t have been a big deal. But he couldn’t fight down the anxiousness he felt in the pit of his stomach. 

“Well… yeah,” Louis answered softly. “If you want to!” He added quickly. “Only if you want to, Harry. I don’t want to like pressure you or anything.” 

That shouldn’t have given Harry the butterflies that it did. He swallowed thickly and nodded.

“I want to.” 

And there seemed to be so much said in those three words. They were two boys in love, although neither of them had said it out loud, and for Harry, this was a weighted moment. It was as if their relationship was on a tipping point, and the added weight of ‘I want to’ sent them over the edge. 

There was a new charge in the air around them and as the two boys looked into each other eyes Harry knew there was something different there. A new kind of emotion. Beyond love, beyond lust, more like an incredibly extreme mixture of the two and Harry felt his heart stutter at the intensity. 

Harry spoke again, slowly and with important emphasis on each individual word. 

“I really want to, Lou.”

And then Louis was turned around, pulling his younger boyfriend behind him as they went up the flights of stairs where they would find an empty room waiting for them. Where they would have the night to themselves. Just two boys in love, doing what they both so desperately wanted to do.

Harry’s heart came very close to stopping on his way to spend his first night alone with his boyfriend. 

*********************************************

As soon as the door had shut behind them, Louis’ lips were upon Harry’s. The magnetizing charge from earlier hadn’t left them and Harry honestly didn’t know how he’d made it up the stairs without groping Louis the entire time. 

In minutes shoes were flung across the room, shirts were being peeled off and soon their bare chests were pressed close as Harry felt Louis sneak his tongue into his mouth. 

Harry’s hands slid down to Louis’ hips, grabbing tightly and pulling him forward so that their crotches rubbed together. 

“Oh god,” Louis moaned, throwing his head back at the simple friction. The sensations were overwhelming Harry. They had done stuff like this a few times before, but this time it was different. This time he didn’t think either of them were going to stop. And he really, really didn’t want to. 

He was a little worried because if they ended up going all the way, he wanted this to be special for Louis. He deserved every single thing in his life to be special. 

Taking his body away from the older boy’s, Harry quickly walked them over to Louis’ bed, falling down on it with Louis was laying on top of him. Harry’s hands immediately went to the button of Louis’ pants and there was no hesitation, no trying to stop it from either of them because they both wanted this. Louis slid his pants off and then helped Harry with his belt buckle and sliding his off as well. 

Harry should have blushed at their nakedness because he blushed at everything else, but there was nothing to feel even little bit embarrassed about. Louis was so flawless with the small pudge of his stomach and the way his cock was rising up to meet it. Everything about him was perfect and made Harry want him that much more.

Harry wasn’t nervous because everything about this seemed so incredibly right. All he wanted in this moment was to feel Louis inside of him, for Louis Tomlinson to be his first. And, yeah, he knew he wasn’t going to be Louis’ first but to him, that didn’t matter. Because hopefully he could be his last. 

Through the lust that was filling his throat, Harry said thickly, “Lou, I want you so bad.” He had never said a more honest thing in his life. 

“Okay,” Louis said quietly, trying not groan as his dick rubbed against Harry’s. “Switch me.” And then Louis was trying to roll them over so he was beneath his younger boyfriend.

Harry was confused. This wasn’t what he wanted. “Wait, what are you doing?” 

Maybe it was what Louis wanted, and if that was the case than he would do it. But there was still that huge part of him screaming at how badly he wanted Louis to completely fill him up. 

“Don’t… don’t you want me to bottom?” Louis asked, biting his lip nervously. Harry leaned up and kissed him so he would stop. 

Harry moved his lips across Louis’ face and whispered in his ear, sounding braver through the husky quality of his voice than he felt, “I want you inside of me, Louis. I want you to fuck me so hard I forget about the bruise I’m going to have on my face tomorrow.” 

Louis snapped his hips forward at the suggestion and gasped out, “I’ve never - ugh - topped before.” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want, babe,” Harry kissed his boyfriend desperately on the lips. Honestly, while Harry really wanted Louis to fuck his brains out, he was getting to the point where he wouldn’t have minded who topped. He just wanted to feel more of Louis everywhere around him. 

“No no no I really want to. God, I want to so badly,” Louis bit out quickly. It was obvious that he was getting as desperate as Harry was.

Knowing that he was going to get what he wanted, Harry began kissing Louis with everything he had, biting and sucking at his lips while he felt his boyfriend move with purpose on top of him. 

“Louis, d-do you have, oh god, do you have condoms?” Harry was barely able to ask while the older boy was continuing to grind himself into Harry. 

“Yeah hold on,” Louis replied, climbing off of the younger boy and stealing all the incredible heat away from his body. He came back a second later after digging in one of his desk drawers carrying lube and a condom. 

Louis clicked open the container and squeezed some of the liquid onto his fingers, leaning forward to heatedly press his lips to Harry’s. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” Louis whispered quickly. “It’s your first time and it’s gonna hurt. I understand if you want to be on top, Haz.” 

Harry could feel Louis’ slicked up fingers hovering near his ass and he quivered because he was so close to getting what he needed. 

“No, I want this. I trust you,” Harry murmured, pressing his lips to Louis, trying so hard to convey that he just needed this, needed Louis to be the first and only one to have this claim on Harry and he needed it now.

And it felt so much like the first time they were together in any intimate fashion except this time it was so much better because they were both in love and both aware of the fact that they were in love and they were together after so many years of waiting and this didn’t actually feel like a huge deal, it was just something that he really needed to experience with the man he was in love with, simple as that. Harry’s thoughts became almost incoherent with the anticipation he was feeling, the deep burning feeling of want. 

Louis still looked a little unsure because he didn’t want to hurt Harry and frankly, Harry was having none of that. He pushed downwards, towards the waiting fingers and gasped when they gracelessly hit right against the tight hole that was so needy for Louis. 

“Just -” another thrust down, “do it -” once again - Harry was starting to get frustrated at the teasing quality of his thrusts, “already.” 

And then Louis made the contact, slowly pushing one finger up and into the hole. Harry gasped at the intrusion. It wasn’t painful, at least not yet, it was just… different. Different in a good way, he decided. Louis wasn’t moving his finger and he looked worried like always and so Harry reached up, grabbing his head and tugging at his pretty hair, crashing their mouths together in the most heated kiss they’d ever shared. What was it going to take to show Louis that he needed to throw caution into the wind sometimes? 

“Give me something to work with, baby.” Harry rasped out after the kiss and he took the opportunity to shove his hips down, forcing the single digit inside him to be pushed completely in. 

“Oh god, Louis, yes.” 

Harry wasn’t really sure what to expect from sex with Louis (besides that it would be breath taking, of course) but if what he was feeling in that moment was any indication than he was in for a fucking treat. 

Louis worked one finger inside of Harry for a couple minutes, finally seeming to lose some of the worry he held from earlier and when Harry literally couldn’t stop himself from begging for more, the older boy slipped in a second finger. 

That one made Harry hiss little bit as pain began to spread through his lower half. He clenched around his boyfriend’s fingers inside of him and closed his eyes tightly. Within a few seconds, the pain began to subside and Harry nodded his head, giving the go ahead for his Louis to move. 

Louis moved sweetly, gently and carefully inside of Harry, trying his hardest not to cause more pain than was necessary and god Harry loved him for that. He loved Louis for his attentiveness and how he worried over every little thing and how he laughed at Harry whenever he blushed and how in this very moment his hair was starting to stick to his forehead from the thin sheen of sweat that had broken out. It hit him then, harder than Ron had hit him at the party, that this was it - Louis was it for him. He didn’t want anyone else for the rest of his life. 

And it was ridiculous because he was only 16 years old but he just knew and there was no going back now. Harry didn’t think he could survive without the boy hovering over him right now and he didn’t want to find out.

“Louis, I’m ready,” Harry whispered directly into the ear of the older boy and he felt Louis shiver at the breathy contact. 

“M’kay,” Louis said, barely able to talk at all. His erection was already leaking pre-come and Harry couldn’t help but wonder what that would feel like in place of the fingers that had just been pulled out of him. 

“If it hurts just say and I’ll stop,” Louis said. Harry just nodded his head so Louis would get on with it. He wasn’t going to tell him to stop. 

Louis rolled the condom onto himself and poured out more lube which Harry was grateful for - yeah he wanted this and he knew it was going to hurt either way, but he didn’t want it to be too incredibly painful. 

Just as Louis lined himself up with Harry, foreheads of both boys touching, and before he began pushing in, he leaned down and Harry fell in love a little bit more as the older boy brushed his lips over his own. 

Louis pushed the head of his cock into the younger boy and holy shit this was a lot different than the fingers, this he hadn’t been expecting. It hurt. It hurt like a bitch and Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep himself from telling Louis to stop, to just pull out and they could try again some other time. He knew it had to be bad before it could get better and so he let Louis stay steady for a moment before nodding his head. He wasn’t 100% sure he was ready for movement, but there was only one way to find out. 

The older boy moved slowly, pushing himself inside of the Harry tiny bit by bit and all sorts of noises left his mouth. He was being stretched in a way he’d never thought possible. It stung more than anything; it was the kind of pain that was brief in the beginning but that he knew would leave a dull aching pain for days to come afterwards. 

‘Oh well, if I’m gonna be in pain I might as well make it worth it.’

Against his better judgement and partially because he was starting to feel an inkling of pleasure outside of the pain, Harry growled up to the other boy, “Fuck me, Louis.” 

As if he couldn’t control himself, Louis snapped his hips forward in one swift movement, pushing his entire cock inside of the tightness surrounding him. Harry yelled out at the action because it had been the most painful thrust so far but also because something had happened inside of him that had sent the most delicious tingles running up his spine and into his brain, leaving him completely thoughtless except for a repetitious again, again, again. 

“Shit, do it again,” he said mindlessly, just wanting to feel that painful pleasure he knew was possible. 

It didn’t take long for Louis to work up a steady rhythm, usually hitting that certain spot inside of Harry that made his entire body jerk at the sensations. The pain went away completely and soon it was just Louis thrusting into him, snapping his hips forward harder and faster because Louis needed this as much as Harry. 

Little whining noises started falling from Louis’ lips and he had the most gorgeous scrunched up look on his face; Harry knew he had to be close and the effect that had on him was instantaneous. 

“Gonna come soon,” Harry slurred out. Louis nodded jerkily and moved one of his hands that was resting on Harry’s shoulder down to the younger boy’s free erection. 

“Same time?” Louis asked shortly. 

Harry thought maybe that was a little ambitious, but he was willing to try anything for Louis. He nodded and really savored the final few thrusts into him, memorizing the feel, the look on Louis’ face as it contorted, the tight clench of himself around Louis’ cock. This was something he wanted to remember forever. 

The thrusts became more frenzied and frantic, causing Harry to moan and yelp out Louis’ name over and over. “I’m about to…” Louis said, trailing off. He didn’t need to finish the thought. Harry could see the look of extreme relief and ecstasy wash over his boyfriend’s face and it only took a second after seeing that image before Harry was coming too, spilling over onto Louis’ hand that was pumping him. They both rode out the wave of pleasure that was sweeping over them and soon they both just felt exhausted.

Louis rolled over to the side, gently pulling out of Harry and giving him a sleepy, apologetic grimace of a smile when Harry hissed at the stinging he felt. 

So that was sex. With Louis. Wow. 

Harry wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pulled him into his chest so Louis’ head was resting at the crook of his neck. That had been so… perfect. Everything about it. Even though he probably wasn’t going to be able to sit properly tomorrow, every little bit of tonight was worth it. 

Without thinking, Harry softly muttered, “I love you,” into Louis feathered hair. Louis froze in his arms. That was the first time either of them had said the L word out loud. Slowly, the older boy looked up at Harry with that familiar worried expression in his eyes. 

“Do you mean that?” He asked in hushed tones. 

“Completely.” Harry said seriously, gently grasping Louis’ face and pressing a kiss onto his forehead. 

Louis smiled with closed eyes and nuzzled himself back into Harry’s neck. “You’re the first person who’s ever told me that.” 

Harry felt his heart swell. They were both each other’s first in one way or another. He couldn’t even bring himself to be angry that nobody had loved Louis before. Because if nobody else had ever been smart enough to see how completely worth it it was to love this precious person in his arms… then that just meant more for him. He would never take Louis for granted. 

“And I love you too, Hazza,” Louis said against his neck, kissing the sensitive skin there and sending shivers through his body. 

Harry fell asleep with Louis breathing deeply in his arms and the word perfect perfect perfect playing over and over in his head.


	7. Part Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for a very Larry Christmas, folks! Oh, and some angst. Have some of that, too.

It was Louis' birthday.

Already several times, Louis had pointed out that Harry was more excited than he was.

"But baby, it's your twentieth birthday! That's a big deal!" Harry said, grabbing Louis' hand and swinging it back and forth between them. He was doing it on purpose. It was funny to see his boyfriend try to put a beanie on one handed.

"Stop it, you're making me feel like an old man," Louis said grumpily, trying to shake his hand out of Harry's grasp. Harry just held on tighter. He didn't want Louis to be grumpy with him. Nobody should be grumpy on their birthday. 

"Louis…" Harry started slowly, gently pulling on the older boy's arm so that he would follow Harry's lead and sit down on his bed with him. He had to approach this subject casually but carefully.

Sure, it had crossed his mind before, but he didn't think it really mattered between him and Louis. Their relationship was more than numbers. Numbers were irrelevant.

"Do you feel weird being four years older than me now? Is that what this is about?"

Louis wouldn't meet his eyes. It hurt a little bit but Harry held on tightly to the hand in his and took a deep breath. This wasn't a huge deal. They would move past this and they would do it together.

"It's not even a full four years, Lou. I'll be seventeen soon," Harry tried to reason with his boyfriend even though he knew his argument wouldn’t make much of a difference with as stubborn as Louis was.

The atmosphere in the bedroom was tense but the fact that Louis' hat was completely askew on his messy hair, looking a tad bit silly - he hadn't been able to do it one handed after all - lessened it. Harry thought he looked adorable. Well, more adorable than usual.

"Please look at me, love," Harry said, resting his head on Louis shoulder and blowing on his face in a maybe, kind of, possibly a little bit annoying way until his boyfriend finally turned around to face him.

The older boy with the crooked hat was trying so hard not to smile and failing. Harry was glad that Louis couldn’t stay upset when Harry was being silly.

"It's just a number and it doesn't matter, Louis," Harry said, finally releasing his boyfriend's gloved hand and moving to straighten the grey beanie that the older boy had stolen from Harry on top of his feathery hair. "I would love you whether you were twenty or a hundred and twenty. But I'm really glad it's the former."

Harry grabbed both sides of Louis' face and pulled him close, kissing him right on the nose. It wasn't the first time - and it certainly wouldn't be the last - that Louis caught him grinning like an idiot. He was eternally drunk on this man sitting beside him.

"Now get that cute arse of yours up, put a coat on and hurry the hell outside so I can throw snowballs at you," Harry said, hoisting himself off the bed pulling his boyfriend up too. 

When they were both up, Harry couldn't help but wrap his gangly arms around Louis. He was just that irresistible. And also because they needed it after just having had a fight, however small it was, and Louis needed it because he was feeling down and Harry needed it just because he loved hugging Louis. There was nothing wrong with that.

Still in the embrace, Harry mumbled in Louis' ear, "Oh and just because you're old now, don't expect me to take it easy on you, grandpa."

"Oh it is so on," Louis retorted.

Harry broke away from the hug, playfully reaching around and smacking the delightful ass of his boyfriend before turning and running away so that Louis couldn’t catch him.

He ran out the door and into his front lawn where snow was blanketing everything, just waiting to be balled up and thrown. Louis wouldn't know what hit him.

**************************************

This had been the best day of holiday, by far.

Rolling off of his boyfriend so that they were laying side by side in the freezing snow, Harry struggled to catch his breath.

Both of the boys could see the steamy breath coming out of their upturned lips as they laughed, snow falling out of their coats where it had been shoved and melting on exposed skin. Their faces had turned from pink to a bright cherry red as the cold and the excitement permeated their pores. 

Harry was so perfectly content and bursting at the seams with happiness that he couldn't hold it in any longer; he wanted to give Louis his birthday present now.

"Louis, I love you."

"I know," Louis said with a large grin on his face.

"Can I give you your birthday present now?" Harry asked.

Louis scrunched up his nose. "Here? In the snow? You wanna give me a blow job right in your front yard?" 

His older boyfriend laughed as Harry smacked his arm. "No, you idiot. That's for later." He winked.

"But seriously… I have something for you. Well, it's not something. It's not a tangible object, I mean. More of news, really. But I think it's nice. Fantastic actually. Hopefully you'll think it's nice too," Harry said, starting to get flustered. He was anxious and he didn't know exactly how to explain the older boy’s ‘present’.

"You're rambling, Hazza," Louis said, smiling over at his red-faced boyfriend.

"Sorry. It's just something that I've been thinking about for a long time. I'm really nervous but really excited about it at the same time. I've talked it over with my mum for ages and while she wasn't completely on board with it at first, I think she knows it's the only way I can really be genuinely happy. And I just want us both to be happy together, Lou.

"I love you so much. You know that, right? That I love you more than anything, even Ed Sheeran’s musical talent?" Harry was now looking intently at Louis. His body was rolled over on his side, so his left elbow was deep in the snow and his right was resting over Louis' chest; his hand was laying right where Louis' heart would be.

"Harry, baby, I know. And I love you even more than that. Just spit it out, already!" Louis said, looking excited

Harry took a deep breath. He shivered, but not from the cold. He was so filled with anticipation for Louis' response.

"I'm going to graduate early."

Louis just stared at him. He didn't move, he didn't blink, he didn't even breath. 

"What?" He asked. That was it. One word. Nothing else.

"I'm…" Harry started again, tripping up this time at Louis' less than stellar response. "I'm going to graduate early so that I can go to uni with you next year." Harry said with a lot of fake enthusiasm. It was hard to muster it up and make it genuine when his boyfriend looked like he’d just been told to solve an extremely difficult math problem. 

"Yeah… yeah I heard you," Louis said. He seemed upset and preoccupied.

But why? Shouldn't he be ecstatic about the news that he was going to get to spend so much more time with his boyfriend come next year? That they wouldn't have to settle for seeing each other just on weekends and holidays?

Why would he react like this? It hurt Harry in a way that maybe it shouldn’t have but he couldn’t help being upset.

"Stop it," Harry said, brushing away the hair that had fallen in Louis' eyes. "Why do you look like that? I thought you'd be excited."

Worry was creeping up on Harry. Why did Louis keep trying to bring today down when it should be about celebration and excitement?

The older boy blinked finally. He was beginning to withdraw into a pensive shell like he had that morning, Harry could tell. His face was etched with… sadness?

Why?! This didn’t make any sense!

"Louis, talk to me. Don't do this again! It's your birthday, I just want to do whatever I can to make you happy," Harry pleaded with his boyfriend. His body that was already cold seemed to drop a few more degrees, only this time it wasn't from the snow.

"Harry, I just…" Louis began before he squinted his eyes shut in a flustered concentration. Harry felt his boyfriend's hand slide up and grab his - well at least that seemed to be a good sign. He didn’t seem to be mad at Harry, not if he still wanted to hold his hand.

"I'm taking everything away from you!” Louis rushed out, raising his voice slightly. “Your youth, as you’re now dating an old man right now. Your freedom, as you don’t get to date like someone your age should and someone as gorgeous as you deserves to be. And now your friends if you graduate early and leave them behind. I can’t do that to you, Harry. I won’t be that kind of boyfriend. I want to give you everything in the world, not take it away from you, bit by bit.” 

Halfway through Louis’ rant, Harry’s jaw dropped. He looked and felt heart broken. 

No. Just… no. How could Louis even think like this? He wasn’t taking anything away from him! No, he had enriched his life in every way possible. He had given Harry everything.

Louis made Harry a more mature person, a happier person, an incredibly sexually satisfied person, a loved person; just a better person over all.

Without Louis, Harry would cease to be Harry. How could he not see that?

“I mean, it’s not like I can’t wait for you, Haz. I’d wait forever to be with you. I can’t… I just don’t want you to push yourself like this for my sake. I’m not worth that added pressure -”

Harry tried to interrupt indignantly at that – Louis was worth everything – but the older boy stopped Harry before he could get anything out. 

“I know you think I’m it for you right now. And God knows you’re the only one for me. But you can’t do this for me, Harry! I won’t let you!” Louis’ eyebrows were scrunched together. He looked genuinely upset.

It kind of made Harry angry. Louis thought he only wanted to do this for his sake… What about what Harry wanted? Was he supposed to have no say in the matter of his own future? 

“There’s nothing you can or can’t do about it, Louis. I’ve talked to all my teachers and the school counselor. It’s done. It’s happening. I’m graduating early. I am going to uni next fall,” Harry said, perhaps a little more aggressively than he normally would have. His hand was still in Louis’ but both of their grasps were rigid, tight, uncomfortable, just like the atmosphere surrounding them.

“I guess the real question now is whether or not you’ll even be by my side when I get there,” Harry challenged, looking directly into the hypnotizing blue eyes that now looked completely scandalized.

Louis was hurt, that much was obvious. His mouth opened slightly and his bottom lip quivered before he quickly bit down, closing his mouth in a thin line. The blue eyes shut down as well.

Harry immediately regretted what he said; maybe he’d taken this too far. He knew Louis wouldn’t leave him over something like this. He had mostly said it out of anger.

But honestly, what did Louis expect? He had been making it sound like Harry was a child and that if he did what he so desperately wanted and actually did graduate early, that their relationship would somehow fall apart. It had been Louis who had first injected the break up vibe into the conversation. 

Harry still wanted to take it back though. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Louis, that hadn’t been his intention. He never, ever, ever wanted to break up with Louis. He didn’t ever want to find out what it felt like not to be with his gorgeous, sassy, perfect boyfriend.

Lying in the snow, surrounded by thick tension, he couldn’t bring himself to talk. The words that he needed to say were stuck in his throat. Maybe it was the cold or maybe it was just because he was stupid as fuck, but he couldn’t choke out the simple words ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that’.

And Louis was having none of it.

He pushed himself up out of the show, making a show of releasing Harry’s hand and shaking his own as if shaking it would also get rid of the memory of Harry’s bigger hand being on his. 

“I’m going home. Bye, Harry.”

And Harry fucking Styles was the biggest fucking idiot in the world.

Because Harry didn’t stop him. He let Louis, whom he loved more than anything in the fucking world, walk away from him. Without an ‘I love you’. Without an ‘I’m the biggest tosser in the world, please forgive me’. Nothing 

On Christmas Eve. On his birthday.

The curly haired boy considered just continuing to lay in the snow forever and letting it turn him into a human popsicle so he wouldn’t have to deal with how much of a dumb ass he was and the repercussions of it.

But eventually he spoke some sense to himself and got up, shaking the snow off of his black coat and shuffling his way back to the house. He didn’t deserve the warmth and delicious smell of cinnamon that met him when he opened the front door.

There was really only one person he could turn to in this situation.

“Mum!” he called out.

“Mum, I need you.”

*************************** 

‘Come over? Please? I love you.’

Harry pressed send on his phone and sighed, sitting back on his couch. The living room was lit up from the Christmas tree sitting in the corner, gifts cluttering the base of it. He had just laid all of those presents out. It had been part of the negotiations with his mum.

She had agreed to let Louis come over (if he wasn’t pissed off and ignoring his younger boyfriend as he had the right to be, that was) late at night when everyone was asleep if Harry agreed to play Santa and set the gifts out for Gemma and Isaiah. 

It was 11:34 pm. He hadn’t heard one peep from Louis since their fight. It had been their first fight ever.

Quite frankly, Harry was scared shitless. He had never been in a serious relationship before Louis and he wasn’t sure what was appropriate to do in this situation. Should he call and beg forgiveness? Ignore it and hope that Louis came around by himself? Walk through the snow, throw pebbles at Louis’ window and carry a boom box on his shoulder? He’d settled on a simple text.

He wasn’t even admitting it to himself, but a part of him couldn’t help thinking… what if Louis broke up with him? Would he do that? Could he be that upset with Harry? 

There wouldn’t be life without his Louis. He would cease to exist as Harry Styles. 

His identity had been compromised the moment he and Louis had kissed on that hammock that was probably lying in some junk yard now after being broken and then thrown away by his mum. 

Because he wasn’t just Harry Styles anymore. He was now Harry Styles, boy in love with and loved by Louis Tomlinson. Louis was an integral part of his being. If Louis left, he would take half of who Harry was with him.

The phone vibrated from the armrest. His entire body shot forward and he snatched up the phone, wasting no time in reading the text.

It was from Louis. Hallelujah.

‘Be there in 2… love you too. xx’

Harry could feel the tangible weight being lifted off his chest. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be okay. Louis wasn’t going to leave him to be forever alone and drown in a hopeless pit of despair and cats.

Good lord, he really needed to stop being so over dramatic. Louis’ flair was obviously starting to rub off on him.

Before Harry had stopped almost hyperventilating and smiling like a fucking idiot, he heard a faint knock coming from his front door. It could only be Louis.

Harry basically ran to the door, having to exert all of his self control so that he didn’t rip the door open and let it bang into the wall.

As calmly as possible, he forced himself to open the door slowly, bit by bit. There stood Louis, in a white cable knit jumper, covered by an unbuttoned trench coat, looking like an absolute angel. The white snow covering the lawn behind Louis was illuminated by the streetlight. It cast a beautiful glow onto the older boy who was staring at Harry hesitantly with those ocean eyes.

“Hi.”

Harry breathed in the whispered word. “Hi,” he whispered back.

And then he rushed forward and wrapped his bare arms – he was wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung sweat pants – around his smaller, gorgeous boyfriend.

Nothing had ever felt so right. Harry never wanted to fight with Louis again. He wanted to stay right here in his arms forever.

Harry pressed three soft, wet kisses at the base of Louis neck and felt him sigh beneath his lips.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” Harry hummed against the skin there. “I’m so, so sorry. I love you. I didn’t mean it. I know you’ll always be there with me. I was stupid. I love you so fucking much.”

Louis worked his gloved fingers into Harry’s curls, massaging the scalp his fingers met. It felt so good; relaxing. Harry continued kissing his boyfriend, now moving to Louis’ pliable lips that were begging to be covered with his own.

“I don’t ever want to fight again, please.” His tongue slipped past Louis’ lips and the familiar taste invaded his senses, bringing him home.

“I love you,” the younger boy whispered once more as he broke their lips apart and let his forehead rest upon Louis’.

Louis’ eyes were closed. He kept them that way, nodding his head against Harry’s.

“I know.” 

He looked heart breakingly beautiful. His face looked sad but in the happiest way. Harry compared it to what someone might look like while listening to a haunting love song. The moment was so soft, so filled with emotion. It was beautiful and Harry was scared to break it.

“It’s cold out here, Hazza, and you’re practically naked. Let’s go inside,” Louis suggested softly, taking his boyfriend’s larger hand and leading him inside his own house. Harry let him.

“The tree is pretty. I like all the colors,” Louis said, sitting down on the couch and pulling his boyfriend down to sit on his lap. It made Harry laugh because he was already taller than Louis and now he felt gangly and silly sitting on the other boy’s lap. But he would do whatever Louis wanted him to.

“It’s not as pretty as you.”

It wasn’t a line. It was the truth. Harry had never seen anything prettier than Louis.

His boyfriend, however, wasn’t impressed. Louis rolled his eyes with a small smirk on his face. 

“We should talk about earlier, Hazza. About what you’re planning to do,” Louis said slowly. Harry’s shoulders slumped. He knew they were going to have to talk about this eventually – it was why he had invited Louis over in the first place – but all he really wanted to do right now was snuggle into his boyfriend’s arms and hide his face in Louis’ warm neck.

“Don’t wanna,” he mumbled. He didn’t care if he sounded like a child. Which he did.

Louis’ voice took on that sassy authoritative tone Harry had grown to love and fear at the same time. “Too bad. It’s happening whether you like it or not. It would just be a whole lot easier if you were a participating member in the conversation. 

Harry felt a soft hand rest on his cheek and pull his face up to look into vibrant blue eyes.

“Haz… are you sure there’s nothing I can do to make you change your mind? Are you sure you want this?” Louis asked. Harry hadn’t been expecting the tender conviction in the older boy’s voice. He really was genuinely worried. He legitimately thought he was ruining Harry’s life. Harry almost laughed at the thought. 

“I want you. I want you and everything that comes along with that, Lou. This isn’t like… an inconvenience or whatever you might think it is for me. This is my life. That I want to spend with you.”

A small smile spread over Louis’ face and Harry felt warmth spread through his heart. With shaking breath, Harry lifted his left hand and placed it over Louis’ slowly rising chest. For a few moments, it was just quiet. Both of their faces were lit up with different colors from the twinkling Christmas lights. Then Louis broke the colorful silence.

“I guess this means I accept your birthday gift, then. I’m sorry for overreacting earlier, Haz. I love you and I really am so happy you’ll be with me next year. I just – I worry a lot,” Louis trailed off, sighing. Before the breath completely left the older boy’s lips, Harry caught Louis’ mouth with his own, pressing a sweet but firm kiss there.

He smiled. He felt so happy. So happy and content and perfect and all he needed to feel that way was Louis.

“Trust me,” –one more kiss– “I know you do.”

Louis laughed at his boyfriend’s playful exasperation.

“But I love you for it,” Harry finished. 

Then Harry had a thought. He looked down at his phone to see the time – 12:02. Perfect.

“Speaking of presents; I have your Christmas one. I’d really like to give it to you now,” Harry said, slightly losing concentration when he felt himself getting lost in Louis’ eyes.

God, those eyes. Why did they do that to him every time he looked into them? They caused his heart to speed up and sputter and almost fail entirely.

“Well?” Louis said, snapping Harry back to reality, with the feistiest and cutest look of demand on his face.

Harry grinned. “Be back in a sec,” he said, pecking his boyfriend’s lips before hopping off his lap and running to his bedroom.

When he walked back into the living room, laying eyes on his boyfriend’s gorgeous figure – he had taken off the coat and jumper and now his upper torso was just covered by an undershirt. God, how did someone make a simple white t-shirt look so damn sexy? – he was carrying a thin, square shaped package. It was badly wrapped in green paper covered with tiny Santa Clauses. Harry had tried to cover up the poor wrap job with a red, sparkly bow but it hadn’t helped much. 

“It’s not much,” he stated, handing over the present. “But I wanted to give you something that really let you know how I felt about you.” 

By this point, Louis was already ripping open the paper. The hard plastic was revealed, showing the mix cd Harry had spent weeks putting together. Getting the absolute perfect mixture of songs had been a bitch but it was worth it because he felt like this cd represented their entire relationship – from the very beginning of their friendship to the love they now shared.

Louis looked up at him with an unreadable expression. “You made me a mix cd?”

Oh shit, did he not like it? What if he wanted an actual, real present –cologne or something – rather than some stupid cd? In hindsight, a mix cd did seem like a rather lame present to give someone on Christmas.

“Well, yeah, I did. But it’s okay if you don’t like it. I can get you something else –“

“Harry, shut up,” Louis cut him off. Well, that was nice. “I don’t even know what songs are on it and I’m already sure I love it.”

The younger boy beamed at Louis at this. All of his doubts from a few seconds ago melted away.

“Can we play it?” Louis asked. Harry, who had been prepared, nodded and took the cd from his boyfriend. The cd player was on the desk which sat on the wall adjacent to the couch.

He made sure it was on song number one – it was the song he always associated with Louis and so he’d made sure it was first. 

He walked back to the couch as the first notes started playing, slowly alerting Louis to what it was. The younger boy saw recognition register on Lou’s face.

Harry sat down on the end of the couch far away from Louis, but the distance allowed him to lay down his long body and rest his head on the warm inviting lap currently covered in khaki pants. 

I should ink my skin with your name 

And take my passport out again and just replace it 

See I could do without a tan on my left hand where my fourth finger meets my knuckle 

And I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles 

'Cos maybe you're loveable and maybe you're my snowflake 

And your eyes turn from green to grey in the winter, I'll hold you in a cold place 

And you should never cut your hair 'cos I love the way you flick it off your shoulder 

And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me 

But maybe I'm just in love when you wake me up

Harry started singing along without noticing he was doing so. Ed Sheeran possessed the voice that he wished he had and the lyrics that seemed to pour straight from his own heart and into Louis’.

“And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me,” Harry sang quietly up to Louis as the song was coming to a close.

He loved Louis. He was going to graduate early. He was going to go to uni next year and get to spend every day with his boyfriend and rent a tiny flat with him that they could call their own – okay so maybe he was getting a little bit ahead of himself. They hadn’t discussed moving in together. For all he knew, Louis wanted to stay in the dorms for the convenience.

But Harry would convince him. He was very persuasive when he wanted to be.

Maybe I fell in love when you woke me up.

Harry had been planning to give Louis a blowjob to accompany the cd but as the song shifted to a different one, Harry could feel Louis’ previously shallow breaths had turned into deep, rhythmic ones. He had fallen asleep.

Harry was tired too. It wouldn’t hurt to close his eyes for a little bit. Then he could wake Louis up and get him home before his mum and sisters woke up to find him missing. 

He closed his eyes and felt sleep overcoming him. He saw Louis’ face even behind his heavy lids.

**********************************

“Why do I always seem to find you boys in this situation?”

Harry slowly blinked his bleary eyes. He had heard the voice, but his mind wasn’t processing what it meant. 

The last thing he remembered was giving Louis his present and then singing to him right before his older boyfriend had… fallen asleep... Oh shit.

His eyes shot open like toast coming out of a toaster. His mum was standing right beside the couch, arms crossed, looking down at him and Louis with an almost amused expression as they were currently tangled together on the couch.

During the night, Harry had apparently shifted to wear he was lying completely on top of Louis. His arms were wrapped around his boyfriend and he had used Louis’ chest as a pillow. Because he was so tall, his legs were dangling off the couch. 

Louis looked like an angel, still sleeping. (Honestly, that boy could sleep through a hurricane.) His mouth was open and there was the tiniest bit of drool gathered at the corner of his mouth. His arms were currently resting over Harry’s shoulders. They had found a way to embrace even in their sleep.

Fuck, it was so adorable and all Harry wanted to do was wake Louis up with soft kisses and suck him off like he hadn’t gotten around to doing last night –

“Harry, stop thinking dirty things about Lou. I really don’t want to have to ground you again,” his mum said jokingly.

Jokingly. She was joking with him. She had the most knowing smirk on her face as she was looking at the two boys.

She wasn’t angry! And she wasn’t going to ground him! She wasn’t going to take away his precious time with Louis! God, he had the best mum in the entire fucking world!

“Mum, have I ever told you that you’re wonderful and that I love you?” Harry asked. He was so extremely happy right now, he was sure his face was lighting up like a neon sign; waking up in the arms of your boyfriend on Christmas morning and not getting screamed at for it could do that to a person.

“Yeah, yeah, of course you do,” Anne said, still smiling and slightly rolling her eyes at her clearly love struck son. “I think you should wake him up though –“ she pointed at Lou, “-so that he can go home. It’s Christmas, he should be with his family.”

Harry groaned out loud. He knew his mum was right but he never wanted to move from where he was or let Louis go. They were perfectly content in this spot forever, thank you very much.

The thought of the wrath Louis’ sisters would bring if Harry kept their older brother away scared him though, so he figured it would be in his best interest to wake his boyfriend up. 

“Fine, I’ll do it. What time is it, by the way?” Harry asked his mum, begin to shift himself so he wasn’t completely sprawled on top of Louis.

“It’s 6:30. Gem and Isaiah will be waking up for presents soon,” she answered.

Harry groaned again. 6:30. Too fucking early. 

“Louis,” Harry said huskily, lightly shaking his boyfriend’s shoulders. He still wasn’t waking up.

“Baby, wake up,” he said a bit louder. “It’s Christmas, you need to go home.”

He hated to wake Louis up, but honestly, it was one of the most adorable things he’d ever seen. The older boy’s face scrunched up and he looked like a cranky nine year old. 

“Mmm, don’t wanna. Wanna sleep. Back to sleep, Hazza,” Louis grumbled, nuzzling his head back into the couch pillow beneath him. Harry couldn’t help but smile. He knew his mum was watching, but he didn’t care because how was he supposed to control himself when Louis was being so fucking cute?

“We can’t go back to sleep, Lou. You need to go open presents with the girls. They’ll miss you if you don’t.” 

Harry completely disregarded his mum at this point, leaning down and pressing his lips to the tan skin between Louis’ jaw and neck.

In his half-asleep state, Louis let out the most delicious sounding quiet moan and Harry felt his dick twitch from it. He had to think of dead puppies and boobs to keep from getting a full-blown erection – that would not be fun to play off in front of his mum.

He hoisted himself up, having to force himself to actually break contact with Louis body and losing all the warmth from it in the process. 

The crinkled up look of disapproval appeared again on Louis face and he finally opened his eyes, almost glaring at his younger boyfriend for leaving him alone on the couch. It might have been intimidating if it hadn’t been so damn adorable. And also if Louis’ hair hadn’t been sticking up in a hundred different directions at the time.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Harry said, smiling at the disheveled boy on the couch. 

“I really wish I could hate you right now,” was all Louis said in return, still looking annoyed.

Anne spoke up then. “Well, I’m going to go start on breakfast for the little ones. I’ll leave you two boys to get ready.” 

As she was leaving to go to the kitchen, she leaned over and whispered in Harry’s ear, “Keep it PG on the couch, please. Other people sit there.”

Harry immediately turned bright red and his eyes became wider than should be humanly possible. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his mum with his shocked expression. He was far too embarrassed.

Louis hadn’t noticed the exchange as he was still trying to force himself up off the couch – good, he didn’t need to know what she’d said. Talk about awkward.

Later that morning, after Louis had gone home, Harry and his siblings had eaten breakfast and opened presents – he had gotten several new CDs, a new pair of trainers, a few pairs of pants and concert tickets to see Coldplay (he really did have the best mum ever, he needed to thank her more often).

Harry was starting to become antsy. He wanted to see Louis again.

He didn’t care if that made him sound clingy or pathetic, he just really wanted to see his boyfriend and he didn’t think there was anything wrong with that.

Harry definitely spazzed out and nearly wet himself when he finally got a text from his boyfriend at around 2 in the afternoon.

‘Can I come get you? The girls (and I) miss you. xx’

It was silly, but Harry’s heart sped up a little bit at reading the simple message.

Immediately he typed out ‘Yes, please. See you soon’ and he rushed to go put on his new pair of white converse. He grabbed a hoodie out of his dirty clothes pile, – hey, he was a teenage boy, he didn’t do laundry – sprayed himself with cologne so that it at least smelled decent and then he sat on the couch and waited rather impatiently.

Gemma and Isaiah made their way into the living room as well and sat down on either side of him. They were both wearing new shirts they had gotten that morning from ‘Santa’. Gemma’s had a kitten with a sparkly tiara on it and Isaiah’s sported a BMX motorcycle with a helmeted rider atop it. 

They all three sat there for a while, watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The two younger kids buried themselves into Harry’s sides and Harry found himself forgetting for a few moments that he was waiting for his gorgeous boyfriend to arrive. He was content just sitting here, bonding with his younger siblings. He was actually quite enjoying having them there, his arms wrapped around both of their smaller frames. 

When he actually thought about it, he had both of these little buggers to thank for his current happiness. If they had never needed a babysitter, he never would have kissed Louis that night. They probably never would have hung out and they certainly never would have fallen in love.

And to think, he had begged his mum to cancel the sitter that night. Now he was in a relationship with his – dare he say it? – soul mate. He laughed a little to himself and pulled Gem and Isaiah in closer to him.

“I love you guys,” Harry murmured randomly, just as the little elf fellow on the screen was ranting about wanting to be a dentist. 

Isaiah smiled up at his older brother and kissed (more like licked, but he would refrain from complaining) the arm that he had his tiny limbs wrapped around. Gemma said, “We love you too, Harry. Now hush, so we don’t miss anything.”

What lovely siblings. Harry shook his head in laughing disbelief. 

Just then the doorbell rang. Harry instantly shot up, disentangling himself from the two children and ran to let Louis in.

“Hi, babe,” Louis said, stepping over the threshold hand pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips. That would never get old.

“Hey you two!” Louis cried over his shoulder at the two younger siblings. He was so amazing with the two of them – all kids in general, really. It was another reason Harry loved him. 

“Rudolph?! I love Rudolph!” He said loudly, face lighting up like a little kid. He ran and plopped down on the couch in the space Harry had left. This was why he made such a good babysitter – he got along well with kids because he was a giant kid himself, Harry thought. 

As he was looking at three of the people he loved most on the world sitting together, Harry couldn’t help but notice Gemma had become very stiff and was now looking away from the TV and Louis with wild eyes.

This was a common occurrence when Louis was over at the house; she still got incredibly shy around him ever since the incident where she had confessed her crush and been rejected.

It made Harry feel bad a little bit because he had ended up dating Louis instead. He almost felt like a traitor. But he had talked to Gemma about the entire situation after it had happened and after a few tears and sniffling, she had given him her blessing to date the beautiful boy they both had a thing for. 

He would have to remember to give her a really long hug sometime soon. 

“Babe, come on. You know if you keep the girls waiting they’ll attack you with glitter glue like last time,” Harry said, massaging his boyfriend’s shoulders briefly from behind the couch. 

Louis seemed to consider what Harry had said and decided he was probably right and that the glitter threat was imminent. Neither of them wanted to have to wash that shit out of their hair again – that had been an absolute bitch.

“Fine, fine. I will see you two munchkins later,” Louis said to Harry’s siblings, fist bumping Isaiah (Louis was quite proud of himself for teaching the young boy that one) and ruffling Gemma’s hair, which caused her to turn beet red and turn her head away, burrowing into the pillow beside her.

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and after yelling a quick goodbye to his mum who was probably in her room reading the new book Harry had gotten her for Christmas – 50 Shades of Grey, whatever that was. He didn’t quite know. He just knew lots of older women were reading it. – and bundling up in his coat hanging by the door, he and his boyfriend walked into the cold and began the short trek two houses down.

Harry was excited to go to see all of Louis’ sisters. They were all really special to him and always made him smile. When it had come out to both his and Louis’ families that the two boys were dating, Lottie, Felicite, Daisy and Phoebe hadn’t batted an eye.

They had all seemed genuinely pleased that, if nothing else, Louis was happy. The fact that they all four seemed to love Harry was just an added bonus. It probably helped that he let them put make up on him sometimes though.

Jay… well, Jay hadn’t been too enthusiastic over the idea of her son dating another boy.

She hadn’t been mad. She hadn’t screamed or been disgusted. She just… wasn’t happy.

According to Louis, Jay had ‘had suspicions’ about her son since he had been really young but she had always hoped she’d been wrong. She didn’t want a gay son.

It wasn’t that she had anything against gay people. And she loved Harry to death so if her son was going to be with any boy, she would rather it be him. She just had never grown up in an environment where being gay was okay.

And she didn’t love Louis any less; she made that incredibly clear. In the end, Jay had hugged her son and told him that she would always be there for him, even if she may not know what to do or how to react a lot of the time.

When Louis had been telling Harry all of this, he had started crying at this point in the story because Jay had asked her son very emphatically to forgive her because she was probably going to screw up a lot. That it wasn’t him, it was her trying to wrap her brain around the situation and get used to it.

Louis cried tears of relief because his mother still loved him. She didn’t hate him for being completely head over heels in love with someone who just happened to be a boy. 

Harry had even more respect towards Jay since then.

Outside the front door to Louis’ house, the older boy paused and for a second Harry thought Louis was going to drop his hand before walking in. But instead, he just took a breath and opened the door, walking inside.

“Girls! I’m home! And I’ve brought Harry!” Louis called out to the house.

Almost immediately, Harry heard what sounded like a stampede coming down the stairs. As soon as they laid eyes on him, the twins exclaimed, in synch, “Harry!!” and continued to run over to him throwing their arms around his lower body.

“Well fine, I guess I see how it is. You two love Harry more than you love me!” Louis cried out in mock offence. He did it so over dramatically, throwing his hand over forehead and looking away, stricken. Harry laughed at his boyfriend.

“No! Noooo!” Daisy squealed, letting go of Harry and rushing over to grab Louis instead.

“We love you too, Louis! We love you so much!” Phoebe said, following after her sister. 

“Well… I suppose I believe you.” Louis was smiling so genuinely that you could see the crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes. The way his family made him so happy always amazed Harry.

“Now are those fresh cookies I smell?!” Louis practically yelled and took off running towards the kitchen, dragging Harry by the hand behind him. He was so damn excitable which was so cute it made Harry want to vomit.

Phoebe and Daisy were squealing with laughter, chasing after their older brother and his boyfriend. 

In the kitchen, the remaining two sisters were busy with Jay, moving around bowls of different colored frosting and slathering it on what seemed like hundreds of cookies in all different shapes; there were Christmas trees, Santas, reindeer, wreaths, and candy canes covering the counter space. It must have taken hours to prepare and bake. 

“Hello, boys,” Jay said, wiping her flour covered hands on her apron. Her eyes flickered down to the pair holding hands but she didn’t say anything or take any action to show that she disapproved.

Instead, she grabbed two already frosted candy cane cookies, one blue and one red, and held them out, one in each hand. 

“We’ve been working hard all morning, Harry. Louis didn’t help at all. You should get on him –“ Bad choice of words, Harry thought cleverly to himself, “- about being so lazy over holiday!” 

“Oh, come on mum. You know you don’t want me in here messing things up. I’m shit in the kitchen,” Louis said rolling his eyes and being completely over dramatic, once again.

“Louis Tomlinson! Watch your language!” Jay said, picking up a spatula on the island counter near her and smacking her only son on the arm with it.

Louis just laughed and backed away, rubbing his arm where he’d just been hit. “Sorry mum! I’m going to go give Harry his present now.”

Jay nodded and turned back around to help Lottie and Felicite frost more cookies.

“Come on, Haz,” Louis said softly in his boyfriend’s ear.

Louis turned them around and walked them up the stairs to his bedroom that hadn’t changed at all since he’d been away at uni. There still were a few posters of the odd band scattered around, several books shoved away in a small shelf, a computer on a desk in the corner and a bed in the opposite one. 

The boys sat down on the bed and Louis reached over to his night stand to grab a small, simply wrapped package and a plain envelope that was sitting on top of it.

“You can open the present now but you’re not allowed to open the letter until you’re at home, alone,” Louis said, looking dead serious and handing the package over to his boyfriend.

“That sounds ominous,” Harry replied, laughing at Louis’ crypticness. 

“It’s just, I know that if you read it here, I’ll blush or something stupid and I will get embarrassed and not know what to say and…” –deep breath- “It will just be better if you read it there.”

Louis looked so nervous shuffling his feet and glancing away from the present now in Harry’s possession. The younger boy grabbed Louis’ hand and began rubbing soft circles onto the smooth skin with his thumb.

“It’s okay, love. Calm down. I’ll read it at home,” Harry reassured his boyfriend.

Then, he tore into the wrapped package sitting in his lap. Inside was a band t-shirt – the Ramones. Honestly, it was one of the most thoughtful things anyone who really knew of his love for music could get him. Harry loved it and went to put it on immediately. 

He stood up and off came the shirt that he was already wearing. Just as he was about to put the Ramones shirt on, he heard Louis groan.

“Are you deliberately trying to taunt me? Because if so, I hate you.”

Harry grinned; this could be a lot of fun.

“Why?” He practically purred.

“Do you find me… attractive?” Harry rolled his hips, thrusting them forward so as to tease his boyfriend a bit. There was no way anyone could actually find what he was doing attractive – he was being over the top ridiculous.

But Louis groaned again. “God, even being a total idiot, you’re so fucking hot.”

He grabbed at Harry’s hips that were close to eye level since Louis was still sitting down on the bed and yanked him forward planting kisses on his lower abdomen. Harry reveled in the way Louis’ soft lips touched his skin, leaving a hot trail of kisses down to the button on his jeans.

“Louis-“ Harry gasped as his boyfriend’s hand began to cup him through his pants.

“Louis,” he said again, this time a little more firmly, “you’re entire family is downstairs. This isn’t a good id- ughhh.”

The older boy had proceeded to unbutton Harry’s jeans and slide his hand inside his boxers. 

“I don’t care. I can be quiet,” Louis said throatily.

That wasn’t what Harry was worried about. He was worried about himself. Because if Louis kept touching him like – oh! – like that, then he was going to be a writhing, moaning mess. 

But out of nowhere Louis mouth was already upon him, taking in the full length of his cock and swirling his hot tongue around the tip before he quickly bobbed his head back down. 

And holy fuck, it was so good that Harry forgot there were children in the same house as him. He even forgot to worry if they had locked the door or not. 

Louis pulled Harry towards the bed, his mouth still attached to him and slid off just long enough to lay Harry down and place himself between his boyfriend’s long legs. 

Then Harry was back inside of the older boy’s mouth, Louis’ ass sticking straight up in the air and giving him a fantastic view, making him even hotter than he already was.

The way Louis was hollowing out his cheeks as he sucked upwards on Harry’s shaft withdrew a long moan from Harry’s lips. He had to bite down on his hand to keep it contained and even then it was hard to do.

Louis worked his mouth and tongue up and down, swallowing around Harry’s dick when it was touching the back of his throat.

“Fuck, Louis, fucking shit,” Harry gasped when Louis’ left hand was brought up to massage his balls. 

It was so hard for Harry not to totally lose control. It didn’t take long for the familiar and welcome heat to rise up within him, waiting to be released. And with a few more incredible sucks from his boyfriend, Harry was coming in the wetness of Louis’ mouth.

“Baby, you’re so fucking unbelievable,” Harry said, still panting and trying to recover, feeling extremely sated. He pulled Louis up so that he was lying on top of his shirtless, now sweaty chest.

“I think I should get to return the favor,” the younger boy said, lifting his eyebrows suggestively. 

But Louis just smiled and said, “I took care of myself, figured we probably wouldn’t have time for a double.”

His unzipped pants and a dark, wet spot visible on the boxer-briefs underneath showed that he was telling the truth. How had Harry not noticed his boyfriend giving himself a hand job? He was angry with himself for missing something so damn hot.

“You’re unbelievable, Louis,” Harry said again, shaking his head in astonishment at how much he loved this boy. The way that he took care of him in every possible way and made him feel loved and satisfied and even through doing all that, he managed to stay the sexiest person alive. 

Louis pressed his lips to Harry’s with a blissful smile, “Yeah, I know.”

They lay like that for a few minutes, just basking in the haze of sex that still hung in the air. Louis’ head rested on the Harry’s chest as their palms touched and Harry played with Louis’ delicate fingers.

It was such an innocent, loving moment and Harry didn’t even mean to talk but he couldn’t hold in his thoughts. Being in this moment with Louis got him thinking again about how much he really wanted to live with his boyfriend when he started university in the fall.

“I wish it could always be like this and that we didn’t have to get up in a few minutes so that they don’t start to wonder downstairs,” Harry said with a slight hesitance. He didn’t want to force the idea on Louis but he didn’t know how to approach it at all.

He decided it was best to do it indirectly.

“We could just be together all the time…” He made it seem like an errant idea, but he hoped Louis got the hint that he was actually making a suggestion. A very serious one. “That would be amazing. I love you so much, Lou, it’s ridiculous sometimes.”

Harry felt light lips pressing to his chest. “I know, Hazza. I love you too. And you’re right, that would be amazing,” Louis said quietly, seeming to cut himself off at the end. It was like he had more to say but he wasn’t sure whether it was a good idea or how to go on.

“Do you think – could we, you know, do that? Be together?”

Harry’s heart sped up a bit and he had to suppress a smile. This seemed to be going in his favor. 

“You mean like… live together?” Harry asked.

‘That’s right, just make Louis think it was his idea all along’ Harry thought. Maybe it was devious, but everyone won this way.

“Well… yeah,” Louis said, still hesitantly like he didn’t know if what he was saying would scare Harry off. The younger boy decided it was really important that he let Louis know just how much of an amazing idea it was – and of course it was because it was originally his to begin with.

Louis continued talking. “I mean, it makes sense. If you’re going to be coming to uni and I’ve been thinking about moving out of the dorms and into a flat anyway, why not take advantage of the situation?”

“I’d love that so much,” Harry said, rushing his words out maybe a little too quickly. The whole idea of living with Louis and being domesticated with him just made him so giddy. Good lord, he was turning into a preteen girl.

“Yeah?” Louis asked. Harry almost laughed. Had Louis actually thought that he might say no? Sometimes he was so silly and dense. 

The curly haired boy just nodded his head and fluttered his eyes in contentment. 

He was going to be living with Louis! Fucking hell, when had his life gotten so wonderful?

Not very long ago Harry had been borderline miserable. He never had a ton of friends. He was always moody and quiet, not talking to many people unless they were close family or Niall, Liam and Zayn. There hadn’t been much going right for him before Louis came into his life – again.

And now he had a part of his future planned out. He was going to uni and he was going to do it while living with his boyfriend. He had never thought he’d have a boyfriend before he was 25 at least and it was impossible that that boyfriend would have ever been Louis Tomlinson.

But here he was. Completely happy. It was so beyond anything that he’d ever hoped for. It was the best gift he ever could have received on Christmas.

Harry’s eyes were still closed when he felt Louis tapping on his chest. 

“Oh no you don’t, you’re not falling asleep up here, especially not with your pants half way down your adorable arse,” Louis said, sass turned on in full force. 

This time it was Harry’s turn to groan about not wanting to get up but eventually they both made themselves presentable because Harry knew he needed to go home and spend the rest of Christmas day with his family.

Harry put on his new Ramones shirt, grabbed the envelope and they made their way down the stairs. 

All the girls, even the twins this time, were gathered in the kitchen. It looked like the cookies were just about done being decorated. Daisy and Phoebe were definitely going to need a bath soon as their hair was caked with different colored frosting. He swore, those two girls were walking disasters no matter where they were or what they were doing.

“Well girls, it looks like Harry’s going to go home now. Time to say bye,” Louis called out. All four of his siblings frowned at the announcement and Daisy cried out, “But we want him to stay foreeeeeever!”

Jay just smiled at the two boys walking into the kitchen.

“That shirt looks nice on you, Harry. I told Louis that one was a good idea,” she said.

Harry looked at Louis and saw a faint embarrassed blush appear on his cheeks. How adorable. 

“Thanks, Mrs. Tomlinson. It’s a great present. I’m glad you helped Louis pick out this one,” Harry replied, chuckling.

“Of course, love. That’s what a mother is for.”

Jay then reached over and grabbed a plastic container with cookies piled high inside and walked over to Harry holding it out. 

“These are for you, Anne and the kids. Don’t let Gemma and Isaiah eat too many though, they’ll get a stomachache. There is quite a bit of sugar in those things,” Jay warned in the typical mothering fashion.

And then she did something Harry wasn’t expecting at all. 

She pulled him into a strong hug and kissed his cheek. As she pulled away she said very quietly, but with much conviction, “Thank you for making my baby happy.”

And then she walked back over the counter and said a quick “Happy Christmas, tell Anne I said hello!” almost as if it had never happened.

Maybe Jay was a little more accepting and ready for Louis to be himself than she gave herself credit for. The thought made Harry smile. 

Louis walked Harry to the front door and stood with him while the younger boy pulled his coat onto his frame. He would have walked him all the way home if Harry hadn’t insisted that it wasn’t necessary and that he was a big boy completely capable of making it home on his own.

“You sure are a big boy,” Louis said, winking and causing Harry to shake his head in exasperation before leaning down and kissing his boyfriend goodbye.

At home, Harry spent the afternoon eating Christmas dinner with his mum, Gemma and Isaiah; turkey, potatoes, various vegetables and trifle filled his stomach so much that he almost felt sick.

He and his family spent the evening after that gathered on the couch, Harry holding Gemma in his lap while Isaiah snuggled next to their mum, watching a Christmas movie marathon on TV.

As How The Grinch Stole Christmas finished at around eleven o’ clock and both of the children had fallen asleep, Harry decided it was also a good time for him to shower and go to sleep as well. Tomorrow morning he was going to have to shovel the snow off the walk in front of the house and he wanted to be rested for that.

Harry almost forgot about the envelope simply addressed to ‘Hazza’ until he was laying down in bed, hair still wet and slightly dripping from his shower and he saw it out of the corner of his eye sitting on his bedside table.

For some odd reason, butterflies suddenly began swooping into his stomach. What was the letter going to say? What could possibly be written that would make it to where Louis didn’t want him to read it in front of him. 

With nervous energy running through his veins, Harry slid his fingers under the envelope flap, ripping it open (almost giving himself a paper cut) and pulling out the paper inside. 

Louis’ handwriting was scrawled across the paper in a messy fashion. It was just barely legible.

“Typical Louis,” Harry said laughing and shaking his head.

Then he started to read.

 

_Dear Haz,_

_Happy Christmas. I’ve re-written this letter probably a hundred times and I’m still not sure how exactly to say what I’m thinking._

_There are a lot of different ways that I could say what I want to._

_I could let you know how beautiful your smile is – I swear, it could give sight back to a blind person, it’s so radiant._

_I could tell you that when you flip your precious curls off of your forehead, I get completely overwhelmed._

_I could say that I feel weak and fluttery every single time you touch me. That I can feel the buzz of your love gliding over my skin. That I never feel more safe than when you hold me in your arms._

_I could say all of these things and they would all be true, but I think the simplest way to say it would be just this: I love you. So much more than I ever imagined I could ever love anyone._

_You’ve changed everything about me, Harry. Before you came into my life, first as a friend and then as the most perfect boyfriend, I was nothing. I felt worthless all the time. I didn’t think I deserved any guy’s attention, let alone love from them._

_You’ve shown me that it’s okay to accept love from someone. That it’s okay to value myself. That someone out there thinks I’m special._

_Thank you so much for treating me like I matter. Your love is the greatest gift I could ever receive on Christmas and I can’t ask for anything more._

_You are it for me, Hazza. My end-game. Soul mate. Love of my life. I want to share my life with you now and forever and I’m really looking forward to when we get to do that. I hope all of this isn’t too much. I hope you feel the same way. I think you do._

_Falling in love with you over the years has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thank you for believing in me._

_I love you forever,_

_Louis_

 

Harry read the letter four times. Each time, he found himself running his fingers over the ‘I love you forever’. Louis wanted him forever. They really and truly were soul mates. 

As Harry pulled the covers over his body to block out the cooler air surrounding him, he had to wipe away several stray tears that escaped his eyes.

He was just so damn happy. This Christmas would stay in his memories forever.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is a uni student and Eleanor has absolutely no social boundaries.

“Harry, calm down please.”

Louis stood behind an occupied chair, massaging the younger boy’s shoulders. Harry was currently having a panic attack in the kitchen of their new flat.

But Harry couldn’t calm down. Not when he was starting uni tomorrow. Not when he was so unprepared, not smart enough. Not when he had no idea what to expect out of the classes or peers or professors or dining halls or anything at all. 

“No, I can’t, Louis. They’re all going to know I don’t belong there. I’ll get lost going to all of my classes. I’ll fail miserably. I should have just stayed back where I belong.”

Louis’ hands clenched on Harry’s shoulders. Harry knew that he was probably annoying his boyfriend. He needed to quit while he was ahead but there was a pool of anxiety in his stomach that wouldn’t leave him alone. 

“Why am I even doing this, Lou?”

While he was talking, Harry had twisted around in his chair and wrapped his arms around Louis. 

He was so overwhelmed. By moving into a new place, by leaving his friends behind, by the imminent threat of uni tomorrow… and the only person who could make it any better was the man whose tummy he currently had his face buried in.

Louis threaded his fingers through Harry’s messy curls and immediately the younger boy relaxed by a fraction beneath the touch.

Harry’s breathing slowed too. He nuzzled his face a bit deeper into Louis and his encompassing scent. He smelled like love and home and everything that had ever been good to Harry in life. He didn’t want it to go away. If he could stay like this, the two of them cuddled up and living together and never leaving the flat, he would be so okay with that.

“You’re doing this because you’re ready for it, Haz.” He got down on his knees so that he could be closer to eye level with Harry rather than towering over him.

“You’re not a kid anymore. You’re the best man I’ve ever met,” Louis said, caressing the younger boys face with the soft pads of his fingers. 

“You’re so brave for doing this. And as for going back to where you belong… you belong here with me, Harry. To be able to see you every day from the moment I wake up til we both lie down to go to sleep again is a gift I never thought could be real. And it’s where you’re meant to be. With me. With me always, even at uni.”

Both of Harry’s hands were now in Louis’. The soft touching of skin was, for that moment, all he could think about.

“You’re going to be brilliant tomorrow, babe. You’ll dazzle people with that smile that’s too charming for your own good. I may actually have to start fighting people off of you to be honest. You’ll see, you’re going to fit right in. Everyone is going to love you.

“But I hope you know, nobody is going to love you as much as I do. And I’m going to be there with you every second that we’re not both in classes. You can do this. I know you and I know you’re ready,” Louis said softly, pressing a reassuring kiss to Harry’s creased forehead.

And then a laugh gurgled its way out of Harry’s throat. He hadn’t even realized it had happened but while Louis was gently massaging the pressure points on his hands and comforting him, his breathing had slowed. His mind had cleared. The headache from all the thoughts being thrown around his skull had dissipated.

The younger boy brought Louis’ hands up to his face again and rested his cheek on them, mumbling, “Thanks, Lou.”

His flushed face was hot and Louis’ colder fingers felt nice against it. They stayed like that for a few seconds, Harry breathing in the calmness Louis radiated.

“Come on, Hazza,” Louis muttered. “Let’s go take a bath.”

They made their way to their bathroom.

It really tripped Harry out that it was theirs. Their flat. They lived together. Louis was right, they would wake up and go to sleep together now under their own roof. They were truly a proper couple now. All that was missing was the obligatory pet. Harry thought a cat would do nicely. 

Louis lit a candle and then turned on the hot water of the tub, watching it flow down, beginning to fill the bottom with a peaceful fluidity. Lastly, he poured a small amount of bubble bath soap into the water.

Harry just stood back watching his boyfriend at work. Even after having dated for a year now, he still didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky. 

Louis always took care of him. From his early graduation to their moving into this new flat, Louis had been his support system. He was always there if Harry needed a shoulder to cry on over leaving his mum and his siblings.

He stayed by Harry’s side even when Niall had thrown a bitch fit over Harry leaving him, Zayn and Liam. That had been a bad week for Harry. He thought he was losing his best friends. His best friends thought he was choosing Louis over them.

And Louis had been there. He hugged Harry while he talked on the phone with Niall as he tried to explain that if Niall thought they were getting rid of him that easy, he had another thing coming.

Everything had worked itself out in the end. Niall, Liam and Zayn had even come up and spent a few days at the flat once they had moved in, showing them that their friendship could still last while one of them was away in uni.

And now here he was, knowing exactly what it was that Harry needed and fulfilling those needs. It made Harry feel really young to need to be taken care of so much, but Louis never said one bad word about it. And whenever he was having a bad day, Harry was his support system as well. 

That was the thing about their relationship. Harry did as much giving as he did taking. Louis needed Harry too. That made him feel better.

Louis was done setting up their bath, and when he straightened up, shaking a few droplets of water off of his hands, he walked over to Harry. His hands glided under Harry’s white t-shirt, pushing it up and over his head. Harry let him. 

With brushing limbs and a few slow, languid kisses the two boys helped each other out of their clothes and let them fall to the floor. (That was a perk of living on your own – you could choose to pick up your dirty clothes whenever you pleased.)

It took most of his willpower to actually get into the water and not start making out with his boyfriend but he knew that the bubble bath was a good idea and that Louis had put a lot of love into it.

Harry got into the tub first, letting out a guttural moan at the contact of the heated water on skin. It had been a long time since he’d taken a bath rather than a shower.

“Babe, we need to do this more often, it feels amazing,” Harry sighed, eyes closed. 

Louis climbed in after his boyfriend, chuckling, and Harry pulled the smaller boy flush against his chest. Their size difference worked in Harry’s favor; he rested his curly head on the older boy’s shoulder. 

Harry’s lips immediately set to work at a spot right between Louis’ shoulder and neck, leaving a love bite that made Harry swell with pride.

There. That was enough. He didn’t need to be all over Louis every time they were naked…

Didn’t need… Wanted… Wanted so bad… But didn’t need…

They both leaned back in the tub, closing their eyes and allowing the heat of the water to seep into their tense muscles. Harry could feel the stress of before melting away.

Of course, having Louis in his arms helped a bit too.

“I didn’t say thank you before,” Harry said into Louis’ ear. “But thank you.”

Louis shifted so his head was turned a bit to the left and he could look into his boyfriend’s pretty eyes.

“You don’t have to thank me, Haz.” Louis sounded sleepy, like the combined warmth of the water and Harry’s arms were lulling him. Harry leaned down and kissed his temple.

“I do though. I still don’t know how tomorrow is going to go… but I honestly I don’t fucking care. You’ll be there and that’s all that matters. So thank you.

“And you better not be falling asleep on me,” Harry added as an after thought. He could feel the body on top of him becoming more and more relaxed and carrying a soaked, sleeping Louis Tomlinson to bed tonight was not on his list of things he necessarily wanted to be doing. He would probably slip and fall and kill them both.

“I’m not even tired, what are you talking about?” Louis tried to retort, but failed miserably as he trailed off into a yawn. 

“And you just shut up,” Louis said, cutting Harry off. He had been about to make a sarcastic remark about him ‘not’ being tired. Louis knew him too well.

“Only if you make me,” Harry said playfully, splashing a bit of the water that had begun to lose its bubbles onto Louis’ chest. A few droplets made it to his face and clung to the slight scruff that had grown over the past few days, slowly dripping down and falling back into the tub.

Harry felt that familiar flip in his stomach that he got every time Louis did something to turn him on. Hey, it wasn’t his fault that his boyfriend looked hot with facial hair. Or without it, really. 

He just looked really hot all the time, okay? It wasn’t a crime to constantly want to blow your hot boyfriend.

Unfortunately, being this close in the bathtub meant that Harry couldn’t hide anything. Especially not the erection that started to form from being naked with his hot, scruffy man in the bath.

Louis felt Harry’s cock start to harden from behind him. Sighing, he leaned his head back onto the younger boy’s shoulder.

“Hazza, this is supposed to be a nice relaxing bath. Can we not ever take our clothes off without wanting to jump each other’s bones?”

He said it as a protest, but Harry could discern the delicate breathy quality to his voice and the remaining bubbles in the tub couldn’t completely hide Louis’ own erection that was starting to come about.

Harry took advantage of the situation, kissing Louis’ open neck that was exposed to him. He wasn’t one to waste a perfectly good erection when it came along.

“I suppose we could, but where would be the fun in that?” Harry said, moving his hips slightly upwards and causing water to slosh around them. 

With a deep breath, Louis mumbled, “Yeah… yeah I s’pose you’re… right.” Harry’s eyes dilated and his heart skipped a beat when he witnessed Louis grab his own penis and begin to work it up and down. 

Then he did something Harry hadn’t been expecting. He used his free hand that wasn’t currently fisting his own erection to push himself up using the side of the tub and back against Harry’s dick, rubbing his unbelievable ass against it. 

It sent shooting sparks through his groin into his chest and straight through his skull. It was one of the hottest things he’d ever seen and it felt so damn good, especially with the hot water surrounding them.

Some… thoughts… started to enter Harry’s mind. Thoughts that weren’t usually there.

See, Louis was always the one that topped and Harry was okay with that. He actually really, really liked having Louis inside of him. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think about it sometimes – what it would feel like to be buried deep inside of Louis – it was just that the urge had never been uncontrollable. When he had Louis inside of him, nothing really mattered anyway because both of them were too lost in sensation.

But with Louis pushing himself back against Harry, he felt some sort of primal animal instinct being released inside of him, telling him to take Louis now, fuck him until he was a screaming, moaning mess. Until he was begging Harry to let him ride his cock. 

And oh god, that did things for him. The image of Louis begging him. Begging to be fucked. It sent him into a complete frenzy.

If he hadn’t been completely long gone before hand, lost in Louis and his body and the atmosphere of sex, he was now. It was outside of his control when he thrust upwards, sending water sloshing over the side of the tub.

Was it sick? Fucked up that he had this sudden urge to completely dominate his boyfriend? Probably, but now that he’d seen the image once of Louis begging him for more of his cock, it was branded inside his mind. 

He wanted Louis on all fours as he pounded into him, making the older boy clutch onto the sheets beneath them and cry out his name. He needed it. Harry didn’t even know exactly how to do that, considering he’d never topped before. But that was nothing but a minor inconvenience. He was a really fast learner. 

“Louis,” Harry choked out, having trouble remaining coherent as the incredible dirty images still played in his head. This innocent, relaxing bath sure had taken a turn down an entirely different road.

“Mmm, yeah babe?” Louis let out in a panting whisper.

“Lou, I’d like to… I’d… ugh-“

Louis pushed back on him once again, still pumping his fist slowly up and down his own dick. 

“Can I fuck you?” Harry finally spit out, his voice strangled by the lust swirling around them. 

There was probably a much more eloquent way to ask his boyfriend that he loved dearly if he could top.

Like, “Hey, honey, I’d like to be buried inside you right now, you up for it?” Or “Can I please put my dick inside your ass?”

Actually, no, those probably wouldn’t have been any better but that was unimportant. 

Louis was just as far gone as Harry was at this point.

“Oh god yes Harry, say fuck again, say it,” he panted out.

Harry was only too willing to comply.

“I want to fuck you, Louis,” Harry whispered into Louis’ ear. “Can I?”

Harry bit down on his lip. Dirty talk took concentration. Concentration that he didn’t have right now. 

“Can I fuck you, Lou?”

Louis didn’t answer but he quickly stood up, water falling off his perfect body. He grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him up next.

They were practically running to the bedroom. Louis slipped because they were still soaking wet and Harry had to catch him. But they finally got to the bed and didn’t even have to waste any time taking clothes off. 

Harry pulled his smaller boyfriend’s wet body into his; letting his hands wander all over the familiar smoothness of skin. 

They fell back onto the bed (their bed, Harry reminded himself) and Louis was instantly ready for him, flipping over so that he was on his hands and knees, ass in the air and ready. 

Fuck, this was going to be good.

Harry frantically reached over to the nightstand where their bottle of lube usually sat and cursed when he couldn’t find it – they’d been having a lot of sex around the flat lately. There was no telling where the lube was.

“Damn it babe, I think we lost the lube, I don’t think we can do this.”

But Louis wasn’t about to be that easily deterred.

“Lots of spit,” was all he said. And holy fuck, if that wasn’t one of the hottest things Harry had ever heard.

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, ‘m sure and no condom.” 

They rarely didn’t use a condom, maybe having gone bareback 2 or 3 times in the entire time they’d dated so this was a big deal. Harry was turned on so much by the idea but he wanted Louis to be comfortable and not just doing this to please him. 

“Louis I’m fine using one –“ Harry started saying, his hands running up and down Louis’ sides. He was dropping kisses all down the tan expanse of Louis’ lower back, savoring the heat and wetness radiating from the soft skin.

“Just fucking do it, Styles,” Louis growled.

God, Harry loved it when Louis got demanding. 

“Yes sir.”

Harry spit in his hand and rubbed it all over his fingers, circling one around the tight ring of Louis’ ass. He spit more right where his finger was meeting skin until he was easily able to slide one finger in, Louis clenching around him. Louis whimpered and began immediately pushing back onto his boyfriend’s finger.

Harry had had his fingers inside his boyfriend before but this time it was so different, the intentions and the atmosphere and this time he was stretching out Louis with a purpose.

Soon, Harry wanted to hear more coming out of Louis’ mouth. He spit more on a second finger and then slid that in beside the first, working the two in and out of Louis vigorously.

Louis gave him what he wanted, moaning and arching his little back. Harry grabbed a handful of his boyfriend’s gorgeous ass, leaning down and biting the left cheek.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, Lou,” Harry rasped out, licking the spot that he just bit.

Louis’ only response was arching his back even more so his ass was more accessible. Harry pulled him close and started kissing all over his lower back and ass cheeks. He pulled his fingers out slowly, mesmerized by the way it was glistening with his left over spit.

It wasn’t that weird because Louis’ ass was so fantastic, but Harry was obsessed with it. He couldn’t help but lean down and lick the pink, now stretched hole getting more turned on because of it. Louis reacted with a high, breathy moan.

Harry grabbed both sides of Louis’ ass, pulling the cheeks apart and licking again, this time digging his tongue in a little deeper.

The tightness around his tongue only encouraged him. Louis was rearing back onto his mouth encouraging Harry to lick and bite down on whatever his mouth could reach.

Harry made sure Louis was completely covered in his spit before switching gears and leveling himself with his boyfriend’s ass and self-lubing his dick. He was ready. He was about to lose his… well, not virginity. But this was happening and he couldn’t wait anymore. Not when his boyfriend was so hot and whimpering underneath him. 

Putting his dick inside of Louis was harder than Harry thought it would be because Louis was still so tight. But once Harry was able to get the tip of his cock inside, he gasped and threw his head back. It was so warm and tight and why hadn’t he done this before?

“Oh god, Lou –“ Harry panted. He wanted to thrust inside of Louis but the older boy was always patient with him so he had to be the same.

He leaned over Louis’ tiny frame so that they’re faces were lined up and he placed a sloppy kiss on the small boy’s lips.

“You ready?” Harry asked.

“So ready,” Louis replied between whines.

Harry slid himself completely in, lights exploding behind his closed eyes with each centimeter he gained. He pulled almost completely out and pushed himself in again over and over until he achieved a rhythm, still completely draped over Louis’ smaller body.

Louis’ arms started to buckle and he fell down to his elbows, hair falling in his eyes. Harry grabbed onto Louis’ shoulders, pulling him back so that Louis body was slamming onto his cock.

He lost control, thrusting harder and losing the rhythm because he was so enraptured by Louis and Louis’ scent and Louis’ taste and Louis’ whimpers that had been making it so hard for him not to come from the first second he entered the tightness.

Harry raked his nails down the sides of Louis’ body, keeping his chest touching Louis’ back while he thrust. His mouth attached to the tan neck underneath him and Harry wasted no time sucking dark marks into the skin. He wanted everyone to know that Louis was spoken for.

He unattached his mouth from Louis’ neck and moved to whisper in his ear, “God babe, so close… gonna come soon.”

Louis only responded by nodding his head and letting out the highest pitch moan Harry had ever heard. Harry grabbed Louis’ leaking cock in his massive hand and pumped it while he thrust himself inside twice more. Then he was losing himself in the feeling of release and bliss, spilling inside of Louis, body rigid until the very last drop left him. His hand (and their bed sheets) was covered with Louis’ cum. 

He collapsed on top of Louis who at this point wasn’t even on his knees anymore; his legs had spread so that he was practically doing the splits with his knees still pulled up. 

‘Damn Louis is so flexible… I am so fucking lucky.’ 

Exhausted. He was so exhausted. But that had been so good and he had been so close to his gorgeous boyfriend and Louis had just been perfect.

Still lying on top of him, Harry pressed his lips to Louis’ swollen ones.

“I love you more than anything. I can’t even explain how much,” he whispered.

His hair was matted to his forehead and so was Louis’. They were both sweaty and dirty, tangled up in each other in a beautiful mess.

Louis was all Harry needed in the world; Louis could help him conquer anything.

Slowly and tenderly, Harry pulled himself out of Louis, a suctioning noise that might have been unattractive if he hadn’t loved Louis so damn much, sounding through the sex filled air.

He rolled over to the side but his legs were still on top of Louis. His boyfriend stretched out his tiny body, deliciously flexing. 

“Harry?” Louis asked quietly.

“Yes babe?”

“Carry me to the bathroom so we can finish our bath.”

“Yes babe.”

Harry had to go drain the water and refill the tub with new, hot water first. Then he went back and scooped Louis into his long arms.

He was so small, he hardly weighed anything. Harry could tell that he was sleepy but he couldn’t blame him after the amazing sex they’d just had. 

Harry settled them into the steaming water, Louis immediately snuggling into Harry.

“Wash me,” Louis said, eyes closed and a content and sleepy smile painted on his face.

“Okay, love,” Harry said. Louis had him so whipped. He didn’t mind.

He took a soft washcloth and soap, cleaning Louis all over his little body. He was careful around his bottom half since he was probably pretty sore.

It didn’t take long for Louis to fall asleep in the water and Harry gazed affectionately at him. 

“I love you so much, Lou. You mean everything to me” Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s head that was resting on his chest.

Whispering wasn’t really necessary but it seemed right. It always seemed right with Louis, especially when they were wrapped up this close together.

Harry was looking forward to school tomorrow. He knew could do anything with Louis around.

Except maybe carrying the sleeping boy back to bed.

************************

Louis wasn’t in bed when Harry woke up the next morning. Harry didn’t like that. Waking up naked next to his gorgeous boyfriend was supposed to be part of the deal now that they lived together.

“Nghhh Louwhere’ryou? Comebackt’bed.” 

Harry rubbed his tired eyes and sniffed the air around him. Was that… was that food he smelled? Was Louis in the kitchen cooking? Well shit, this could be disastrous.

Harry grabbed the blanket covering his body and wrapped it around him, briefly wondering where the sheets had gone before he remembered that they had been soiled last night. He scooted out of bed and onto his feet. 

Padding out into the common area of their small flat, he looked around to the kitchen, seeing his boyfriend in a pair of black pants that were deliciously tight. (Harry considered himself the luckiest man in the world, dating someone with an ass that fantastic.) He was, indeed, cooking.

Harry cleared his throat.

“Are you making bacon for me, Lou?”

Startled, Louis turned to face Harry, whose hair was sticking up in all directions in the way that only he could pull off. He usually had to struggle to get the sex hair look but it looked like this morning he was still in luck from last night.

“Yes, yes I am. You need the nourishment, you’re still a growing boy,” Louis said with a wink. Always with the damn winks. It was too early in the morning for Harry to be this turned on.

“You’re too good to me, babe. You spoil me,” Harry said, coming up behind Louis. He wrapped his blanketed arms around Louis bare midsection and started planting kisses across his shoulders. He payed special attention to the love marks that were littering his neck.

“You look good with my marks on you, by the way,” Harry murmured.

“That’s why I’m not covering them up,” Louis said back. “Now go put some clothes on, sweet ass. You’ve got to be ready for your first day of classes and I have live up to my expectations as the perfect boyfriend and properly feed you.”

Sweet ass. Harry sighed. His boyfriend was so romantic.

Harry went back to their bed room and threw on the first pair of skin tight jeans he could find followed by a white scoop neck t-shirt and his favorite pair of worn brown boots.

He walked back into the kitchen and Louis was just piling the bacon on top of a plate of eggs and toast.

Without waiting for the food to be moved to their kitchen table, Louis picked up piece of toast and dipped it into runny egg yolk. Harry watched him place it into his mouth, licking his fingers. Some of the yolk ran down his face.

“Oh and by the way,” Louis said with a full mouth because he was polite that way, “I found the lube in the fridge behind the eggs.”

Harry choked on his bacon. 

“Yeah, I don’t know how the fuck it got in there either. But I left it in there. Figured it could be… interesting.”

Bacon was hanging out of Harry’s mouth as Louis casually stood up to clean the table and grab his book bag. Harry was red in the face and flustered at his tease of a boyfriend. And he was imagining just how interesting their next few nights could be…

************************

Philosophy. Okay, yeah. Harry could deal with his first class of the day being philosophy. He liked to think of himself as a pretty deep guy. He understood things on a philosophical level… or at least he was really good at bullshitting.

Louis had dropped him off with a quick peck on the lips in front of his building before hurrying off to his own class. Harry should have been a nervous mess but Louis had a way of calming him at the worst of times. He’d find a way to thank him later.

Now he was sitting in an uncomfortable chair, many other people in uncomfortable chairs beginning to sit way too close to him and the feeling of having to throw up was starting to come back and intensify. When was the professor going to hurry up and get here? He needed the class to get started so he could leave to find Louis as soon as possible.

And then he heard it… 

“Oh my god…”

No.

No possible way. 

This was literally impossible. He had to be hearing things. 

That voice… that voice used to haunt him. Still did sometimes. He had just about gotten to a point where he could convince himself he’d made it up completely.

This could not be real.

Harry slowly turned his curly head, hoping that he would see nothing, maybe just an interaction between friends who had been apart all summer and were excited to see each other. That would explain a shocked ‘oh my god’, right?

He turned… 

No.

Fucking.

Way.

“Oh my god!! You’re Harry Styles!”

Shit shit shit shit shit, this was supposed to be a good day, Louis told him this was going to be a good day. LOUIS LIED.

“No I’m not, I dunno what you’re talking about, who’s Harry Styles?” Harry rushed out smoothly. Oh so smoothly.

He used his overly large hand to cover his face. If he couldn’t see her, that meant she’d go away, right? 

“Yes you are, I remember you!”

This could not be happening, no, Harry refused to admit this was happening. Where was the goddamn professor already??

“I’m Eleanor! I dated Louis!”

Harry just stared ahead, horrified.

How? That was the only question that crossed his mind. How could this be happening?

‘And psh, yeah, okay, you totally ‘dated’ Louis, totally.’

This was bringing back all sorts of horrible memories of her on top of Louis, Louis touching her and…

He stopped right there. This wasn’t really the time to be throwing up over boobs.

Eleanor moved closer, taking the seat right next to Harry. She was almost touching him, turning her body to face him in her black mini dress that showed off long, tan legs. Stupid tan legs. Definitely stupid.

“I mean, of course he was totally flaming the entire time we were dating so I’m not sure if that counts, do you?” 

Harry thought maybe she would leave it at that, but no such luck. It seemed Eleanor talked as much as she used to. Fuck.

“I guess I should have known, Louis always tried to avoid touching me when we weren’t in public, that should have been my first clue! But what’s a girl to do? Do you still talk to him? I haven’t seen him in ages! I heard he goes to uni here, do you know if that’s true?”

Dear sweet god. When was this going to stop?

Eleanor was just in the middle of asking him how he was here if she was a year older than him when the professor – fucking finally – walked into the classroom.

“I’ll talk to you after class then!!”

Was she always this enthusiastic? Did she always like to ruin people’s lives this way?

Harry didn’t say one single word. He took out his notebook and clenched his pencil too hard and tried to imagine a world in which life was fair and beautiful and left rainbows instead of tornadoes named Eleanor… Eleanor what? What even was her last name? Fuck if he knew.

By the end of class, Harry had learned nothing. He knew as much philosophy as he had read on Wikipedia last night: “Socrates, born in Athens in the 5th century BCE, marks a watershed in Ancient Greek philosophy.” 

His pencil was, however, broken. So there was that.

As soon as Professor Green dismissed them, Harry was out the door as quickly as possible. But it clearly wasn’t quick enough.

“Harry! Harry, wait up! We have so much to catch up on, oh my god!” Eleanor called out, moving at an incredibly scary pace to keep up with him. How much caffeine did she drink every morning? She was truly starting to frighten Harry… she had these crazy eyes going on, the kind that psychopaths have. And he didn’t trust anyone with a thigh gap that big.

He kept walking, trying to think of any excuse so she would leave him alone.

‘Sorry Eleanor, I’ve got to go get a tattoo… of a taco… on my bum.’

Probably wouldn’t be very effective.

“I’m uh… I need to… I’ve got… a thing.”

Yes, much better. 

Keeping his head down, he walked in the direction of the student union. He knew where that was on campus. It was nearly impossible for him to get lost.

Eleanor wasn’t affected by Harry’s dismissal, brushing it off like she hadn’t heard it. She smiled brightly, showing off straight, stupid white teeth and jumped right back into her relentless talking. 

“It’s so crazy that you’re here at uni! Did you graduate early? Why would anyone want to come early? Oh well, I guess it’s your life, you can do whatever!”

She was doing this terrifying thing where she wasn’t even giving Harry time to respond to her questions. Not that Harry would have had an answer anyway; he seemed to have lost control of using his words. He did that a lot.

“I’d really like to see Louis again, I’m hoping I’ll run into him one of these days on campus.” Eleanor said, bouncing along happily like Harry wasn’t having an existential life crisis three steps ahead of her.

She just kept bringing his name up so casually. Harry wasn’t sure how to respond to it. He felt like he should probably mention that, yeah, he had seen Louis lately. In fact, he’d seen a whole lot of Louis lately. More than she probably ever wanted to hear about.

(Unless she was one of those girls. They were totally out there, he’d seen them on the internet.)

But there was no way Harry could talk about Louis in front of Eleanor. Not when he had spent the last three years of his life hating her very memory. He wished she would just go away.

“I wonder if he’s got himself a hot lad,” she mused. 

“He probably does,” she continued. “He always was one of the handsomest boys I knew. He deserves only the fittest.”

The way she was talking so indifferently about Louis being gay was distressing Harry. How was he supposed to react? Should he accept this as a truce? Should he run away and hide? Was this a trap?

But of course, she was right. Louis was extremely handsome. And Harry was pretty fit. She seemed to know what she was talking about on that front at least. 

By the time they reached the student union, Harry thought for sure that Eleanor would have run out of things to talk about. He was wrong. 

“I’m really nervous about our philosophy class, how about you? I dunno, I’m just not much of a deep thinker, I suppose.”

Harry couldn’t help but think “Or much of a thinker at all, really.” But he didn’t say it out loud. 

They entered the building, Eleanor still trailing at an uncomfortably close distance, and Harry found his way to a small table in a corner of the union. He figured that she would take the hint and leave him alone to his privacy. Most people could pick up on social cues like that.

Not Eleanor.

“Do you mind if I sit? I’ve got a while until my next class and I just haven’t seen you in such a long time! Actually, I think the last time I saw you was when you were over at Louis’ house and I spilled that lemonade on you!” The pretty brunette let out a burst of laughter. She laughed loudly and obnoxiously, but it was the infectious kind of laugh that made you want to laugh as well. Damn her for that.

“Sorry about that by the way! Total accident. Of course, Louis broke up with me pretty soon after that. Told me it was because he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but come to find out it was because I didn’t have a penis! Who would have known?” Eleanor squealed (literally squealed, she had a way of doing that) like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

And if Harry hadn’t been uncomfortable before, he definitely was now after hearing his boyfriend’s ex girlfriend use the word penis in an every day sentence. This was continuing to go downhill and Harry wasn’t sure how it could get worse.

As soon as his brain produced that thought, he caught sight of none other than Louis Tomlinson walking up the stairs in the direction of Harry’s small table.

Shit. Harry had forgotten that Louis was going to meet him here between classes so they could get lunch. He had to do damage control so that Louis wouldn’t walk up to see his perky as fuck ex girlfriend and his currently distressed boyfriend sitting together while she harassed him.

Okay what were his options? Louis hadn’t seemed to notice that Harry was sitting with Eleanor. He probably just thought it was some random girl that Harry had managed to make friends with.

He could punch Eleanor and hope her broken nose was enough to hide who she was?

No, violence and blood probably wasn’t a viable answer, especially not in the shirt he was currently wearing.

He could throw a blanket over Eleanor to hide her from sight?

Damn, if only he had a blanket.

He could run away and hope for the best?

Hmm, maybe. That one could definitely be a possibility. 

But by the time he’d run through these ideas, it was too late. Louis was approaching the table much too quickly, walking up behind Eleanor and looking at Harry’s deer in headlights expression with a raised eyebrow.

People lie when things like this happen. They always say that time slows down, moving in slow motion. That you can see everything happening bit by bit. But Harry could testify that in this situation, time moved much faster.

Milliseconds later, Louis was mere feet behind the table and Eleanor. He still hadn’t realized who it was and Harry had no way to warn him, especially not when his vocal chords seemed to have stopped working. 

“Hi babe, how was your first ever university class?” Louis asked, his voice as beautiful and vulnerable as ever, making this ugly situation that much more ironic.

‘Okay, maybe those people were on to something with the slow motion idea…’

As Eleanor turned around in her seat, Harry’s eyes widened and he tried to open his mouth to stop her. Everything really did go in slow motion this time. Her perfectly curled hair whipped around and Harry could see the recognition dawn on her face. 

As much as Harry liked to think so, Eleanor wasn’t dumb. As soon as she heard that unmistakingly familiar voice, she had known who it was; her expression was enough to tell him that. And it hadn’t taken her more than a few seconds to put two and two together. 

Her eyes got wider than Harry’s and her jaw dropped open as understanding dawned on her. She pointed at Harry and then whipped back around to point at Louis, for once completely speechless. Louis looked Harry directly in the eye with panic and confusion in his eyes but Harry could do nothing to stop it or explain.

Eleanor turned back around, pointing at Harry and sputtering pieces of words.

Then came the screaming.

“Oh my GOD! You’re dating Louis!! You’re fucking dating Louis, oh my god, this is the cutest thing ever! You are so adorable, I am absolutely dying! This is too perfect! Oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?”

Her voice only continued to get shriller. Louis and Harry were at a loss of what to do or how to react, exchanging alarmed glances. 

“Oh my god, I knew it, I knew this would happen when we were younger, this is so perfect, oh my god!”

Eleanor stood up, pulling down her black dress that was riding up in all of her terrifying excitement and grabbed Louis, pulling him into a hug. The look on his face was not a pretty one. Harry imagined it’s what a murder victim would look like in the moment they realized they were about to have their throat cut.

“Louis, oh my god, I’m so happy for you!! And you too, Harry!” 

Oh no. 

She turned and rounded on Harry, pulling him out of his chair and hugging his as well. Then she pulled both the boyfriends into a crushing hug that a girl as skinny as Eleanor should not have been able to pull off.

Finally, she let go of the two boys. Louis immediately moved to Harry’s side and grabbed his hand, whispering worryingly in his ear, “I’m so confused.”

“Yeah, me too,” was all Harry could respond with. He still hadn’t completely wrapped his head around what had happened since his philosophy class. 

Eleanor watched the two boys whispering and a scary look (scary even for her) passed over her face. It was a knowing smirk with one raised eyebrow.

“Well, boys, I don’t want to keep you from…enjoying each other,” Eleanor said, emphasizing the enjoy part.

(Yes, clearly she was one of those girls.)

Harry didn’t know if it was creepier that Eleanor seemed to be enthralled with the fact that her ex boyfriend was with another guy or that she was obviously entertaining the idea of the two of them getting it on.

Luckily, Harry had a smart boyfriend who knew how to use his words.

“Yes well, um, it was nice to see you Eleanor, have a nice day,” he said, feigning composure.

“Oh my god, yes, so lovely to see you both. And we are definitely going to be hanging out soon! It will be just like old times!” 

Well Harry sure as hell hoped not.

“Anyway, I will see you in class soon, Harry. You two lovebirds have a beautiful day!” Eleanor exclaimed, leaning in to give them both kisses on their cheeks before flouncing away, hair flowing behind her without even any wind. 

Eleanor Whatever-the-fuck-her-last-name-was had no personal boundaries.

Louis turned to face Harry, still looking flabbergasted.

“What in the hell just happened?” he asked.

“I honestly have no idea,” answered Harry. 

************************

He’d made it through an entire week of uni. He had survived his philosophy class. And he had finally given up and even spoken several sentences to Eleanor since she refused to leave him alone.

Louis had told him repeatedly how proud he was of him and tonight he actually made him a semi crappy chocolate cake with pink frosted letters: “GO HAZZA”. There was also a piece of paper folded in half that Louis had hurriedly scrawled on the inside, ‘I’m really fond of you. -Lou.’

It was possibly the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for Harry.

“Well, babe. How does it feel?” Louis asked, sitting on their tiny couch with Harry on the floor between his legs. Louis leaned down with a forkful of cake and fed his younger boyfriend, getting crumbs everywhere on their carpet. Harry shook his head. He was going to have to vacuum that later.

“It feels so great. I’m actually doing it, Lou.” 

Harry snuggled his head into Louis’ legs around him and opened his mouth for another bite of cake. 

“See, I told you this is where you belonged,” Louis said smirking, frosting smeared all over his bottom lip. Harry lifted himself up, sitting on his boyfriend’s lap. Leaning in, he kissed the chocolate off Louis’ lip.

“You’re damn right this is where I belong. And I’m not going anywhere,” Harry whispered. Maybe he whispered to Louis too much. Maybe not enough. But it was their thing. And so he leaned in close to Louis’ ear and whispered, “I love you.” 

Louis understood the whispering. He leaned in too. 

“I love you forever. I promise.”

Harry smiled. 

Louis kept his promise.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Christmas thing happens and love is in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you read, I hope you liked the story :)

“Now, this is a secret. You can’t tell anyone what I just told you, okay? Especially not Harry,” Louis said insistently to his four sisters who were now all grown up. It made him a little watery eyed. So much time had passed. So much wonderful time.

“He can’t know anything. No matter what happens, do not tell him.”

Maybe he was going a little overboard with his warnings but he couldn’t let Harry find out about his plans. It was going to be amazing. He would never see it coming and he was going to love it.

Louis turned to his mum who was standing in the living room as well. “That means you too, mum. You can’t say anything to him,” Louis said sternly.

She and Harry had gotten very close over the years that they’d been together. Harry was like a second son to her now. Louis always lit up when he saw the two of them laughing and getting along together.

Jay started to tear up a bit and Louis walked over and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. What a mum he had.

He turned and surveyed the five women in the room with a firm gaze.

“I need you all to repeat it back to me; what is the one rule about this mission?” Louis asked.

Five voices clashed together as they all repeated, “Do not tell Harry.” Louis smiled at his beautiful family. They were on board. This was going to be perfect.

“Good! I want him to be surprised when I propose.”

****************************************

It was Christmas Eve. Wow, Louis was 24 now. He could hardly wrap his head around it. And his Harry was already 20, about to turn 21. And this was the night that everything was going to change, if things went the way Louis had planned them.

Harry, who was about to graduate from university, had grown into the most incredible man. Louis woke every morning and took a few moments to look at Harry, really look at him, and take everything in. The most beautiful man in the world. The light that caused Louis to smile every second of the day. The strength that kept him from falling back into the self-hatred that sometimes threatened.

Louis struggled when he did this to come to terms with the fact that neither of them were children anymore. He was all grown up now and an entire unexplored world outside of their tiny yet warm apartment and his local teaching job was inviting him to come out and play.

He needed Harry by his side if he had any hope of making it out there. He needed Harry by his side forever.

Tonight was the night. Everything was set up exactly the way it was supposed to be. His family knew their cues and how to play their parts. Even Anne was in on it to an extent. When Louis had told her he wanted to propose to him in front of all of their family, on Christmas Eve no less, she had stood up from their kitchen table and pulled him into her arms. A few tears started to form in her eyes but they were happy tears.

“You’re the best addition to this family I could ever hope for, Louis. I already love you like a son but I’m glad it will be official now,” she had said.

“But he has to say yes first,” Louis had replied, laughing slightly. He didn’t want to assume Harry would automatically say yes. He thought he probably would. He hoped he would. But there was never a guarantee.

“Oh honey,” Anne said pushing Louis away to arms length but keeping her warm hands on his small shoulders. “He’ll say yes. He’s been waiting for this day since he was sixteen.”

A dopey smile had taken over Louis face and this time, he was the one to pull his (hopefully) soon-to-be mother-in-law into a hug.

And now tonight was the night.

Louis had just come down from his childhood room upstairs where he had changed clothes for the big event. He was taking a moment to stand just out of sight of the living room, taking deep, calming breaths and peeking to see that everything was how it was supposed to be out there.

His mum, all the girls, Anne and Harry’s siblings were scattered on various chairs and the couch in the living room. Harry, of course never being able to do something normally, was sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree. He was looking up at it with every ounce of wonder that a child would have. They may not be children anymore, but Harry would never be too old to love and find amazement in everything around him. It was of the reasons that Louis was doing this tonight. He loved Harry so damn much.

Suddenly, Louis saw Harry look away from the Christmas tree and the younger man started yelling in his slow, deep voice. (That was another reason Louis wanted to marry him. If they were ever having a fight, Harry could never sound too angry with that voice. The thought made him smile.)

“Louis! Why are you taking so long? I want to open presents!”

Louis shook his head. Maybe his boyfriend was a child.

One more deep breath filled his lungs. This was it. He could do this. This was the first step of him and Harry spending the rest of their lives traveling and eating new things and exploring their endless love in ways they’d never thought possible.

He took the step into the living room.

Harry’s face contorted into an adorable mix of confusion and a smile. Then he started laughing.

“Lou, why are you dressed up as Santa Clause?” Harry asked through his goofy, overly large smile that showed all of his square teeth.

Rolling his eyes, mostly because he almost couldn’t handle how much he loved that bloody man but also because he couldn’t give away anything (he had to play this straight), Louis walked farther into the living room, close to Harry, and picked up a small sack that was laying under the Christmas tree.

He turned around to his family. Yes, he considered Anne, Gemma and Isaiah his family. They may not be legally, yet, but everything that was a part of Harry, he considered a part of him.

With all of them gathered around for this special night, just because they loved the two boys who the night was for, overwhelmed Louis for the briefest of seconds. He had a moment where he thought he might cry but instead he just smiled.

“Ho, ho, ho! Happy Christmas!” Louis said, trying his best to fake a deep, Santa-esque voice and failing rather miserably. Harry got a lot of amusement out of that and Louis reached down and smacked the back of his curly head. Just because he was about to ask the man to marry him didn’t mean Louis couldn’t smack him.

“I have presents for everyone!” he said excitedly, dropping the Santa voice. “First, I’ll start with Anne and the two little ones who aren’t so little anymore.”

He reached inside the sack, which was made of red velvet, and pulled out a small wrapped package.

“For the lovely, Anne –“ Louis said and was interrupted by a coughed out “Suck up” from Harry.

Louis raised his eyebrows in his condescending fashion that he knew Harry thought as cute and not intimidating like he tried to come across.

“Are you quite finished?” he asked with a hand on his hip.

Harry smiled and looked like a mischievous child, nodding his head like the little shit he was.

“As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, this is for you, Anne.” Louis walked over to the love seat where Anne was sitting with her two younger children.

Too quickly, Louis was done passing out all of the presents in the sack. Everyone in the living room was looking at the jewelry or games or funny little shirts that Louis had gotten them; everyone except Harry. Louis had intentionally not given his boyfriend a gift. Not yet at least.

He could feel his palms start to sweat as the pressure of what he was about to do started creeping up, swirling around him like a thick mist. He was so nervous. This was a pivotal moment in his life and he couldn’t fuck this up.

He wouldn’t fuck this up. This was all for Harry and everything was going to be fine. There was no way this could be wrong or go badly because as long as Harry was there, everything was beautiful. Everything was perfect.

“Well,” he said, turning the empty bag over and shaking it to show everyone just how empty it was, “looks like that’s the last of them. Happy Christmas everyone!”

He glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Harry visibly frown. He never liked it when Harry frowned but he figured what was about to happen would change that frown into something much happier.

Louis looked over at his mother and sisters and gave them the nod. It was time.

Taking her cue from her older brother, Daisy very obviously pointed to the tree and shouted out, “But wait! There’s still something in the tree!”

Louis was so proud. She’d said her line perfectly, albeit a little bit forced, and it had caused Harry to turn around and look in hope that maybe it was for him. Exactly as planned.

“Well it seems there is! Now what could that be?” Louis feigned ignorance. Butterflies were attacking the inside of his stomach. Sweat was actually starting to appear on his forehead. But that also could have had to do with the fact that he was wearing a huge, fluffy and insulated red suit that kept all the heat in.

Louis grabbed the small box that was sitting alone within the branches of the trees. He took a moment to be glad Harry hadn’t noticed it before and then he was out of moments. There was no more pausing. There was no more thinking to be done. He was about to ask the love of his life to marry him in front of the most important people in their lives and he could feel the anticipation from everyone that knew what was coming, everyone except Harry.

Harry sat innocently looking up at his boyfriend, back against the stone fireplace which was burning dully, with his arms wrapped around his long legs.

Louis exploded with love for the man he got to call his own. It was random and lovely and completely welcome and overtook every one of his senses; nothing except for love pulsed through his body and sent him into a shivery overload of feeling.

So this was it. This was what it felt like to be so in love with someone that it overtakes your whole body and mind and makes you so crazy you don’t know what to do. It was indefinable and the indescribable. The only way somebody else could know this feeling was to have someone they loved as much as he loved Harry.

The small, velvet box in his hand was smooth and felt good in his hand. Inside it was the symbol of the forever he wanted to give to Harry.

“Harry…” Louis began, saying the name softly like it was the most precious thing he had. And it was. He began this with the love of his life’s name because ‘Harry’ was what had really started Louis’ life and he knew deep down inside of him that he’d leave with ‘Harry’ still on his tongue.

“Harry, I promised you that I’d love you forever. And I’m ready to make good on that promise.”

Shaking, Louis got down on one knee. From an outsider’s point of view this may have looked ridiculous, and Louis guessed it probably was. Here he was on one knee, dressed in a Santa suit about to go on with the most important thing he’d ever do in his life. And so yeah, it was ridiculous. But so were a lot of things, and so was Harry, and whatever way he looked at it, this was ridiculous in the most right way possible.

Harry looked blown away and he was looking between his boyfriend who was now kneeling in front of him and the people sitting and watching what was unfolding.

“Lou, what are you doing?” Harry asked slowly. Although Louis was nervous himself, he still picked up on the way Harry’s hands had clenched. Did he know what was coming? Probably. So Louis continued.

“Harry Styles, I want to be happy and travel the world and have a love greater than any that has ever been written about. And I can’t do that without you,” Louis said, voice cracking with emotion. He opened the velvet box and revealed the simple silver band tucked away safely in the pillows. Harry quietly gasped but didn’t say anything.

Now it was time to seal the deal. Staring into Harry’s eyes that could captivate even enemies, Louis’ heart swelled.

“Will you make all of that possible, Harry? Will you marry me?”

And then Harry started crying which caused Louis to lose it, the nervous and anxious and love-induced tears of happiness that had been threatening all night, spilling forth.

They were both on the same level, Harry still sitting on the ground and Louis still kneeling. Quickly, Harry moved so that he was on his knees too, grabbing both of Louis’ hands, box and all, and looking into Louis’ soul. They’re faces were so close, Louis could feel Harry’s breath intermingling with his own. The crackling of the fireplace was the only noise permeating the thick air around the two men.

“Louis,” Harry said, pulling Louis forward so that they were resting foreheads on one another’s. Louis forgot that anyone else was in the room. “I sort of have to marry you, don’t I? It’s only ever been you for me. It’d be pretty foolish of me to say no when I love you so much, wouldn’t it?”

Louis smiled, raising his tear stained cheeks, and let out a giggle. In that moment, Louis could swear he felt the love he had for Harry grow. How was that even possible?

“Oh, Hazza… what am I ever going to do with you?” And then he was pulling Harry in, love and electricity flowing between the two of them as their lips met and Louis forgot all about lesson plans and Harry’s graduation and Santa suits because the only thing that mattered was that soon, Harry was going to be his husband and that meant the world.

“SO IS THAT A YES???” Gemma’s voice exploded, breaking the introverted moment that the two men, now engaged, were sharing.

They broke apart, both laughing, and Louis looked to Harry expectantly.

Harry was smiling so hard that his face might have broken.

“Bloody hell, yes it’s a yes!” Harry shouted as he pulled Louis into his arms. Louis settled into the warmth of his larger boyfriend’s – scratch that, fiancé’s- body smiling from ear to ear and radiating so much happiness that surely even their families could feel it.

Louis took Harry’s left hand and slipped the ring on the fourth finger. The silver contrasted with the tan skin that was it’s backdrop and Louis thought for a moment that he’d never seen anything more beautiful in all his life. But then he looked up at Harry’s face and he knew that he was wrong.

****************************************

Louis was sitting in front of a mirror, critically eyeing his quiff and the way his tie was slightly off to the side – or was that just his mind messing with him?

Zayn was in the room with him, lying with his legs hanging off a chair against the blank wall. That was Zayn for you, messy and lazy but able to still look completely put together in his suit at the same time.

The dark skinned man was his calming agent. Since they’d hung out more through Harry over the years, Louis and Zayn had become best mates. He was also friends with the other lads, Liam and Niall, but he and Zayn had a special bond that it was difficult to discern.

Zayn could tell Louis was anxious because they were on the same brainwave most of the time. Swinging his legs over the chair, he stood up and walked over to Louis who was still scrutinizing himself in the mirror.

Louis jumped a bit when Zayn smacked his hands down on the small man’s shoulders.

“You look good, Lou,” the dark man said. “Harry loves you whether your quiff is perfect or not.”

Zayn was right. Of course he was. Louis locked eyes with his friend through the mirror and nodded his head.

Yes, he was ready for this. This was the day he’d been waiting for since he’d first fallen in love with Harry.

“You’re right, thanks,” Louis sighed out, subconsciously rubbing his palms on his pant legs. “Do you know where Harry is?”

He needed to see his fiancé before they walked down that aisle. He needed to kiss him, to touch him and breathe in his love before they became husbands. Not because he was nervous or second guessing this, he could never get cold feet when it came to Harry. But he was so anxious and he just needed and wanted this to happen right this very second and that sent his mind into a frenzy that he couldn’t explain. He needed Harry to calm that frenzy.

He couldn’t be Louis Tomlinson-Styles soon enough.

“Last time I saw him Eleanor was all over him, fixing him up like he was a doll. She was pretty scary about it, mate, I’d stay away.” Zayn told the groom, concerned.

Louis looked seriously at Zayn, “How has she not gotten one bit less frightening over the years?”

Zayn just shrugged with his hands in his pockets. “I dunno man, but I’m not sure how Harry puts up with her.” He went and sat back down in his chair, shaking his head. It was hard for Loius not to smile though.

Harry and Eleanor’s friendship was… maybe a little odd, he supposed. They’d gotten as close and he and Zayn were since they’d been going to uni together and now she was going to be standing up at the alter along with Zayn, Liam and Niall on their special day.

But Harry was allowed to be friends with whoever he pleased and after a while, it hadn’t bothered Louis. After the initial shock of it, Harry had really found someone he could talk to and be himself around besides Louis at school. Louis would always be thankful to Eleanor for being a good friend to his Hazza when he couldn’t be around.

“Right, well I need to see him so I’m going to step out for a minute –“ Louis was saying as he was standing up to go find his fiancé.

Just then, the door to the small room they were in burst open.

“NO HARRY! You can’t go in there!”

Louis turned around to catch sight of Harry Styles, looking ruggedly handsome in his black tuxedo, plowing his way into the room with Liam Payne dragging him by his left arm, trying to pull him away.

Louis’ eyes locked with Harry’s and he immediately felt the tension rush away. This was all he needed, just to see Harry, to make sure he was real and that he hadn’t made up something that perfect in his mind.

In the doorway, Liam threw his hands up in exasperation. “Look what you’ve done, now you’ve seen each other, are you happy? It is bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, what part of that did you not understand?”

This time, it was Niall who showed up, munching on a bag of crisps and licking his lips.

“It’s a good thing they’re gay and neither of them is a bride then, innit?” The blonde asked, slapping a hand on Liam’s shoulder. Louis was pretty sure he just wiped crumbs on Liam’s suit, but he didn’t want to cause any more panic than was already present in the man.

Louis got up from his chair, finally able to stop worrying about his hair, and went to wrap his arms around Harry.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Louis breathed out.

Harry just nodded his head in response, like he completely understood. They stayed in each other’s arms even when they could hear Eleanor yelling down the hall.

“Harry Styles I swear if you’re with Louis I will personally smack you both!”

The two men who were still in the doorway moved out of the way as Eleanor, looking extremely pretty in a short turquoise chiffon dress and also very annoyed, pushed her way through.

“I tried to keep him in his room, I really did try,” Liam said to the aggravated woman as she brushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.

“Just cause you’re scared of her, doesn’t mean you have to kiss her arse, Liam,” Zayn said from his comfy spot on the plush chair.

“I am not, you shut up Zayn.”

“No, he’s right, ya kind of are, mate.”

“Hold on, I am NOT a scary person. What are you even talking about?”

“Ahem.”

Louis and Harry, who had been standing back watching the madness ensue with their arms still wrapped around each other, were distracted as Anne, looking positively stunning in her dress and shoulder wrap, walked into the room. She had her stern, mothering look turned on. For a moment, everybody was quiet and awkwardly looked around with guilty expressions on their faces.

“This show’s about to start, everyone might want to get where they’re supposed to be,” she said to the crowd.

Niall, Liam, Eleanor and Zayn all moved towards the door but Harry and Louis stood frozen for a moment. They were both having the same thought: This was it. They were getting married.

Anne shut the door behind the four retreating figures and walked over to the boys, stern face gone, one full of emotion and love having taken its place.

She cupped both of their faces with her warm hands and smiled, sighing.

“My sweet, sweet boys. All grown up.”

Louis looked at Harry, still, to this very day, getting butterflies in his stomach.

Anne sighed again, but it was a sigh of happiness, of relief that her son was finally going to get to be happy with the man he loved. And Louis really appreciated that about her.

“And to think, Harry, none of this would have happened if I’d listened to you and canceled that sitter,” Anne said, teasing laced through her voice, as she released their faces and began to walk back towards the doors.

“It’s almost time, boys. See you in a few. Don’t be late,” Anne said smiling fondly as she shut the door, leaving the two boys alone.

Louis stood up on his toes and planted a sweet kiss on Harry’s cheek.

“She’s right you know,” he said. “You tried to get rid of me all that time ago and now, after today, you’ll never be able to get rid of me.”

Harry grinned, pulling Louis in to face him.

“I guess I can live with that,” the taller man whispered, gently kissing Louis on the lips.

Louis broke away from his almost husband for a moment because he’d just had a thought that concerned him.

“You do realize that we’re never, ever hiring a babysitter, ever, right?”

“Oh, no, definitely not,” Harry shook his shaggy head and grabbed Louis’ hand.

“Good, now let’s go get married, sweet ass.”

Louis swelled at Harry’s returned smile. He’d get to see that smile for forever, starting today at the words ‘I do’.


End file.
